nasty gross and disgusting valves

[Kevin Hendrick]

My sousaphone keeps ejecting my spit all over my shirt out of the valve bottoms any way to corect this issue???

Play a marching baritone!

That'd do it -- a marching tuba that's held out in front of you like a marching baritone ...

[Kevin Hendrick]

That should attract some attention.

Espescially if you unroll them ALL THE WAY first...

You know that Trojan has been putting serial numbers on their condoms for some time now.

Well, I knew they were putting them on the Magnum XLs -- didn't know if they were numbering the smaller ones too ...

[Kevin Hendrick]

Play a marching baritone!

That'd do it -- a marching tuba that's held out in front of you like a marching baritone ...

Sort of like the one in the middle?

Actually, more like a scaled-up version of this:

http://www.bassethoundmusic.com/fluba.html

(you'd probably need a wheel at the bottom of the peg -- I think I saw something like that in a Dr. Seuss book many years ago )

[Kevin Hendrick]

You know that Trojan has been putting serial numbers on their condoms for some time now.

Well, I knew they were putting them on the Magnum XLs -- didn't know if they were numbering the smaller ones too ...

Yeah, the Magnum XLs. To see them you need to unroll them all the way to the very end. Of course, not too many guys have even needed to do that . . .

Oh, I know where they are -- just haven't had occasion to use the "little" ones (a.k.a. "tourniquets") ...

[ken k]

Wha'-bout foam rubber...or a sponge held with a rubber band or a chick's elastic hair band?

sounds like an excellent use for a tubenet thong....

Actually on my concert tuba i just a have a rolled up cloth (actually an old cloth diaper, from when my kids used them. They make great cleaning cloths!) under my valves.

It (spit) sort of goes with the territory, spit and or oil will eventually work its way out the bottom of the valves. The cleaner you can keep the horn the less disgusting it will be.

ken "spit happens" k