What makes a tuba player a tuba player?

Leland · Post by **Leland** » Sat May 05, 2007 12:22 am

One of the guys I used to work with said that, upon entering a high school band room, he told the person he was with, "I'll bet I can spot the tuba players in ten seconds."

He looked at the kids milling about, saw a few guys standing there making low "BAAHHH" and "GHURRR" sounds (with gestures, too), and says, "Those are the tubas, aren't they?"

Yup, he was right.

LoyalTubist · Post by **LoyalTubist** » Sat May 05, 2007 12:26 am

Or, in community orchestras, he is the one who looks like he is dressed to go hunting!

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Sat May 05, 2007 8:14 am

Make him carry the sousaphone around with him for a few days.

That'll put him in the right frame of mind to prepare him!

twoconnguy · Post by **twoconnguy** » Sun May 06, 2007 12:16 pm

Have him watch "Brassed Off". I've always felt that film really captured the essence of people that play low brass for fun.
Garrison Keillor's description is also pretty accurate.
"Tuba: "The tuba player is normally a stocky, bearded guy whose hobby is plumbing. The only member of the orchestra who bowls over 250 and gets his deer every year and changes his own oil. In his locker downstairs, he keeps a pair of lederhosen for free-lance jobs."
Our community band director has an annual holiday party that includes lots of friends and family, besides band members. I was talking with our french horn player and her husband, a trombonist, both fine musicians, and section leaders. A guest joined the conversation and asked if we were all in the band,and we said yes. He replied that he was honored to be in the company of such fine musicians, to which I retorted,
"Those two are musicians, I'm a tuba player."

Rick Denney · Post by **Rick Denney** » Mon May 07, 2007 1:35 am

EuphManRob wrote:
Rick Denney wrote:Tim Hulce gave it his best shot, but he was dreadful as Mozart the musician, especially when conducting.
Tom Hulce wasn't faking. On the "making of" featurette that's on the Amadeus DVD, they say that he spent hours and hours and hours practicing the piano. All those performances are really Tom Hulce playing.

Now the conducting, granted, is pretty bad...

Come to think of it, the only time they showed his fingers was when the music was pretty simple.

As to the conducting being accurate for the day, I would have thought there wouldn't have been much of a conductor in Mozart's day. Wouldn't the leader have led from the harpsichord?

Most actors pretending to conduct have no time or rhythm, and they move just their hands instead of their whole being. Even when just the hands move, a real conductor is fully engaged. Even floor-door-window-ceiling bad conductors.

Rick "not too impressed with actor portrayals of engineers, either" Denney

JCalkin · Post by **JCalkin** » Mon May 07, 2007 12:49 pm

First, I want to thank you all for your help/advice/comedy in these posts.

Now, as to your concerns, comments and questions:

The play in question is "Empty Plate at the Cafe Du Grande Boeuf" by Michael Hollinger.

The script does not specifically ask for a tuba, but instead (as the play takes place in an extremely small cafe) for one large, unwieldy instrument from a provided list of five. The tuba was chosen from the list by the director.

I, as a tuba player/teacher/nutjob myself, share the concerns some of you have expressed about the use of the tuba as "mere" comic relief. My role as a teacher (and my goal thus far) has been to simply teach the kid to play the horn as well as I can in the time provided and let him make the statement he wishes to make (after all, I'm not the actor, or director, or involved with this play in any way other than teaching the tuba lessons).

My student's question to me was simply as I put it to you all. He didn't specify whether he was going to portray a fat, drunken slob, a part-time tuba hobbyist, a failed orchestral practice room jock mired in his own bitterness, a beginner just discovering the wondrous world of tubadom or a University teacher with a side gig (and what a great one THAT would be!) I agree completely that the most important step in making him seem like a tuba player is to get him playing as well as possible.

I'm sending him the URL for this thread, as I figure it's a good a source of material for his character study as any.

Thanks again for your collective help!

Leland · Post by **Leland** » Mon May 07, 2007 1:03 pm

JCalkin wrote: or a University teacher with a side gig (and what a great one THAT would be!)

Especially if his University position has nothing to do with music.

JCalkin wrote:I'm sending him the URL for this thread, as I figure it's a good a source of material for his character study as any.

True! And not just the content of the posts, either, but the nature of the thread itself.

Biggs · Post by **Biggs** » Mon May 07, 2007 2:45 pm

JCalkin wrote: the concerns some of you have expressed about the use of the tuba as "mere" comic relief

I think that we, as entertainers, should take ourselves a little less seriously. The tuba can be quite funny sometimes. Shouldn't we embrace this quality rather than ignore it? Like actors, shouldn't we try to cultivate a diverse palette of expressive techniques?

Even Dirty Harry cracked a few jokes in between shooting people.

tubeast · Post by **tubeast** » Mon May 07, 2007 7:47 pm

This is adressed to the guy the link to this thread has been passed on to...

So... after browsing through some other threads in this forum, some of them off-topic...
Whaddayathink ?

Really, IÂ´d truly like to get some feedback on what this community seems like to the rather unprepared, if not naive, recipient . (?)

SplatterTone · Post by **SplatterTone** » Mon May 07, 2007 9:18 pm

Really, IÂ´d truly like to get some feedback on what this community seems like to the rather unprepared, if not naive, recipient . (?)

I'd say: Good barbeque.

Leland · Post by **Leland** » Mon May 07, 2007 11:45 pm

Can't forget about this kind of inspiration:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nd_gvR06j6s