TubeNet

Very good. Perfect for Jr. Hi. / High School level.

And ... if there's a tuba player in the audience who really wants to know more -- s/he'll go do some research to find out.

If there's a college tubist in the audience -- they already know the details anyway, so you aren't explaining it for them.

Cheers,

bloke wrote:bloke "It is also very easy for the other four players to spend W-A-Y too much time discussing and demonstrating 'mutes' ."

Exacty right! I will never forget the 30 minute boring lecture on the history of the horn from hunting horn to the modern triple horn, delivered in monotone, multi-syllabic, condescendly literate style, by a horn player who was too bored to be bothered with the job in the first place. Bravo!


Exacty ryt! Ill nvr 4gt d 30 minit wayyyy borin lecture on d hx of d horn frm hunting horn 2 d modrn 3x horn, Dlvd n monotone, multi-syllabic condescendly liter8 styl by a horn playa hu wz 2 bord 2B botherd W d job n d 1st plce.

I love it. Keep it simple and brief, but pleasant and sufficiently informative.
I blew it one night when we played Cosmo's Bar and Grille.
Two very dignified ladies sat with us all evening at one of the front tables. As we began to break down, one of them walked up and asked me, "Excuse me. What is that big horn you've been playing?
I replied, "It's a tuba - unless you're from Alabama, and then it's a tuber."
She said, "Whatever it is, the sound that comes out of it makes me smile."
This person got up and walked over to give me what I consider to be the ultimate compliment and I did this smart alec number on her.
I promise to try and not be such an idiot ever again.

During the spring we play at a few schools. (Keeps our 501(c)(3) status up.) Anyway, there is usually a kid or two who will come up to me and ask about the tuba. They can't take their eyes off it. It's like a magnet.

I always go out of my way to answer any questions they have and to assure them that yes, it is the coolest instrument in the band and lots of fun to play.

Never had one ask me about its history or what key it's in, though.

I'd try something like

Yes, this is a tuba, the coolest instrument to play. You'll notice that the number of valves is relative to the brains required to master all the combinations, so the trumpets have 3, the french horn 4, the trombone only 1, and I have a lot. Draw your own conclusions...

windshieldbug wrote:I'd try something like

Yes, this is a tuba, the coolest instrument to play. You'll notice that the number of valves is relative to the brains required to master all the combinations, so the trumpets have 3, the french horn 4, the trombone only 1, and I have a lot. Draw your own conclusions...

So, what does that make the clarinet player?

lgb&dtuba wrote:So, what does that make the clarinet player?

Lost.

lgb&dtuba wrote:

windshieldbug wrote:I'd try something like

Yes, this is a tuba, the coolest instrument to play. You'll notice that the number of valves is relative to the brains required to master all the combinations, so the trumpets have 3, the french horn 4, the trombone only 1, and I have a lot. Draw your own conclusions...

So, what does that make the clarinet player? :)

The clarinet has no valves. A clarinet player is one notch below the trombone player unless he plays a straight tenor.

I like Windshieldbug's line and will appropriate it with accreditation as needed.

lgb&dtuba wrote:

windshieldbug wrote:I'd try something like

Yes, this is a tuba, the coolest instrument to play. You'll notice that the number of valves is relative to the brains required to master all the combinations, so the trumpets have 3, the french horn 4, the trombone only 1, and I have a lot. Draw your own conclusions...

So, what does that make the clarinet player?

A clarinet has NO valves.

Mark wrote:

lgb&dtuba wrote:

windshieldbug wrote:I'd try something like

So, what does that make the clarinet player?

A clarinet has NO valves.

No valves, true, but I was pointing out the crack about brains and combinations could easily backfire on you. And if the clarinet player doesn't jump you, then there are others. I wouldn't give our accordian player an opening like that.

I don't think the difference between valves and keys is going to bail you out with most kids, as you try to explain that technicality after you've been had.

lgb&dtuba wrote:I was pointing out the crack about brains and combinations could easily backfire on you.

Doesn't matter, anyway. Still means you have more gray cells than the rest of the brass quintet!

If you choose to play with an accordian, then it's your own fault!

windshieldbug wrote: If you choose to play with an accordian, then it's your own fault!

Well, you got me there.