Tubist on Steroids

brianf · Post by **brianf** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 5:03 pm

Just got back from the doctor for a followup to last's week's bronchitis. He wanted to know if I wanted to blow it off the fast way or slow way - of course I took the fast way. He put me on steroids and told me I can play my horn!

I need to know what playing a tuba on steroids is like. In the Olympics (and trumpet playing) it would be faster, higher & louder. For the tuba could it be lower, slower and softer? If my head gets enlarged, will I develop the ego of a trumpet player and go to shows playing every mouthpiece to try to hit a triple high G?

I'm on for a week - is this the time to find an opera company doing the entire Ring cycle and go for it? How about just the loudest 1812 overture? Maybe just a circus band? Could this be the week I blow Gene Pokorny's socks off and play his gigs instead of fixing his computer?

Maybe I should play my horn so loud to piss off the entire city of Chicago so they might do a trade - maybe to Baltimore for Fedderly? That can make up for them getting Sammy Sosa for a couple minor leagers. Maybe I should just write a tell all book and do an interview on 60 minutes.

Decisions, decisions - I'm on them for a week and they are even legal. What would you do if you were a tubist on steroids for a week?

TubaRay · Post by **TubaRay** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 5:06 pm

brianf wrote:What would you do if you were a tubist on steroids for a week?

Chill out!

TexTuba · Post by **TexTuba** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 5:10 pm

Joe Baker · Post by **Joe Baker** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 5:24 pm

TexTuba wrote:I hear your main slide shrinks.

Yeah, but you can get that 'miniball' linkage you've been wanting!
_____________________________
Joe Baker, who thinks the answer to the original question is, 'rent yourself out to fix sagging floor joists by playing in the basement'.

Dylan King · Post by **Dylan King** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 5:25 pm

Steroids are great. But if you become a great player, they may put an asterix by your name.

Aaaaargh!

WoodSheddin · Post by **WoodSheddin** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 5:45 pm

bloke wrote:Have you considered the National Sousaphone Open?

Where is it hosted?

sean "one of the highest paid fulltime Sousaphone operators in the country" chisham

brianf · Post by **brianf** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 7:37 pm

If I did the National Sousaphone Open, I'd have to do it right. What would be the tubists' version of a corked bat? Gotta cheat right!

ai698 · Post by **ai698** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 7:46 pm

What would be the tubists' version of a corked bat? Gotta cheat right!

This:

Dylan King · Post by **Dylan King** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 8:07 pm

ai698 wrote:
What would be the tubists' version of a corked bat? Gotta cheat right!
This:

Fantastic! A tuba fit for Sammy Sosa.

Daryl Fletcher · Post by **Daryl Fletcher** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 8:27 pm

Arkietuba · Post by **Arkietuba** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 8:50 pm

To actually answer the question...I have had a few instances when I was sick or had a skin problem that required steroids (once for a 3 week period). I had no problem in my playing, if it did effect me it was a positive effect. The only negative was that I ate about 2-3 times what I normally do (if there is such a thing as eating too much).

Lee Stofer · Post by **Lee Stofer** » Tue Mar 01, 2005 12:41 pm

Brian,
The dermatologist has had me occasionally do the 5- or 6-day regimen of steroids to keep my hands from falling apart, and I'll offer you this advice - just try as much as possible to stay on an even keel. You might feel like superman for a couple of days, but I also normally feel like I have almost constant heartburn, and after they wear off, you may feel like just going into hiding or staying in bed for two days, too. Also, the Dr. warned me that, although the steroids really speed up healing, they can tend to supress your immune system, too, so try to take really good care of yourself for the next few days. And if you are sick with bronchitis, you really do not need to be playing, young man. . . I really prefer normal, God-given testosterone levels to using the synthetic stuff!

Dan Schultz · Post by **Dan Schultz** » Tue Mar 01, 2005 1:46 pm

bloke wrote:

I LOVE seeing sousaphones with their main bows exposed directly to concrete/asphalt

It makes the repair industry soooo interesting

brianf · Post by **brianf** » Wed Mar 02, 2005 12:11 pm

So far things are OK - my hat still fits.

I've played a few rehersals but what they are putting on the stand does not let me take it easy - Tch #5, Nabucco, Tch Romeo & Juliet and Prok Romeo & Juliet. The problem is playing this with a reduced vital capacity. Eventually, when things totally clear out I'll hit the breathing toys and get myself out of the habit of a diminished breath - this is a big problem for wind players who go through respiratory problems! It can be cleared out quickly.

While having a few blowers on the schedule, the phone has not been ringing with opera companies needing someone to play the Ring. A couple guys are avoiding me - either Gene Pokorny has solved his broadband problem (after 5 phone calls the other day - he did not want to see my face or bronchitis) or he's chicken to see a steroid-lace tuba player. He's not very good on the computer so I think he's chicken. Fedderly does not appreciate being the tuba player to be named later for the Sammy Sosa deal. Personally, I like Sammy and his steroids in Baltimore and would rather watch the Sammyless Cubs (addition by subtraction). I did work on Floyd Cooley's computer yesterday - he doesn't play much so wasn't intimidated by a tuba player on steroids. At least he's making a leap out of the Mac world!

So, here it is - the continuing saga, started with nose surgery, developed into bronchitis and hopefully this is the end!

UDELBR · Post by **UDELBR** » Wed Mar 02, 2005 12:55 pm

brianf wrote: The problem is playing this with a reduced vital capacity.

Ask your doc about Ventolin. Opens up chest constriction like magic, and very few side effects.

Tabor · Post by **Tabor** » Wed Mar 02, 2005 1:01 pm

brianf wrote:

So, here it is - the continuing saga, started with nose surgery, developed into bronchitis and hopefully this is the end!

I hope that it isn't THAT bad!

-Tabor

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