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accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby bloke » Mon Nov 23, 2015 6:19 pm

- the most candid weekly or bi-weekly tuba lessons you'll ever receive
- possible position in the blokePlace Tuba Duet Ensemble
- reasonable parking and watering fees
- learn how to operate a John Deere Z-trak, buff sousaphones/tubas/etc., run a chainsaw, carry wood, feed guard dogs, repair fences, care for fruit trees, and much more...
- tuition proportional to individual abilities - must submit to fitness test
- bunking areas available - first come/first served (selected participant will supply their own pallet)
- successful graduate possibly eligible to receive a coveted blokePlace T-shirt

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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby Three Valves » Tue Nov 24, 2015 9:02 am

Tuition assistance??
Who needs four valves??

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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby MikeMason » Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:11 am

This is really not that crazy of an offer for a young,single person who wants to repair/play tuba for a living.you would prolly look back 10 years from now and marvel at the career-launch old Bloke gave you... :tuba:
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby Three Valves » Tue Nov 24, 2015 11:51 am

How successful is your career placement after graduation??
Who needs four valves??

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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby Three Valves » Wed Nov 25, 2015 2:28 pm

Are credits earned at blokePlace transferable to other accredited institutions??
Who needs four valves??

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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby gwwilk » Thu Nov 26, 2015 10:39 am

Three Valves wrote:Are credits earned at blokePlace transferable to other accredited institutions??

The unaccredited but nevertheless essential-to-any-further-educational-pursuits 'School of Hard Knocks' will accept Bloke's credits :!:
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby windshieldbug » Thu Nov 26, 2015 12:20 pm

Three Valves wrote:How successful is your career placement after graduation??


Everyone that has graduated is now head-and-shoulders above even Bill Gates... :shock:
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby bisontuba » Thu Nov 26, 2015 12:40 pm

A recent graduate? 8)

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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby Three Valves » Mon Nov 30, 2015 8:55 am

bloke wrote:-
- successful graduate possibly eligible to receive a coveted blokePlace T-shirt


"My kid, and my money go to blokePlace"
Who needs four valves??

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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby snorlax » Wed Dec 02, 2015 12:38 pm

Bloke wrote...
must submit to fitness test

Have YOU taken that test, Bloke?

Gotta be buff to buff tubas.

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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby bloke » Thu Dec 03, 2015 11:31 am

bisontuba wrote:A recent graduate? 8)

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HEY,
AT LEAST he's promising everyone a PONY, bro'...
All YOUR kooks promise is RATIONING of ponies.

================================================================

"ACCREDITED"...!?!?!?

A-CREDIT THIS, summich: :|

:arrow: http://www.theonion.com/article/adjunct-professor-hoping-some-student-leaves-behin-51935
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby bloke » Thu Dec 03, 2015 12:14 pm

snorlax wrote:Bloke wrote...
must submit to fitness test

Have YOU taken that test, Bloke?

Gotta be buff to buff tubas.

Snor "abs-king" lax


Tuba-player-shaped applicants will be considered, as long as they are unable to name any "games that people play on their phones"...and are unable to list more than two or three "apps".
Towards the end of each day (when I feed the fish...and they're eating less-and-less because it's getting cold, so feeding for the year will probably cease soon) I try to get out into the bottoms and fill in a couple of washes. I did these two yesterday... so if you can pick up and carry a 100 lb. piece of wood (or roll an oblong 300 - 400 lb. stump through the woods)...and do it over-and-over until SOMETHING HAS ACTUALLY BEEN ACCOMPLISHED, you're probably eligible to apply.
This recreational/"break time" portion of each apprentice's day (rather than pointlessly and metrosexually riding a bicycle from home-to-home :?: - while dressed in spandex, no less - through a "Black Lives Matter" roadblock) can be flexibly scheduled before/after breakfast or before/after dinner. :|
Moreover, activities such as these serve as a good "warm-up to" or "warm-down from" the challenging studies and assignments to be encountered each day.

Much of the curriculum is mandatory, but there are elective courses available - one of which is "Livestock and Bee Whispering 101" (course # 00001100112).

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Last edited by bloke on Thu Dec 03, 2015 12:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby Three Valves » Thu Dec 03, 2015 12:26 pm

bloke wrote:

HEY,
AT LEAST he's promising everyone a PONY, bro'...
All YOUR kooks promise is RATIONING of ponies.



There are only so many ponies.

If the greed-head 1%s hoard all the ponies for themselves, there will be none for the rest of us.

Global ecological catastrophe and terrorism will follow as the only logical outcome to the unfairness.

I trust blokePlace is a safe, unthreatening and nurturing environment where my grievances will be taken seriously.

:tuba:
Who needs four valves??

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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby bloke » Thu Dec 03, 2015 12:43 pm


I trust blokePlace is a safe, unthreatening and nurturing environment where my grievances will be taken seriously.

:tuba:


Unlike some other city-states were many reside who seem to be involved in alternatives, your "grievances" would never be violated at blokePlace.
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby bloke » Thu Dec 03, 2015 12:49 pm

Three Valves wrote:Tuition assistance??


I think we might have some leftover/not-yet-expired 10%-off coupons for DEET spray. :|
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby Doc » Thu Dec 03, 2015 2:55 pm

Sounds like I need to retire and move to BlokePlace. I always wanted to learn brass repair. Brutally honest critiques in lessons are appreciated. My grievances can usually be solved (or temporarily assuaged) with single malt scotch, Geo. Dickel, Maker's Mark, or the lovely products from Shiner, TX. I appreciate candor, common sense, logic, fresh air, smoked meats, and the fine offerings from John Deere. I'm allergic to cats, but I have a connection to buy Benadryl in bulk. I own bedding, and I can work a chainsaw. I can roll logs, carry logs, and if that won't work, I have a Jeep that can do anything. I don't know anything about bees, but I like honey enough to learn. Honey is money - let's get to work. Besides, I have chickens, and bees can't be much worse. It ain't rocket science/we're not building watches in Switzerland. I'm in shape... the shape of a tuba player. I don't play games on my phone, and the apps I have are apps that have a useful purpose. I don't need the school to provide me with instruments. I have reliable transportation. I have self-defense, tactical, and firearms training (own my own weapons and gear), so I can provide additional support to the guard dogs.

When does school start, and where do I sign?
All that, plus $8.00, will get you a venti at Starbucks.
Or in my case, a large can of Folgers.
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby Three Valves » Thu Dec 03, 2015 4:27 pm

I had it all wrong...

I will now explore opening the Three Valve Prepatory Academy for BP and U of C rejects!!
Who needs four valves??

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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby anonymous4 » Thu Dec 03, 2015 7:22 pm

I can never tell what's legit and what's a parody around here. The TubeNet trolls are really good at their job. Is bloke really having a bunch of people over to his house, or is this whole post his attempt to make fun of all the people who use this forum for recruiting?

I mean, until about a month ago, I thought his mouthpieces were an elaborate hoax.
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby pineapple-power » Thu Dec 03, 2015 8:00 pm

anonymous4 wrote:I can never tell what's legit and what's a parody around here. The TubeNet trolls are really good at their job. Is bloke really having a bunch of people over to his house, or is this whole post his attempt to make fun of all the people who use this forum for recruiting?

I mean, until about a month ago, I thought his mouthpieces were an elaborate hoax.



Pretty sure this thread is a parody, but it's a hilarious one at that.

If I'm mistaken, though, bloke should be expecting my application any minute.

EDIT: Wait, those mouthpieces are real?? Image
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby bloke » Thu Dec 03, 2015 10:10 pm

anonymous4 wrote:I mean, until about a month ago, I thought his mouthpieces were an elaborate hoax.


If your expressed former suspicion of a hoax is no hoax, I'm glad you figured out otherwise... 8)

Uber multiple copies of everything to put together way over 1000 viable mouthpiece combo's is stored in this crappy plastic cabinet...

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bloke "not bargain-basement-priced, and - sorry - nothing available here 'like a 24AW' :D "
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