Your Daily Paraprosdokian

[Donn]

Know how to make a dead cat float?

Try root beer, two scoops of dead cat.

[Teubonium]

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

[Teubonium]

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by
those who got there first.

[Mojo workin']

On the other hand, you've got four fingers and a thumb.

[iiipopes]

One of comedian Yakov Smirnoff's signature lines when he first opened his comedy show in Branson, MO: "I've only been in this country a short distance."

[arminhachmer]

Considering all things, takes a long time.

[Kevin Hendrick]

Considering all things, takes a long time.

Time we've got -- or maybe not ...

[iiipopes]

(Mother to misbehaving child) "Come down right now out of that tree. I've told you again it's not safe. If a limb breaks and you fall and break your leg, don't you come running and crying to me about it!"

[tubatooter1940]

All things come to he who waiteth if he worketh like helleth while he waiteth.

[arminhachmer]

"When you come to a fork in the road, take it"
Yogi Berra in directing friends to his house at the end of a loop.

[tclements]

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but they have to check when you say the paint is wet?

[tclements]

Sometimes you feel like a nut...




... sometimes the Giraffe is in the bathtub.