Burned out on tuba

[Rick Denney]

Yes, play in amateur groups, but do hustle up something that's real enough to get gigs on merit, pay for gas money etc. You won't have to sit next to anyone, you'll probably be standing up and you'll surely be the only bass. You'll be appreciated not just by band mates, but by an audience who came to hear the music. My experience is somewhat contrary to what was reported above - the tuba is in fact a compelling audience attraction when played by a reasonably presentable young man (not me.)

By which you measure the value of making music on the basis of earning money. There are, of course, excellent mostly amateur musicians out there, despite my joke about having to be willing to sit next to me.

But that wasn't the point. The point is not about what music does for us, which is ultimately selfish and unsatisfying. The point is about using music to express something for others, for their benefit. In giving music, we get satisfaction and sometimes money. But the attitude of giving is what makes the getting possible. People love music whether or not they are willing to pay for it, and people love expressing music whether or not somebody is willing to pay them for it. Play for love, not money, even if you are getting paid. You don't hustle so that you can get paid, you hustle so that you can continue to offer music. But once you have a day job that pays well enough and that you enjoy doing, you have freed yourself from using money to evaluate your value as a musician, and if you use getting paid as a measure of the value of playing music, you put yourself at risk.

Rick "valuing gigs and valuing music-playing are two different things" Denney

[pwhitaker]

Donn: " - the tuba is in fact a compelling audience attraction when played by a reasonably presentable young man" ... or even a fat sloppy old man like me. People, particularly little children, are fascinated by tubas and sousaphones. That EEb you have would certainly be a crowd pleaser just because of its outlandish size (and world class tone).

[Three Valves]

Donn: " - the tuba is in fact a compelling audience attraction when played by a reasonably presentable young man" ... or even a fat sloppy old man like me.

That was me 30yrs ago, see avatar...

[chronolith]

This is precisely why I stopped playing for money. I discovered that burnout (which I did a couple of times) had very little to do with the instrument I was playing and more to do with the situation I was playing in. Some examples:

- Playing for money knowing that the money was all you were doing it for
- Playing in any group where you feel like you did your part to prepare and others just don't bother or sigtread their way through every rehearsal (if they show up at all)
- Groups who hold on to bad musicians because they have been around a long time or because they serve some administrative purpose
- Losing time with friends and family and letting it gnaw on you while you are playing
- Playing the same $#!& year in and year out
- Showing up for a rehearsal just because you feel responsible for the low end and don't feel anyone else cares enough
- Not having the ability to say no when someone asks you to sub
- Long drives, crap parking, crap conductors, crap rehearsal space, crap performance space, crap rep, musicians with too much cologne/perfume, musicians with too little cologne/perfume, admin drama, group money problems, etc.

I began to measure the quality of my time on the horn as a ratio of sufficient musical challenge to burden of commitment. For many of those groups the number was less than 1. I stopped playing in those groups.

There are things you can do about it of course (some of which have already been wisely mentioned).

- Just stop playing tuba for a while. Oil up those valves and store it. Don't let anybody make you feel bad about it either. You might just be saving your tuba-life in the process.
- Throw off the yolk of any tuba related responsibilities you might have. Sub out your commitments. This alone might be enough to remind you why you started playing in the first place.
- Take up another instrument. And I don't mean Euphonium. Get as far away from brass as you can. Take up the drums or guitar or something.
- Get some tuba lessons. Maybe part of your unhappiness playing is coming from a disconnect between your intentions and your product on the tuba. That can be very frustrating and demoralizing.
- Start a chamber group with some kind of clear goal (master all the ewald quintets, everybody contributes their own arrangements, an all brass Stevie Wonder tribute quintet, whatever you want). Don't just get together and sightread CB beginner books.

It's not a nice place to be in burnout land. Gotta shake it up and get back to the place where you fell in love in the first place. Don't think of it as stopping something you don't enjoy, but rather prioritizing and pursuing something ELSE that you do enjoy. If it was meant to be then you will find the urge again, but if not you will be enjoying something else instead and will have no need for guilt or pressure about it.

[Tubaryan12]

The only gigs that I really look forward to are
- those where some good friends are playing as well

What he said....and honestly, I enjoy rehearsal much more than the gig.

[Gongadin]

If you're feeling burned out, then by all means take a break from all things tuba for a while. Maybe even give TubeNet a pass for a bit. You may be feeling overwhelmed by a number of factors, as others have stated. You may be overwhelmed by the fact that you have a dozen or so tubas sitting in storage. When you take a break, concentrate on other aspects of your life. After a while you'll see if your tuba passion calls to you, or you may find that you feel free and unencumbered without tubas in your life.
I agree that you should not put your tubas up for sale at the present time (unless you know that certain instruments are definitely not for you). Give it a while - if you want to sell them in a few months from now after taking a break from the instrument, then that might be the right thing for you to do. You'll only know this by taking some time to step back and reflect, and put your priorities in perspective.
I agree with the point that Bloke made too about finding an instrument that's easy to play and easy to play in tune. Perhaps after you take a break from the tuba, if the instrument calls you back and you decide to continue being a tubist, you could simplify your life by choosing an instrument that frees you from everything except experiencing the joy of music. Odd or unique instruments are fun, but not if they're a chore to play and you have to fight their idiosyncrasies to play them.
Do what's best for you, Ian - your physical and mental health are the most important things to concentrate on.

[adam0408]

Click through the bios of symphony players and you'll find a wide list of interests outside of the primary instrument: player A is a triathelete, player B an ordained minister, C has a side real estate business, D is an amateur magician, etc. etc.

When we're young it's so hard to carve out an identity. Finding an instrument can seem to satisfy every need that we have in life for those unsteady years of early adulthood. We cling to our identity as "tuba players" and slide into institutions that reward our obsession with our instrument and plan for a career. It's a well-worn path that others have walked before. That's the problem. Every now and then you need to shake things up and examine your life or you risk living the consequences of decisions that were not made by you consciously.

"Burnout" may be bad for your career in the short-term, but it's normal and healthy for your life in the long-term, and you should pay attention to that feeling. It's your mind's unconscious way of telling you that your actions and your desires are mis-aligned, and you need to re-examine your life and the role that the instrument is going to play in it, and perhaps find a way to build more variety into your life if you decide to return to the instrument "for life" (like the symphony players I listed at the top).

I agree. Defining yourself in relation to music can be a very disappointing thing, because the nature of music and being a musician is such that at some point you will have your heart and your dreams stepped on and broken. If you choose to be a musician on any semblance of a professional level, it is very likely you will experience a very great deal of disappointment and heartbreak. You can never expect to realize all of your goals and aspirations. That is why it is important to realize that music is simply something that you do. It does not define your worth as a human being on this planet.

I'll share my personal story in hopes that it may help someone...

I graduated with my master's degree in music performance eight years ago. For various reasons, after school I moved to a town in a very unpopulated part of the country. Part of the cause of packing up and moving to the boonies a thousand miles away was stress. Part of it was because of some failures in my personal life that were completely out of my control. The stress was due to finishing my masters paper and recital all in one semester, which I do not recommend after having been through it. The personal issues had to do with girls, as is common with a man in his mid-twenties.

When I moved to this town I've been living in since, I began playing with the local college/community band. It was a very frustrating experience, since I went directly from playing very dense and challenging literature to playing many of the pieces I played late in middle school and early high school. It was a shock to my system, and I got bored with that immediately. I initially thought I would hang out and play just to keep my reading chops up, but the music was such that I could have sight read it on the concert and played it just as well as if I had been at all the rehearsals. I'm not bragging, and I don't judge the level of players in that group, I'm just stating facts. That was the level of the ensemble, and I just couldn't do it anymore. It wasn't worth my time and I was getting pissed off at every rehearsal because I was bored and the flute section would take ten minutes to tune to within a quarter step of each other.

So what happened was I just kind of stopped playing. I had no other groups to play with and no motivation. I had a lot of regret and anger about it for a while. I was mad at myself for wasting my time with my degree that I never use. I was mad at the collegiate world because there are virtually no jobs I'm qualified for. I was generally angry because I didn't know what I was doing with my life, I had a large amount of debt accumulated for what I saw as no reason, and I wasn't making any personal or financial progress.

Since those times when I was fresh out of school, I have struggled to find my identity. I've gone through a lot of mental anguish because of this struggle to find my place in the world, and a lot of it has to do with my relationship with music and being a musician. Now I'm doing better. I think I've found some semblance of sanity in the murky madness that has been my life in the past few years. I still gig on my tuba about once or twice a month, but I rarely practice. I don't really need or want to. That is okay. I have no delusions that I will ever have a symphony job or come close to making a majority of my living playing tuba or doing something music related. That is also okay. I may come back to being more serious about it in the future, but I don't know what the future holds, and that is okay.

I play electric bass in a band that I have a lot of fun with, and that has been holding much of my musical interest and energy in the past year or two. It made me like being a musician again because it is fun and challenging and different than tuba. I also have much less pressure on myself because I don't have the weight of my education resting on my shoulders.

I do have to say that it is really nice not having to rely on music to pay the bills. I look at it as purely supplemental income, so I can pick and choose who I play with and what I play. I have the luxury of saying no to people that I don't want to play with. I think this is the only thing that has saved me from selling off all of my equipment and never playing again. I have freedom. I can do what I want because music does not make my decisions for me.

So to sum up and address the concerns of the OP in regards to my experience, I have to say this: Take some time. Figure out what music means to you and what you want out of it. Don't sell your horns just yet. It is okay to have a spell where you're not inspired, because you will most likely find something later to inspire you and make everything fresh again. That is the beauty of music. It is a problem with no solution, and you can approach it however you like and define your own boundaries and goals.

Keep your head up and remember that your abilities related to music do not define who you are.

[Three Valves]

The personal issues had to do with girls, as is common with a man in his mid-twenties.

That, and the curse of strong drink.

I don't know which is worse/better??

[adam0408]

The personal issues had to do with girls, as is common with a man in his mid-twenties.

That, and the curse of strong drink.

I don't know which is worse/better??

I've had both problems, often in concert with one another. I would not recommend either one.

Also to the people who "don't like the sound of tuba by itself" why the heck would you choose to play tuba if you don't like the sound?? I mean, how do you even practice or evaluate your own sound if it doesn't appeal to you in the first place?

[Donn]

Well, "like" is not a very precise term. I don't mind hearing a bit of my tuba sounds, but ... music isn't really about producing agreeable tones, it's a connection to whatever mysterious faculty of the brain hears melodies and rhythms. There's a gentleman who shows up at one of the local farmers markets with a classical guitar, nicely amplified so it carries over the small crowd, and he plays it with a casual skill, large repertoire of classical and others from memory. It's gorgeous, sometimes almost overwhelming, and I'm sure nearly everyone there hears it that way.

Now there's an instrument that can stand on its own! But I bet after all the years it took him to get to that place, he is ... not exactly tired of the sound, but maybe he would like to be able to pull out a saxophone and wail a little, know what I mean?

[NeilMacQuarrie]

Well, "like" is not a very precise term. I don't mind hearing a bit of my tuba sounds, but ... music isn't really about producing agreeable tones, it's a connection to whatever mysterious faculty of the brain hears melodies and rhythms. There's a gentleman who shows up at one of the local farmers markets with a classical guitar, nicely amplified so it carries over the small crowd, and he plays it with a casual skill, large repertoire of classical and others from memory. It's gorgeous, sometimes almost overwhelming, and I'm sure nearly everyone there hears it that way.

Now there's an instrument that can stand on its own! But I bet after all the years it took him to get to that place, he is ... not exactly tired of the sound, but maybe he would like to be able to pull out a saxophone and wail a little, know what I mean?

If music isn't about tone, why would a guitarist want to play a saxophone?

That malleable bass voice (i.e. tone) is about the only reason I still pick up the horn.

[southtubist]

There's a lot of good info in this thread on working through burnout- especially taking periodic breaks in practicing. My advice would be to have a second hobby/job that could provide income. This is because. . .

I burned out to the extent that I quit being a music major and changed schools to pursue a different degree. I was practicing a lot, and probably only a year or two away from being ready for the audition circuit. I went to study with a world class teacher, had good horns, practiced all day, had good colleagues- all the good stuff. I just got tired of playing all day long, especially sitting in ensemble rehearsals. I lost my motivation when I saw poverty as my only future.

So, I quit and switched to forestry. It's a hard field both from a physical standpoint and from a technological standpoint. I spent the last 10 weeks in the woods (8-10 hrs/day) getting cooked in the sun and shredded by briars. Then, I spent most nights behind a computer doing data analysis, GIS, or report writing. The job market is good (about 100% employment from my school) because people don't want the job. I like it, mostly because I grew up outdoors and I like the wide variety of tasks I get to do.

Ironically, I'm getting more people asking me to play gigs. I'm making more money than when I called myself a musician! It's like I can't escape my musical past! Also, playing is more fun now- I can play whatever!