Funniest thing that has ever happened on stage.....

[Tubaryan12]

In high school I played bass trombone in the jazz band. This group also has a vocal component as well as a dance group. One young lady in the dance group....lets just say she would make my eyes glaze over to the point where the director would openly laugh at me when she entered the room. Anyway, during one of our performances while the dancers were performing I fell into my usual "trance" and while playing threw my trombone slide off of the horn and it slid right through the line of dancers . Luckily for me I always traveled with 2 bass bones so I set the 1st one down and started playing the second.

[adam0408]

This isnt funny, its more tragic. Once when I was about to go onstage to perform with my low brass quartet, I knocked my brand new mouthpiece out of my tuba and it hit the floor, denting the end of it in by a lot. That wasnt the worst part, because it made a really loud noise because the entrance to the stage in our recital hall is bare concrete. The group that was playing before us had a very quiet piece, so I think everyone in the audience heard it. I then proceeded to suck it up onstage. Not one of my proudest moments. Danny Boy will live on in infamy for me.

A side note: I played the same quartet piece some time later and absolutely killed it, so that made me feel better.

I also remember in high school my pep band was playing for a volleyball game, and one of the tubas did an end over end fall all the way down the bleachers. My director was quite shocked and appalled.

[bigboom]

I was at football halftime this las year doing our show for one of our first football games of the year. We had one move that we knelt on the ground and put our sousies down to do a dance, just this time when the kid next to me knelt I hear a funny noise and on the next move when he went in front of me I couldn't help but notice that he only had one pant leg. He marched the last half of the show with only one pant leg still up and the other around his ankle.

Ben

[dmmorris]

Witnessed Daniel Grabois of the Meridian Arts Ensemble squish a very stout cockroach during a concert on stage at ECU in North Carolina. The poor thing had been dancing to the music throughout most of the second set. After the encore, Dan brought out a napkin in an effort to drape the carnage.


The music still rocked!

http://www.meridianartsensemble.com/

[JayW]

Watched a trombonists in an orchestra rehearsal sit down in his chair, lean back a little and then proceed to fall right off the back of the risers we were on........ Now it was funny only because both he and instrument did not get damaged.....but now for the funny part........ A few weeks later in our Band concert the same "person" did the exact same thing. This time the conductor had to stop rehearsal for several minutes while most of us laughed our way to passing out. .....once again nothing or no one was hurt.

[Gorilla Tuba]

I was playing in the Pit Orchestra for Rigoletto (Nevada Opera - subbing for Russ Dickman). During an intermission I was savoring a cup of coffee for a little too long. The hall lights went out and I was not back in my seat yet. As I huried to my chair the spot light shined on me and the audience clapped (thinking I was the conductor returning). I took a bow and the audience chuckled. No harm done, but it was certainly unwanted applause. I was hired again at a later date.

[Will]

For those with a strong stomach...

During a jazz band concert in high school, our lead trumpet got sick during the middle of a number. Instead of running off stage or trying to hide, he proceeded to lose his dinner all over the back curtain! He then tried to finish the number just before a band parent came from back stage to escort him off.


-heads

[Tom Holtz]

The march: "Black Jack."
The tuba player: Tom Lyckberg, a.k.a. "Creature."
The setting: a runout gig in some hotel in downtown D.C., all of maybe a dozen people in the room at this point.

It was a simple runout job; play some marches until everyone at the event is assembled, then march in the colors, play the National Anthem, etc. It's early, and hardly anyone is in this big ballroom at this point. The drum major calls up "Black Jack" and says, "Once through is enough. Don't take the d.c." As in da capo. As in don't repeat the thing, play it to the end and stop.

The Creature misses this last bit.

The band chugs along right down to the bottom of the page, plays the last note, and everything is fine until Creature brings it back to the top, by himself, at band-burying volume. Everybody else just freezes in their chair, because he killed it. Hit it over the bleachers and out of the park. Sank the eight ball. Ka-freakin'-boom.

Understand, by the way, that the beginning of "Black Jack", which is a march in 6/8, is a dotted quarter note followed by repeated eighth notes, fanfare style, all on F at the bottom of the staff. Creature is at this point sitting on that first F at about quadruple-forte, all by himself, and has to figure out an exit strategy. He decides on the spot to work a nice fade-out on the eighth notes in front of him...

BAAAAAH, BAH Bah Bah bah buh bu bu b...

Just like in the cartoons, the drum major's head slowly swivels around to the Creature, as the beet red coloring slowly rises from his chin past his eyeballs to his scalp. Then the corners of the drum major's mouth started crinkling upward, and he had to turn away so the Creature wouldn't see him laughing. I hid behind my horn and started to weep. Creature looks at me, a little abashedly, and asks, "That was a classic, wasn't it?"

It sure was, Creature.

[chevy68chv]

I was at a concert of the San Francisco Symphony last summer and the principal bass' instrument fell of the stage while people were warming up. Not so much funnyas it was tragic, they carried it off in pieces.

[kegmcnabb]

My band Skumbaag was commissioned by the University of New Mexico several years ago to compose and perform the music for a production of Shakespeare's "Measure for Measure." The production was set present day and the music was contemporary, the typical Skumbaag mixture of rock riffs and 20th century compositional techniques (ala Varese, Stockhausen, and Cage). During a prison scene, our drummer DUG, while sitting on a hard wooden platform, decides to let fly with a huge "air biscuit," (uuhm...a fart, OK?). Extremely loud, it provoked guffaws from the audience. All I could do was set down my horn and stare at the floor while trying not to laugh. When I finally felt I had my sh*t together (so to speak) I glanced up to see all the prisoners quaking together in silent laughter in a beautiful theatrical silhouette. I had to resume my floor staring.

Actually, the show had another funny moment when two nights before, seconds before the curtain, my bass guitar slipped off its strap and smacked me directly in the schnozz, forcing me to take the stage with wads of tissue stuck up my nostrils to stop the flow of blood all over my costume.

Who says Shakespeare is boring?!?

[Randy Beschorner]

A number of years ago I was lead trombone in the back up band of a nationally touring show featuring a singing cast of about 150. We were performing in the Cotton Bowl, Dallas, TX before a crowd of about 7,000 including billionaire H. L. Hunt. The brass was responsible for starting up the second half of the show and as the head of the brass it was my job to lead them back on stage. Because we were on the football field we had used every bit of staging we had. The brass was at the top of the risers, but we needed to enter from the back, so to get to our seats I had to step on a chair, then a table, then a block on the table and finally a second chair before stepping up to the top riser to go down to my seat.

I made it through the chair, the table, the block and second chair without incident, but when I went to step on the riser, the second chair gave out. I ended up going down the whole set of risers head first on my belly. Stands are falling, chairs are collapsing, and music is flying everywhere. Half way down on my ride I vaguely hear the audience gasp. Finally landing at the bottom of the stage, I’m beaten and bruised. I look at my trombone and it’s shaped like a pretzel.

I figured the only way to regain my dignity was to try to convince the audience that this was a planned pratfall, so with much ache and pain I got up to take a bow – only to discover that I had split out my pants from the zipper to the back belt loop.

Somehow, I haven’t been embarrassed since.

[tubeast]

I used to join this youth wind band in Essen, Germany. One day we were to play on a stage at a market place. Usually we would meed at band room, load all the gear on our cars and drive to the gigs. (no bus, usually). So we get to that market place, get ready to perform, when suddenly somebody finds out we didn´t bring our boxes with the music. So while two of us raced back to band room to get the notes, we had to start playing because of the contract. So we ended up playing all the short pieces we knew by heart, like American Patrol, Tiger Rag, a March-Walz medley and the likes, taking HUGE breaks between pieces. After half an hour we got the music and finally could do what we were paid for.

[tubatooter1940]

We played this bar on Gulf Beach Highway three nights a week for two years.It had a nice country clientele who were loyal bacause we took the trouble to learn thier favorite tunes.We had a formula of playing a sexy ballad (Easy Lovin') followed by an eight minute driving rock tune (Freebird).This combination resulted in a crowd drinking the bar dry but leaving fairly sober because they danced so much.Happy was the boss!
After the band warning managrment the cockroaches were quickly taking the place over no extermination took place.
After playing there two years,the customers learned my old trick of having the bartender send me a coke when they bought us a round,so they would buy a round of whatever and set it on my amp and stand there 'til We drank it.One night this large fellow sat three whiskys on my amp and said,"You WILL drink with me."Well,I get huge hangovers but it seemed the right thing to do at the time.
Around midnight,two nice couples were having steaks in a booth to my left.On the wall was a huge roach walking down toward these people who were thrugh eating and were having drinks.When we ended the song,the roach was at thier eye level but they hadn't spotted it yet.
I parked my guitar and took off my left shoe.I ran to the booth,leaped across the table,dishes and glasses flying,and smacked that roach with all my might.The two couples were amused,management was nowhere to be found,and we played out the evening and had a good time.
20 years later,my wife,grandson and I visited the same building,which is now a discount store but the layout was strangely the same as when it was a supper club.I walked to the wall where the old booth used to be,
and there under the new paint was the outline of the roach-twice as large as life.He's still there!

tubatooter1940

[windshieldbug]

I remember being down in the restroom, hearing a piece start, thinking "wow, this has a cool tuba part", then thinking "oh crap! I'm the tuba!", running upstairs, grabbing my horn, and going out on stage and playing while I was sitting down as I had to come in (good thing the tuba is back with the trombones). The worst part is, I'm not sure the music director knew what was going on as he looked up to cue me...

[jaredsan]

We had our marching band seniors (there were 5) perform the show all by themselves on the field.

Our show incorperated beautiful ballet-style dancing from a member of the guard, dancing around members of a motionless (at that point in the show) band... But she was a freshman.

Our hugest tuba player was glad to oblige -_-

I think we laughed for 20 minutes

[Joe Baker]

Goody, we get to include marching band!!

My HS marching band, nearly 30 years ago, was doing this entry where we came diagonally down and across the field. The freshmen were in front, because once we got to the front hashmark we were to countermarch, putting the older students at the front for the rest of the show. Welllll... the field was marked with pro hashmarks, which are closer together. The young and inexperienced players hit the front hashmark way earlier than they were supposed to, and a lot of them just stopped. The older students ran into them before we knew what had happened. Within seconds, we were all just standing on the field, looking at each other and trying to figure out what to do next. The drum major finally just kind of 'shoo-ed' us all off the field, and we went back up to the stands.

Another one that I didn't see but I heard about, and years later when I met my wife I learned that she DID see: in Texas, schools have 'drill teams' which are sort of like dance teams, but the dances are more like something the Rockettes would do. They usually wear a short skirt with a huge poofy petticoat, and boots and gloves, and usually some kind of hat. This particular half-time show, the girls did a routine where they brought out blue & gold trashcans full of balloons, which they danced around, and occasionally sat on to do kick routines. At a climactic point in the dance, they yanked off the lids, releasing helium-filled balloons. Then, they put the lids back on and danced around the cans some more. Unfortunately, one young lady lost her grip on the lid when she yanked it off, and it went sailing. Of course you don't go chasing down dropped equipment in a situation like that, you just muddle on and do the best you can as though it didn't happen. So she pantomimed replacing the lid, danced around the can,... Until they came to the place in the dance where they were, again, to sit on the can and do high kicks. This girl leaned on the rim, doing the best she could to get throught the routine -- but the rim collapsed, and down she went, butt first, into the trashcan, leaving nothing visible but a pair of gloves and a pair of boots, waving and kicking frantically!
_______________________________
Joe Baker, who wishes video cameras had been more commonplace back then....

[Joe Baker]

Yeah, down here, we have a bunch of those types of bands. ... drumline playing their brains out, and the rest of the band just "bootey dancing." ...

Nooooo.... that's not what I'm talking about. The drill team isn't part of the band; usually they're not even on speaking terms. The band grudgingly plays one song for the drill team, which is comprised of the football team's girlfriends. Also, the drill team is usually a particularly 'white' (talking about style, not actual racial makeup) activity.

If you've ever seen the Kilgore Rangerettes, you know what I'm talking about; if you haven't, then it'll be hard to explain it.

Here's an example of a drill team:

___________________________
Joe Baker, who has enjoyed the fact that Tennessee doesn't seem to have drill teams.

[mTaUrBkA]

Using a crappy school fiberglass tuba with the bell duct taped on (not where the bells detachable), the duct tape decide to give out...and the bell came crashing down right in front of me. It surprised me quite a bit, so there was a a little scream in the middle of the quietest part in hey jude. Luckily it was just a practice!

[Arkietuba]

Yeah, down here, we have a bunch of those types of bands. They call themselves marching bands, but all they do is go out, wering "gangster" uniforms, blast like 2 quarter notes, and one obnoxiously loud whole note. They do that twice, and the rest of the time, its just drumline playing their brains out, and the rest of the band just "bootey dancing." The "official" name for these bands are show band, but thet refuse to be called that, and they, for some reason, highly consider dancing like they do in a rap videos, "traditional" marching band. I just dont know why

Hey...they deserve as much respect as any DCI band. A lot of people (including me) happen to find that very entertaining and like that music as well. Sometimes it's not about the tone or pitch, it's about show and they put on a show. They work just as hard if not harder than most "traditional" bands and they deserve the same amount of respect.

[Benjamin]

We had just played Richard Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries." I stood up when I was reqonized for my solo and while standing droped my Tuba front stage center. It got so quiet you could here a pin drop. Luckly it was the schools Tuba.