TubeNet

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE the sound of the euphonium; I admire many euphonium players, and some of the best musicians I know are euphonium players.

That being said, I heard a father make a comment regarding his family: "If you can't be mocked, you can't be a part of this family."

So here we go:


"Did that euphonium come with a baton?"


How do you get a euphonium player to play FF?
Write "pp espressivo" on their part.


Why don't euphonium players play hide and seek?
No one would bother looking for them.



Please add your favorites!

What did the euphonium say to the tuba?









































Nothing. Euphoniums are inanimate objects and can not speak.

Root level talk in the low brass section:

Me Tuba, you Phonium!

djwpe wrote:What's the definition of "optimist"?

A euphonium player with a business card.

Hmm... seems this one has been modified. Used to be "a euphonium player with a 'pager'".
____________

What does a professional euphonium player (who doesn't play in a military band) say when he gets to his main gig?


Would you like fries with that?

What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead euphonium player?




The snake was on his way to a gig.

A euphonium is a baritone you spent a lot of money for...

DG

Euphonium - a public pay phone booth in ancient Rome. (Alright, alright. Stop groaning.)

OK I'll try.....

What happened when 1/2 of the n ran out on the euphonium? Something was created capable of generating intense pleasure! Get it?

(Local news story)
Man brings euphonium to an orchestra performance of pictures at an exhibition to play bydlo. The next day he was found unconscious in the park band shell.The end.

Guy drives to New York and leaves his car unlocked with his euphonium in the back seat.
When he comes back to his car (you guessed it) his car is filled with euphoniums.

You know a Euphorium is sort of like the old Orgasmatron from Woody Allen's Sleeper!

Whew...good thing I play baritone saxhorn... : )

windshieldbug wrote:Guy drives to New York and leaves his car unlocked with his euphonium in the back seat.
When he comes back to his car (you guessed it) his car is filled with euphoniums.

Modified:

Guy drives to New York and leaves his car unlocked with his euphonium in the back seat.
When he comes back he finds euphonium on the curb and his car gone.

What's the difference between a euphonium player and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four.

(Recycled, I'm sure, but that's the way it was told to me.)

What do you call a euphonium in the South? A euallphonium.

sugawi wrote:

windshieldbug wrote:Guy drives to New York and leaves his car unlocked with his euphonium in the back seat.
When he comes back to his car (you guessed it) his car is filled with euphoniums.

Modified:

Guy drives to New York and leaves his car unlocked with his euphonium in the back seat.
When he comes back he finds euphonium on the curb and his car gone.

Best one yet!

bloke wrote:A euphonium quartet was hired by a Catholic church to play an Oktoberfest gig.

They had some cute arrangements, and at at the end while they were packing up the rector came up to them told them what a great job they had done, and assured them that they would be hired back the following year.

The leader of the group responded, "Wow. That's great! ...May we leave our instruments here?"

And they left their instruments there...

sugawi wrote:

bloke wrote:A euphonium quartet was hired by a Catholic church to play an Oktoberfest gig.

They had some cute arrangements, and at at the end while they were packing up the rector came up to them told them what a great job they had done, and assured them that they would be hired back the following year.

The leader of the group responded, "Wow. That's great! ...May we leave our instruments here?"

And they left their instruments there...

"We aim to please -- you aim, too, please!

Interesting idea......standing bidet?

While warming up my euphonium before band rehearsal started, I said to the ensemble's baritone sax player "You call that thing a saxophone?" He replied "You call that thing a tuba?" Well anyway, I thought it was funny. Certainly shut me up.