Tuba Financing

[funkcicle]

wtf.

[Chuck(G)]

Here's an offer:

Pick out whatever brand-new tuba you want, as long as it is a model on my pre-approved list and purchased at or below my pre-approved purchase price for that model.

Provided I pre-approve the purchase price and the model, I'll finance it for you.

You can pay 50% down to me, and I'll purchase the instrument for you and finance the other 50% of the amount.

The terms are as follows:

Joe, you thinkin' about entering a new line of work?

[Joe Baker]

Here's an offer:

Pick out whatever brand-new tuba you want, as long as it is a model on my pre-approved list and purchased at or below my pre-approved purchase price for that model.

Provided I pre-approve the purchase price and the model, I'll finance it for you.

You can pay 50% down to me, and I'll purchase the instrument for you and finance the other 50% of the amount.

The terms are as follows:

1/ I will hold on to the instrument as collateral until the complete debt is paid.
2/ The interest rate is 21% per annum.
3/ Payments are due monthly beginning immediately for 120 months (10 years), and the pre-payment penalty is 250% of the balance due + 100% of the down payment.
4/ If any payment is missed, 200% of the balance (including interest and pre-payment penalties) is due on demand. Default will dictate immediate repossession. Any legal fees incurred to collect the balance will be paid by the borrower.
5/ Once all of the payments have been made as specified above, the tuba will be surrendered to you for your use.
6/ The financier cannot be held responsible for wear-and-tear of any items held in collateral.

Bloke, if you made your terms one font-size smaller, you'd have people lined up around the block to take you up on your offer!
___________________________________
Joe Baker, who throws away a half-dozen or so WORSE offers that arrive in unsolicited mail, every day.

[Chuck(G)]

Maybe I'm stupid or just a sucker for older horns.

But that HB doesn't look too awful to me. If it were my horn, I'd happily drop a couple of grand getting it spiffed up. I mean, what does a NEW HBS-192 go for nowadays?