What makes a tuba player a tuba player?

[JCalkin]

I have a beginning student who is a theater major. I need to teach him tuba well enough to get by on one song on stage, in five weeks. That part is going well, but he asked me a question I thought would be interesting to put to the TNFJ.

This student wants to get "into the part" of being a tuba player. He asked me during our last lesson what some mannerisms are that he could adopt that would make him seem more like a real tubist.

Here's my (his) question: What are some things he could do on stage while playing Lady of Spain on his sousaphone that would make him seem an "authentic" tuba player?

We've already ruled out the imbibing of various adult beverages (Iowa is a dry campus).

[iiipopes]

Read magazines while others are saying their lines.
Tell bad jokes about the woodwind players.
Use words like "pedal" and "BAT" and describe everything in fractional terms like 4/4 or 5/4.
Ridicule string players.
If the beverages are out, then focus on the food instead.
Appear onstage with the true demeanor of knowing that everyone else in the band or orchestra ultimately depends on you to sound good, but without bragging about it.
Never be apologetic about your playing. Considerate, yes; but apologetic, NO.
Above all: true humility combined with Teddy Roosevelt style complete self-confidence. (you know -- walk softly and carrying the biggest stick)

[pulseczar]

Tell him talk to the dean about allowing him to imbibe adult beverages because it is beneficial to his character.

Flatulence is always a good stereotype.

Other than that, teach him how to blat really loud.

[Rick Denney]

Here's my (his) question: What are some things he could do on stage while playing Lady of Spain on his sousaphone that would make him seem an "authentic" tuba player?

Put grease under his fingernails, leave his fly unzipped, and wipe his mouth on his sleeve frequently. And have a mug of beer near to hand to quaff during all rests longer than two beats. Near Beer (alcohol free) works well enough--after all, he's acting.

Rick "oh, and wear glasses" Denney

[Chuck(G)]

Sweaty, fat and bald works pretty well.

[LoyalTubist]

Read magazines while others are saying their lines.
Tell bad jokes about the woodwind players.
Use words like "pedal" and "BAT" and describe everything in fractional terms like 4/4 or 5/4.
Ridicule string players.
If the beverages are out, then focus on the food instead.
Appear onstage with the true demeanor of knowing that everyone else in the band or orchestra ultimately depends on you to sound good, but without bragging about it.
Never be apologetic about your playing. Considerate, yes; but apologetic, NO.
Above all: true humility combined with Teddy Roosevelt style complete self-confidence. (you know -- walk softly and carrying the biggest stick)

I don't speak in fractional terms and, since I know what BAT stands for, and I don't use that kind of language, so I don't use that term either.

I don't just ridicule string players, but also singers. I went to a graduate school where 90% of the music majors were singing down the hall.. BLAH!

Being a real tuba player is an attitude that doesn't require a certain vocablulary. If you listen to any Romantic Period orchestral piece and sing along with the tuba part.... If you know the name of every tuba player in at least 50 major symphony orchestras... If you have a tenor voice and feel cheated because you can't sing low...

well...

I can sing pretty low!

[dtemp]

Make sure to noticeably giggle every time someone mentions something that could be remotely construed as any sort of innuendo.

"Your Mom" jokes are always good.

You might want to show up late for your cue....

[TubaRay]

The question I have in responding to this thread is to which image the actor wishes to portray. Is it the stereotypical tuba player, or is it what we know as the real.

If it is to be the sterotypical, then it is simple. All one has to do is be/act big, fat, and stupid. Being sloppy is also a plus. As for the real-world tuba player, my experience says that very certainly depends on what level he/she is on. Once one has signed on to be serious about being a tuba player, it is my experience that these people are most often very humble, down-to-earth people, who understand the importance of their role in an ensemble and try their best to fulfill it. To put is another way, they are usually just "regular guys," (or gals, of course). I'm not sure how one would act this on stage.

All in all, my guess is the actor is looking for the stereotype.

[chipster55]

I always thought Flounder in "Animal House" should have been a tuba player - Dean Wormer had him pegged as one, "Fat, drunk, & stupid is no way to go through life, son."

[windshieldbug]

What makes a tuba player a tuba player?

Duh, this is a trick question, right?

Give him/her a tuba!

[jeopardymaster]

My advice, as a sometimes actor, is to forget the stereotypes, learn to play Lady of Spain on tuba, and learn to show love for the instrument and particularly for music.

So, what is the play?

[Toobist]

Actually I addressed this very question with one of my more advanced students several months ago.

I asked him, "Are you sure you want to become a tuba player?"
He responded, "Yes."
"Then you have to play the tuba."
He didn't quite know how to take that so I asked him another question, "What does a tuba player do?"
"He plays tuba."
"That's right. He plays tuba." I replied, "He's a musician who has chosen tuba as his instrument and he plays every day."
He thought about that for a second and I put him at ease with that 'yes, tuba players take days off, of course, but that's what they are - days off.'

Since then, he's been practicing nearly every day and has an entirely different outlook on his practice time. It's less of the Oh! I have a lesson coming up! I have to cram! and more of the, I'm a tuba player, so I play the tuba.

The truth is, it's a struggle that I and many of us have when justifying what we do. I have a day job, but I'm a tuba player. I sell instruments during the day but I'm still gigging and organizing projects constantly. I play every day (but for my 'days off') and am very close to not needing the day gig any longer. It's a goal I'm on ther verge of achieving and it's positively exhausting, social-life destroying, wife-alienating and sleep depriving but I'm a tuba player.

Because I play the tuba, I'm a tuba player.

It's a little philosophical and poorly expressed probably, but I hope as you read it, you understand and perhaps you can even relate.

Sorry to add a more serious note to an otherwise hilarious thread.

[The Big Ben]

Because I play the tuba, I'm a tuba player.

It's a little philosophical and poorly expressed probably, but I hope as you read it, you understand and perhaps you can even relate.

Yes, I understand. I'm a HS teacher (not music but photo, history and English) and I have these kinds of discussions with my students all the time. I had a student who told me she was going to be a singer. "Yes, I'm going to move to Seattle and be a singer. That's what I want to do." So I asked her, "Where are you singing now? Are you in a choir? A band? Sing me a tune."
She replied, "No, I can't sing until I have some training. But I want to be a singer." I told her that to be a singer, one must sing. Anywhere, any time, any quality. She didn't get it and, no, she did not move to Seattle and become a singer. She got pregnant, married the doofus and works at "a job". Still doesn't sing in the choir or with a band or by herself. She was lamenting her station in life to me and the loss of her dream. You can imagine what I said to her: "Sing me a tune". She wouldn't. Still doesn't get it.

I do the same with kids who want to be writers and photographers. Some get it and write reams and take stacks of photos. Others mope about it and forget about it.

Indeed, to be a tuba player, one must play the tuba...

[Allen]

I wasn't aware that "Lady of Spain" could be played on any instrument other than the accordion. I guess I learn something every day.

Seriously, the OP was not specific on whether the actor was going to play a bad tubist or a good tubist. It does seem that there has been advice on playing both types.

From an acting viewpoint, the one thing that all sousaphonists have in common is that they are quite used to handling, and indeed wearing their instruments. Besides learning to play the music, your actor should learn credible handling of this large and unweildy instrument.

Cheers,
Allen
(who hopes that this tuba-playing bit is not mere comic relief)

[windshieldbug]

What makes a tuba player a tuba player?

The ability to take a joke. Well.

[Rick Denney]

Okay, how can this request be taken seriously? With all due respect to the original poster, actors emulate the moves of musicians because they don't actually play music. Occasionally, they do it well. Sean Connery's faux performance on soprano sax in Russia House comes to mind as one of the very rare convincing performances. Richard Gere wasn't that bad in Cotton Club, where he supposedly actually did some of his own playing. Dudley Moore was great, but then he was a real musician. Tim Hulce gave it his best shot, but he was dreadful as Mozart the musician, especially when conducting. I've seen some really hilarious mock conducting done by actors.

But even with Connery, you just knew there was a real soprano sax player in some sound booth standing in front of a screen playing into a microphone for the sound editor.

If you can teach the kid to play convincingly, he'll look like a tuba player. Tell him all he needs to do is figure out how to tell a story with the music.

If you laugh at him every time he plays, then he'll start to develop the inferiority complex that prevents the cool kids from taking up tuba, leaving it to the fat geeks with low self-esteem like me. (Go watch Hollywood Knights for a further example.) But is that part of the story?

Rick "who thinks derision was a natural response" Denney

[goldtuba]

Two tuba players walk past a bar...well, it could happen.

[MaryAnn]

<snip>
I had a student who told me she was going to be a singer. "Yes, I'm going to move to Seattle and be a singer. That's what I want to do." So I asked her, "Where are you singing now? Are you in a choir? A band? Sing me a tune."
She replied, "No, I can't sing until I have some training. But I want to be a singer." I told her that to be a singer, one must sing. Anywhere, any time, any quality. She didn't get it and, no, she did not move to Seattle and become a singer. <snip>..

Reminds me of the category of student who comes to take lessons, and expects to:

Already Be Good

after a few lessons. When they see what is involved in becoming good, they leave with the wind. It really wasn't what they had in mind. They are in love with the idea of the finished product, not the journey to get there.

MA

[jeopardymaster]

Question: Who is the patron saint of accordion players?

For a noble effort at attempting to look like an instrumentalist, I recommend a look at Robert De Niro as the saxman in "New York, New York." I understand he prepared for that as assiduously as he has for any role - which is saying quite a lot. Almost pulled it off, too.

So, what is the play?

[LoyalTubist]

But conducting WAS bad in those days.

Bill thinks Tom Hulce was authentic in Mozart's conducting style.


Bill, who hates Mozart, had to analyze the last ten of that composer's symphonies as a grad school student and make artistic suggestions for corrections. He wanted to say, "Add a tuba and a few trombones," but the tuba comment was retracted since there was no tuba until 1835.