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IMAGINARY TUBA
(c) Greene (Best of Breed Music/ASCAP)
All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
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Poor poor boy, no tuba for a toy
He oompahs very well though only he can tell

At the age of thirteen, he was seldom seen
playing ball with other boys
Down at the wharf he'd march back and forth
making a flatulent noise
His parents wondered, where did they go wrong
They hoped it was just a phase
Soon he'll outgrow that bizarre obsession
that imaginary tuba that he plays

Poor poor boy, no tuba for a toy
He oompahs very well though only he can tell

They bought him a piano, a set of drums, they even bought a guitar
but a tuba? no way, it's out of the question
That's simply going too far
In orchestras they hide them way in the back
'cause they're big and fat and they smell
they're only good for beer halls and parades
oh, and lobbing things down the bell

Poor poor boy, no tuba for a toy
He oompahs very well though only he can tell

See him blow his secret horn
people turn to mock
he doesn't care about their scorn
he just marches down the block - 'cause he's a

Poor poor boy, no tuba for a toy
He oompahs very well though only he can tell.