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Mine's not that bad, probably funniest from my side...

Soon after I moved to Chicago I played bass trombone with a group that I had some misgivings about but hey- I wanted to play! The song was In the Hall of Mountain King. Rehearsals went ok but all the bow jockeys fell apart during the concert. I remember the conductor frantically, pleadingly waving his arms and they were all roughly around a measure behind. About 2/3-3/4 of the way through I decided to ignore everyone else, follow only the conductor, and (why the hell not) start cranking my part an octave down. The last 30 or so measures were "interesting"...

Oh, let's just say, in Mission Impossible jargon, that, "The Secretary disavowed all knowledge of my actions."

Euclid Symphony Orchestra performed Copland's Fanfare for the Common Man. Let's just say when the percussion is guessing, this piece never turns out well.

Wow, depends on how you define worst.

I was in a choral support orchestra where one movement got akilter. But the director stopped, turned to the audience and took the blame and restarted. It went fine from there.

Have been in a faculty brass quintet concert where we outnumbered the audience 5 to 3. That was kind of sad but essentially a misunderstanding.

Playing brass at a college show, the choir came in after getting their pitch from the tenor soloist who was wrong. When the brass entered, well, the choir had to adjust rather quickly.

proam wrote:Wow, depends on how you define worst.

...

where we outnumbered the audience 5 to 3

That's my benchmark, band members outnumbering the audience. Doesn't happen often... but it's certainly happened.

.

GregTuba79 wrote:Playing bass guitar with an electric Piano player (duets) on oldies (Elvis, Frank Sinatra,and light classic rock hits set to muzak style) for a convalescent home for only $50/piece. There was about 5 people in the room and half of them were drooling, shaking, or yelling about something. I don't even know if they knew we were there..there was also supposed to be a comedy routine between me and the other guy in between each tune for some laughs. Nothing but crickets...so bad it forced me to pick up the Tuba again LOL

What? Quit?

I wish you guys would make up your mind.

Otherwise I gotta call Mr Ronzini at the Holiday Inn to get our old gig back.

Back at the Armada Room?



Me??

5, 6, 7 and 8th grade.

Every Fall and Spring.

Middle School band.

Painful.

Mr. Humphrey was a saint!!

Opening season at at community ball park with a community band. A guest singer was to sing Take Me Out to the Ballpark. Band rehearsed, but without singer. Our director had the band run through the piece, by ear, in F and C . . . one of those keys surely would work. The plan was to ask what key (or at least what opening pitch) the singer wanted, play the last four bars as an intro in the closest key, and then singer joins in. What could go wrong?

At the venue, the singer didn't wait for the intro and started in his own key, which was not F or C. Some band members thought they could make it work in F, some in C, some tried to adjust to the singer's key. No need to describe the result.

Hup

bloke wrote:You keep calling out measure numbers, and they keep not finding them in time.

It's worse if the person lost is also conducting...

As my friend Paul Loucas says, I forget every wrong note the moment after I play it.

A band director friend offered:
"Reminds me of a time when a certain group was playing the National Anthem in Ab...but one of the trumpets couldn't find his music, so he played it how he remembered it - in Bb. By "the rockets red glare," the band had modulated to Bb...but the first strain was TERRIBLE."

windshieldbug wrote:

bloke wrote:You keep calling out measure numbers, and they keep not finding them in time.

It's worse if the person lost is also conducting...

I guess the audience might find that distracting.

Maybe not the worst, overall, but the funniest.

I was singing in a concert of opera choruses and when we got to the Anvil chorus, it became obvious that the percussionist assigned the ANVIL part fell asleep...like dreaming, drooling sleep.

After attempts by some of the musicians to wake him with a "psssst" or gentle nudge, One of the other musicians walked over & gave him a hearty smack, as the entrance for that exposed, steady, loud anvil "solo" had been missed.

Waking out of this deep sleep & in a state of general stupor, the guy nearly fell off his chair. Now five or six measures behind and still half dreaming but hearing the music, he panicked & just started whacking the heck out of the anvil, way too fast and with no discernable meter, like he was getting paid per note & trying to catch up.

I was so impressed that so many of the orchestra pros were able to continue without completely cracking up, but it was indeed difficult for everyone who saw what was going on to maintain composure.

I haave two very bad moments playing in orchestra so far. The first one was when we played with the university orchestra. We were playing the Danzon No.2 from Marquez. It was all quite nice,until we reached the trumpet solo. The trumpet player was so sure on the rehearsals that no one even thought that he will miss it. He didn't even count,he played it like we was supposed to follow him,no tempo,no metric,no rhythm..nothing. At one moment, we all stopped and the conductor gave sign to the trumpets to continue. It all went good from there,but the trumpet solo was all messed. The worst thing is that the trumpet player didn't even knew what went bad,until the conductor showed where he went wrong.

My personal worst playing was Overture to Rome and Juliet. I got panic attack during all concert and at the and,I messed the "H(B)" that I played only with the timpani. I was so ashamed of myself,I didn't even went celebrating after the concert. Went straight back home and listened records on youtube.)

I've been in performances with choruses, bands, and small ensembles that have fallen apart, almost always because the conductor missed a cue or a meter change. Most of the time the conductor stopped, picked a spot, and restarted. Only a couple of times did the conductor bull ahead, and in only one of those cases did the band pull back together.

Once during a big band gig, half the band had up a 3/4 tune in Eb and the other half had a 2/2 tune in F. We started, and the director did not stop us for more than a minute. He had called up a tune and then changed it very quietly, and half the band didn't hear him.

Quite possibly the one I'm headed to right now.

And, it nearly lived up to my fears.

Worst performances musically? Everything I've ever played as part of a marching band (except for two occasions) were pretty horrible. Also, some stuff I did in middle school and early on in high school were really terrible. What's really sad is that those venues were packed with the audience, and they loved it.

Later on in life, I had the privilege of playing with some of the best musicians in the country. Those performances had hardly anyone in the audience. . . It was pretty sad.