Etiquette

[MaryAnn]

we have a local horn player who started taking beta blockers for everything, including rehearsals. She now blasts ear-splitting glissandos over the entire upper range of the horn for several minutes during the warmup. I guess those beta blockers are working wonders. I would like a pillow to stuff in her bell, which is in front of me, and find it necessary to put in my ear plugs before I even enter the room. Use a mute? Wow, what an idea!

We also have a new sub in the section who is likely to remain because she is the daughter in law of the conductor. I have no problem with her playing, but I did stare pointedly at her stupid phone that she was looking at during rehearsal. I haven't seen it since, so perhaps the cold stare was effective. I don't know if "don't even bring the phone with you" was on the list or not.

[kontrabass]

beta blockers for everything, including rehearsals.

I know this is getting off-topic, but - wow, I've never heard of someone taking beta blockers for the general day-to-day act of music making. Auditions and big performances, I guess I can understand, but even then I don't recommend them personally. What happens if the drug starts to lose its effectiveness over time? And this player starts to believe she "needs" them in order to play?

[Three Valves]

beta blockers for everything, including rehearsals.

I know this is getting off-topic, but - wow, I've never heard of someone taking beta blockers for the general day-to-day act of music making. Auditions and big performances, I guess I can understand, but even then I don't recommend them personally. What happens if the drug starts to lose its effectiveness over time? And this player starts to believe she "needs" them in order to play?

I believe that was included in order to emphasize the players neurosis.

She probably already believes she "needs" them in order to play, even at a rehearsal.

[Three Valves]

Here's one:
If you must talk with colleagues during a rehearsal, know how to do it quietly.

Make funny faces at your friends until they giggle and get into trouble with the director.

[daflyingtubaman]

Here's one:
If you must talk with colleagues during a rehearsal, know how to do it quietly.

Make funny faces at your friends until they giggle and get into trouble with the director.

Play with the bass trombonist's triggers or trade mouthpieces with them and have a good laugh about it.

But for real, don't do what I said above.

[ufonium2]

Play with the bass trombonist's triggers or trade mouthpieces with them and have a good laugh about it.
But for real, don't do what I said above.

Once I was playing 1st trombone in a (pick-up, payed) orchestra, and the second trombone was super bothered by the fact that I don't lock my slide. One of my trombones doesn't even have a slide lock, and I never use them. I guess this guy is a band director and spends his days telling kids to lock their slides, and apparently that's really important to him, because during a rest, during the performance, he reached over and locked my slide while I wasn't looking. So I missed my next entrance because my #$!@$ slide was locked and I couldn't play.

So, don't do that.

[Three Valves]

BBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAhahahahahhaah!!

Opps.

I meant;

That must have been just awful...

[gregsundt]

I went to "music school" with Jon.

So, do we know one another? WSU 1985?

[windshieldbug]

so...

When I conductor is very (let's just say) "within themselves" and (though pd. $100-something-K/yr. or so) is only enough of a musician to hear with their eyes (and not with their ears), sees a player missing, and says "oh, so-and-so isn't here, so we don't have the such-and-such line being played" (when another player in the section had just covered that part in the immediately-previously-rehearsed passage), is it OK to laugh ?

Only if you're out in the hall AND have tenure
(or if you suddenly turn and look at the bass trombone like it was them... )

[Three Valves]

"That sounded terribIe!
The tenor section was weak."

"Wasn't our fauIt, boss.
Hermey didn't show up."

What?

[Rick Denney]

Play with the bass trombonist's triggers or trade mouthpieces with them and have a good laugh about it.
But for real, don't do what I said above.

Once I was playing 1st trombone in a (pick-up, payed) orchestra, and the second trombone was super bothered by the fact that I don't lock my slide. One of my trombones doesn't even have a slide lock, and I never use them. I guess this guy is a band director and spends his days telling kids to lock their slides, and apparently that's really important to him, because during a rest, during the performance, he reached over and locked my slide while I wasn't looking. So I missed my next entrance because my #$!@$ slide was locked and I couldn't play.

So, don't do that.

Which leads to another item of etiquette: Stay the hell away from other people's instruments. Period. Over and out.

At rehearsal: Leave your case outside the seating area. Fat chance of that taking hold; only tuba players are expected to actually do that.

Rick "get off my lawn!" Denney

[Jobey Wilson]

One of the best posts here, ever!!! I based much of my list on other wise tuba brothers' comments, and a few ammendments of my own:

1. Robert Mitchum on acting........................or tuba playing..........................or whatever.

"This is not a tough job. You read a script. If you like the part and the money is O.K., you do it. Then you remember your lines. You show up on time. You do what the director tells you to do. When you finish, you rest and then go on to the next part. That's it."

2. Jon's video...awesome!!! https://youtu.be/BIdrf-byxfk" target="_blank" target="_blank" target="_blank" target="_blank" target="_blank

3. From Ferguson, Very wise... Do nothing to make the contractor or conductor worry; their jobs are difficult enough already. (Have you ever tried herding cats?) I contract and conduct some groups around Boston...soooo true

Here are other good quotes:
- Always be early; never be late.
- Don't show off. Many players there are better than you. Sometimes all of them are.
- Try to be self aware - view your behavior and demeanor from the perspective of others. Would you like what you see?
- Don't complain about others. Yes, that viola player is not the best in town, but he's pleasant, reliable, and plays the right notes. For most contractors, that's good enough (and to add, he/she might be a dear friend who helps out in other ways to keep the group afloat!)
- Look good, and smile - it's show business. dont pack up during the appalause, you douchebag...they're paying you're check.
- If you hope to play with that group again, don't drop out and take another gig at the last minute, even if it pays more. Hmmm, tough one, choose wisely

4. If the 60+ audience that supports your ensemble is horrified by your haircut (e.g. Mohawk) fix your hair.
I'm living with this this week...amazing player, looks like a jackass on stage, not great for selling tickets to those paying his check.

5. A director summed it up very cleanly, I think, by saying, "Don't be a distraction."

6. no farting Bloke, no ****, literally, but for some reason must be said. Goes along with "Don't stink like last night's fuel."

[Mark]

Also, please bathe some time in the month before the performance!

[MaryAnn]

On the beta blocker person. Yes, she had quite a problem with nerves, to the point where she felt she had to do something or quit playing. I think she uses them for all playing instances so that she will know how she is going to feel every time, and not something different for performances.

[roweenie]

6. no farting Bloke, no ****, literally, but for some reason must be said. Goes along with "Don't stink like last night's fuel."

I used to play next to a fellow who was fond of garlic soup, and it always seemed as though he indulged directly before rehearsals.

It came to the point where I literally could not breathe while playing upwind of his bell.

[Tom Mason]

Here are some I have dealt with after becoming the orchestra rep to the local symphony board......

1. When the executive director and treasurer tells you to turn in receipts for your hotel stay, do it.
2. If you expect to be reimbursed for said hotel stays, turn in said receipts.
3. If you expect to be paid for the entire weekend of rehearsals and gig, actually show up for work.
4. Keep the stage clean. Your imperial presence does not allow you to leave 27 bottles of water around your chair. It might keep others from being able one bottle on stage.
5. Just because you as a cello player need more to play does not give you permission to move my stand and instrument without my permission. (comes from a bassist)
6. Just because the stage exit is behind the bass section does not give you permission to kick my bass or trip on my neck when you leave.

[hup_d_dup]

When the conductor stops conducting, stop playing, immediately. You don't need to finish the phrase.

Hup