Mirafone press release...

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poomshanka
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Mirafone press release...

Post by poomshanka »

Waldkraiburg, Germany
May 14, 2004
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE


Building on a decades-old tradition of benchmark German craftsmanship and industry-leading innovations in instrument design and manufacture, The Miraphone Corporation today announced the latest addition to their proud heritage of low brass offerings - the MOAB (Miraphone Octo Agro Basso). Taking a cue from the US DOD with their "Bigger Bombs Is Better" (BIGBIB) school of design, Miraphone acknowledged that the "Daisy Cutter" in their product line (the 190 CC Kaisertuba) just wasn't "cutting it" any more.

Speaking on condition of anonymity, highly placed sources within the company have confirmed that the MOAB generates sonic overpressure levels exponentially more powerful than even the largest BATs on the market today. When asked how it compares with tubas manufactured by Hirsbrunner and Nirschl, one executive replied, "Hershbrooner? Nurshull? Hell, I can't even spell 'em! We've got the big boy on the block now."

Proving runs with the massive instrument knocked birds out of trees, melted words out of books, and in one instance induced impotency in a man standing 45 yards away when an excerpt from Respighi's "Fountains of Rome" was played at a mere "mf" dynamic marking. As of yet, no price has been listed for the MOAB, and plant production managers have indicated that the horn might ultimately end up being used solely for shock value at music conventions and Oktoberfests.

More news as it develops...

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docpugh
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Post by docpugh »

Very nice! I can't wait to get one of these.
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poomshanka
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Don't hold yer breath...

Post by poomshanka »

Gonna be a while - from what I hear, they're in line behind a few thousand 1291s....
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