To recess or stay until the music is over

[sinfonian]

Ok, this has been a debate between my wife and me for years. I say that once the priest walks out you are suppose to leave (why do they call it recessional music). My wife says we should stay until the music is over.

I told her I would agree if our church used something other then guitar music such as Tuba quartet or even a good pipe organ.

Thanks for helping solve this marital problem.

[quinterbourne]

Well, if you enjoy listening to the recessional music, then by all means stay around till the end of it. However, it is by no means rude to walk out during the recessional music (if that was the opinion your wife was taking).

However, at least in the way it operates in the churches I attend - the recessional is a "wedding term." That is, it is the music that is played to usher out the bridal party. If timed correctly, the recessional music will finish once the bridal party has left - then we move to another piece of music... the postlude, which is supposed to get the congregation going.

At non wedding services... there is no "recessional" only a "postlude" which is supposed to be background music while the congregation leaves... it is not intended to "entertain." Nothing wrong with stickin' to the end though.

Personal preferences, of course!

[SplatterTone]

At a good and proper church wedding, the ushers let folks know when they can leave; and then you go through the reception line congratulating the newlyweds.

At slightly less formal weddings, then the recessional is your cue to lean to one side and turn loose that big flatus that has been building up througout the ceremony.

[Steve Marcus]

Unitarians consider music itself to be an integral part of worship. Thus, the entire congregation will sit and listen quietly until the postlude has been completed.

It's very gratifying, expecially for the performing musician(s).

[tubeast]

It's very gratifying, expecially for the performing musician(s).

Especially so if it´s NOT the rule that the congregation stay until that time, but choose to do so anyways.
This is why most of the time I encounter instrumentalists other than the organist in service, the organ still gets to play the postlude, even IF other instrumentalists play after the last blessing.

[Steve Inman]

My opinion:

Wedding -- you leave when the usher shows up at your row

Church -- this depends on your local culture (i.e. practice, not level of "refinement"). The church culture I'm familiar with is that the music is being played as background whilst the congregants depart the sanctuary. This has been my typical experience with most/all churches I have attended or visited. Note -- as a Protestant, I have very little exposure to the "cultural norm" at a Catholic church, however. I have attended Presbyterian, Methodist, Baptist, Episcopal, Lutheran, and "other" Protestant churches over the years. I have never attended a church where you would not be welcome to sit and wait for the music to conclude before leaving, however. The only "exception" is noted in the "Wedding" category above, where your continued presence might impede others in your row from departing. Still, you could most likely step to the side in the aisle and then sit back down after the rest of your pew had passed, IMO.

Cheers,

[Chuck(G)]

In the old Roman Catholic Latin mass (pre Vatican II), the service would be concluded by the priest turning to the congregation and saying "Ite, missa est" (Go, you are sent forth), which was a pretty clear sign that things were over. Still, final prayers and hymns were sometimes added. You could stay and participate in these, but were under no obligation to do so.

[windshieldbug]

Doesn't matter. Anything worth listening to, and I'm staying. Shuffle of feet (just like on the stage) will suffice at the end.