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I think your roomate may be confused between the recessive genetic trait. I think it is linked not to rolling r's with the tongue, but instead to rolling the sides of the tongue up in a curl. I remember studying rolling the tongue when we studied genetics. That is a genetic trait. I don't know about rolling "RRs" as being genetic, so he may or may not be correct on that.

Try placing the tip of your tongue on the forward most roof of your mouth right behind the two front teeth as if saying "doh". Relax the tongue and blow air through. Simple physics, not genetics, should cause it to flutter. If you absolutely cannot produce a flutter, then maybe a "jazz" growl would suffice. I produce that by raising the back of my tongue to the soft palate while blowing. It's a totally different effect and probably won't blend well your section mates, so don't give up on the flutter tonguing yet.

The growl mentioned above worked for me for years before I could FINALLY get the flutter working in some particular instances. I was only able to flutter up to about F or G at the top of the staff and back when I first performed Thomas Benjamin's "Sonata" where, in the last movement, it calls for flutter on a D above the staff. I just couldn't pull it off! That was 5 or 6 years ago and I just rectently revisited the piece and I can now do it without a problem. The growl was quite passable though, at the time, and is an option for those who cannot flutter tongue (and I do believe there are those who are genetically unable to do it).

Basically, like Eric B said, put the tip of the tongue on the forward most roof of you mouth. After that, put a lot of air behind it. Plenty of air. If it doesn't work, put more air behind it. That seems to be the thing that makes it hardest for people, is not putting enough air behind it.

I could actually flutter tongue before I could roll my r's. What my problem was? It was putting enough air behind it. But don't feel bad. The choir director I have, said that she couldn't roll her r's until she was like 25. When she got it, was when she pushed a lot of air behind it. When I got rolling r's, I put a lot of air behind it. It just seems to be how to roll the r.

the more air idea has never worked for me. I simply can't flutter tongue.

I used to use the growl as described; but, 10 years ago I had a uvuloplasty (or something, the doc whacked my uvula) in an effort to reduce snoring and apnea. That didn't work, but it effectively took away that growl option. In the last couple of years I've managed to get it back just a little bit.

But, no flutter tongue still.

Can't flutter tongue either, tried and tried. It must be a physical thing, OR, since our language does not use it, we never developed the muscular coordination necessary.
HOWEVER,
Everything about the uvula works. I studied German for several years and learned to vibrate the uvula in their language the way the Spanish roll their R's. Gets almost the same result, and makes for a good growl on tuba or bass trombone. I don't think it would work as well on a smaller instrument.
Shake your uvula!

Sounds a lot like gargling, which is what I have to do since I can't roll R's or flutter tongue.

I always found fluttertonguing easy, but I don't like the sound of it-especially on tuba. My sister had a lot of difficulty trying to do it on flute. I have read that it is a genetic thing, as mentioned above. The only time I ever found it to be useful was in a master's degree recital many years ago when a composer wanted a pedal Bb pianississimo. I finally tried using the flutter tongue instead of a buzz, and he loved it.

Art Hovey wrote:I finally tried using the flutter tongue instead of a buzz, and he loved it.

No dishonor... I've been in similar circumstances, done the same thing, with similar results!