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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby TheTuba » Mon Jul 02, 2018 6:44 pm

bloke wrote:
tofu wrote:Could you give us some statistics about graduation and employment rates of blokePlace graduates?

What kind of fraudulent student loans does blokePlace offer to students to eventually default on?

Does blokePlace U participate in & meet the nutrition standards of the Feds Summer Food Service Program (SFSP) providing free breakfast and lunch to students?

Can you send us a 4-color glossy brochure?


yeah...You come up with the front-end dough that is required, and we'll find a way to supply all o' that $h!t, just like all of the other top-echelon schools. Oh..and our brochure - just like the others, will feature one white female, one black male, and one Asian female...playing chess 'n' stuff.


Can I be on the brochure?
The"thinks he's black enough"Tuba
I would put a good signature here, but i dont have one, so this will make do.
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby bloke » Mon Jul 02, 2018 8:28 pm

' sorry...The brochure has already been printed, but your application fee would be welcomed.
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby TheTuba » Tue Jul 10, 2018 6:11 am

Sorry bloke, but touring the world with Roger Bobo sounds better.
The"less work makes for a bigger belly"Tuba
I would put a good signature here, but i dont have one, so this will make do.
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby bloke » Sat Sep 01, 2018 9:37 am

We are offering a special WINTER tuition for our boarding school this year.

The conditions being that accepted enrollees
- bring their own tents
- bring their own cases of Spam

Suggestion:
UNLIKE what (against our sage advice) the Berlin Philharmonic's principal horn player did here once (REALLY...NOT made up)
- do NOT stake your tent the night that a huge storm is coming, and
- do NOT stake your tent directly in the spillway of the pond
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby Three Valves » Sat Sep 01, 2018 6:17 pm

TheTuba wrote:Can I be on the brochure?
The"thinks he's black enough"Tuba


For Blokepace, I suspect yes,

For Harvard, NO!! :tuba:
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby bloke » Sat Sep 01, 2018 7:49 pm

Three Valves wrote:
TheTuba wrote:Can I be on the brochure?
The"thinks he's black enough"Tuba


For Blokepace, I suspect yes,

For Harvard, NO!! :tuba:


Soon, I suspect, Harvard may be looking for people a bit more along these lines to model for their printed material:
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby bloke » Sat May 04, 2019 9:16 am

Being tick season at bLokeplace Academy of The Tuba Crafts, we're offering a special to incoming freshmen who will enroll for the Summer Session 2019:

> one tuba lesson for every 50 feet of fence completed (to our complete satisfaction), along with these bonus add-ons:
- bonus add-on #1: daily spraying for ticks
- bonus add-on #2: no work expected during electrical storms nor hailstorms
- bonus add-on #3: free no-carb hearty breakfast (and you typically-proportioned tubists will thank us at the end of your terms...but do bring smaller-sized clothing for later in the term)
- bonus add-on #4: chlorine-free and fluoride-free artesian well water
- bonus add-on #5: all the 5-lb. catfish you can eat - if you catch it - as bLokeplace pond #2 is currently slightly overstocked. This offer is extended to ENROLLEES ONLY.

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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby Three Valves » Sat May 04, 2019 1:50 pm

Entomology is a good “fall back” major as well!!
Who needs four valves??

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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby bisontuba » Sat May 04, 2019 5:20 pm

With the 50th anniversary of Woodstock being cancelled, I think you can keep the 'dream alive' by offering Bloke-Stock...
*Ms. Bloke can do her Janis Joplin impersonation by singing 'Me and Elvis (well, it is Tennessee) McGee'...
*You can do your Jimmy Hendrix impersonation by pouring lighter fluid on your Thor and lighting it...
*No acid in the koolaid but some liquid from a still...

....the possibilities are endless... :mrgreen:
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby bloke » Sat May 04, 2019 9:13 pm

bisontuba wrote:With the 50th anniversary of Woodstock being cancelled, I think you can keep the 'dream alive' by offering Bloke-Stock...
*Ms. Bloke can do her Janis Joplin impersonation by singing 'Me and Elvis (well, it is Tennessee) McGee'...
*You can do your Jimmy Hendrix impersonation by pouring lighter fluid on your Thor and lighting it...
*No acid in the koolaid but some liquid from a still...

....the possibilities are endless... :mrgreen:


I'm not much up on Hendrix, but my Elvis impersonation - though not something about which I would boast - is probably not the "world's worst".
If you would consider enrolling, Mark, after a demonstration of each we ask the other students to vote on whether my impersonation of Elvis or your impersonation of a tuba player is more convincing. :tuba:
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby paulver » Mon May 06, 2019 6:00 pm

I see no mention of a safe room where one can pet a puppy, hug a teddy-bear, color with crayons, or even have a good cry after a hard day, then watching the evening news before bedtime.... or any time one would feel the urge !!!

I would also like to peruse the syllabi/syllabuses, (octopuses/octopi, stewardesses/stewardi, cactuses/cacti) for the listed courses of study.

Additionally, I need to examine the entrance exam prior to taking said entrance exam, and approve the grading rubric being used, so that I can decide if it's too hard for me to pass, and I reserve the right to have someone really smart to take the test on my behalf. And if I decide to take the test myself, I further reserve the right to have one of the athletic coaches alter my test score so as not to embarrass myself, my parents, or anyone else who thinks that my good looks..... or my mother's, automatically qualify me as being extremely intelligent.

Also, I need to be assured that there will be no removal from any classes and/or the school itself, should I have an immature and disruptive outburst in class..... whether it is intentional or accidental.

Is there a "parents weekend" whereby they..... my parents, can come visit me and view my accomplishments?..... complete with banquet and awards ceremony?

And finally, to whom do my parents write the check for preferential entrance and altered placement assistance, no matter my test scores and/or lack of experience, or prior high school participation in any activities remotely relating to my field of endeavor, or college and state sanctioned organized athletics programs?

***Please find attached to my application, the business card of my personal attorney. File it in an appropriate place so you may reference it should you feel the need or desire to reprimand me for any reason.
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby bloke » Wed May 08, 2019 11:52 am

The application list is now closed. Top-billed actors'/actresses' children have totally filled enrollment capacity.

Thank-you to all who applied. Your resumes were all very impressive, and we feel certain that you'll eventually be accepted into some very fine institutions.

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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby Three Valves » Wed May 08, 2019 5:36 pm

It’s always the underprivileged that suffer most!! :cry:
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Re: accepting applications for summer studies at blokePlace

Postby NDCompuGeek » Wed May 08, 2019 9:26 pm

Is that State Pen or Penn State? I'm unfamiliar with both....
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