The Woman Who has put up with Me the Past Twenty Five + Years and I were visiting her brother and his family. As I was creating an itinerary that included a brewery tour of Hook Norton, I was privileged to be a guest at Jonathan' home in Andover. My wife and I enjoyed a superb home-cooked Chinese meal of pork, chicken, salmon, vegetables, and green tea. Jonathan and Mei are a delightful match and warm, gracious hosts. For those TubeNetters who've never met him, Jonathan is a gentleman of the first order.
Before we tucked into Mei's delicious supper/tea, Jonathan allowed me to play several of his horns. Little did he know what havoc an Ozark hillbilly can wreak when inspired by playing new tubas
. Jonathan has an entire room (not a wee one either) displaying some of his tubas. Got my hands on his BBb 5/4 piston, 4/4 German-style rotary, and his 4/4 CC and attempted to play through my Christmas beard and moustache. Couldn't get a good seal, despite playing on some great Denis Wick mpcs, due to my 'stache. Never could play with one . . .When Mei announced that the meal was ready, Jonathan (being a gracious host and valiant protector of his inventory) carefully put away all the tubas I played except for one. Eager to help my host, I assured him that I would put the big 5/4 piston in it's stand. As I picked up the tuba, I also stood up to place it - all 76" of me. I forgot about Jonathan's steeply sloping ceiling in his elephant room. I smashed to tiny pieces the overhead fluorescent light. My blow sent pieces into the tuba I held, into two or three other innocent horns; underneath his piano, and several other pieces of furniture. The phosphor powder wasn't everywhere, mostly on me, but I vacuumed everywhere I could see and even where I couldn't. It was NOT my finest moment.
My face was as red as my neck (insert your favorite redneck definition here).Mei quickly came to my rescue with the "hoover" and I gratefully accepted a dustpan and broom from Jonathan. I forced £5 on him as small recompense for the damage.
I was never so glad to eat a meal as I was after that episode. Certainly enjoyed some fine English ale, for calmative purposes only, when I got back to our place.
