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HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby bloke » Thu Nov 09, 2017 11:06 am

I'm considering designing a special model of tuba JUST FOR YOU - to suit "Three Valves particular musical needs", and taking my design (based on my hundreds of years of experience in design and engineering) to "that huge low-cost Chinese manufacturer".

Just as is the trend, these days, I'm going to give it a name...an animal name...along with it's model number (3...duh), and - of course - it will sport three valves. The type of valve used will be our patented "Y-valve"...i.e. "Y any valves at all...??"

This (below) will be the engraving pattern for the bell.

Let us all know how excited you are at the proposition of becoming a Signature Model bloketubas Artiste ! :D 8)

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Last edited by bloke on Thu Nov 09, 2017 11:15 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby windshieldbug » Thu Nov 09, 2017 11:22 am

I predict it will attract buyers like flames to a sloth... :shock:
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
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Re: HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby bloke » Thu Nov 09, 2017 11:32 am

I must admit:

I am awaiting Three Valves' response with bat̶e̶ d breath.
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Re: HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby Casca Grossa » Thu Nov 09, 2017 11:39 am

+1
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Why have 3 valves when you can have 6 and a main tuning slide kicker???
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Re: HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby Lectron » Thu Nov 09, 2017 12:05 pm

An extremely credible source told me this will be the greatest tuba ever built. :tuba:
Melton 200 -=- Melton 2141 -=- Cerveny 883 Opera -=- MPCs: 3pcs steel (Sellmansberger/Parker)
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Re: HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby bloke » Thu Nov 09, 2017 12:22 pm

Lectron wrote:An extremely credible source told me this will be the greatest tuba ever built. :tuba:


"designed by French technicians"
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Re: HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby Lectron » Thu Nov 09, 2017 1:08 pm

bloke wrote:
Lectron wrote:An extremely credible source told me this will be the greatest tuba ever built. :tuba:


"designed by French technicians"

What could possibli.....uh possibly go wrong
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Re: HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby bloke » Thu Nov 09, 2017 1:17 pm

Lectron wrote:
bloke wrote:
Lectron wrote:An extremely credible source told me this will be the greatest tuba ever built. :tuba:


"designed by French technicians"

What could possibli.....uh possibly go wrong


I can think of absolutely nothing.
It's absolutely titanic !
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Re: HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby Three Valves » Thu Nov 09, 2017 1:37 pm

I am very excited and flattered to no end. :roll:

With this great instrument, I will no doubt increase my upper range by half an octave and win my next audition to play the FIRST Tuba part at Tuba Christmas next year.

Well, in Newport News, VA anyway, maybe, the competition is pretty fierce in Frederick, MD!!

:tuba:

I look forward to being your designated representative for the Mid-Atlantic and Signature Model bloketubas Artiste. (Provided Mack Brass does not match your generous offer) :shock:
Last edited by Three Valves on Thu Nov 09, 2017 1:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Who needs four valves??

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Re: HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby Lectron » Thu Nov 09, 2017 1:37 pm

I had a German tuba shipped via their corporation's french warehouse.
It had to many flaws at had to be returned, but I am sure it would be MUCH worse if the French wasn't involved.
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Re: HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby the elephant » Thu Nov 09, 2017 2:15 pm

This is all too much for me to grasp. I am sticking with my trusted Chinese tuba.
In the multiverse there is a TubeNet where we talk about how we greased our cat with toothpaste and hot sauce so it would fly better in the rain. Even then someone would ask whether the cat was lacquered or silver plated.
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Re: HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby Three Valves » Thu Nov 09, 2017 2:53 pm

the elephant wrote:This is all too much for me to grasp. I am sticking with my trusted Chinese tuba.


Jealous!! :twisted:
Who needs four valves??

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Re: HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby imperialbari » Thu Nov 09, 2017 3:00 pm

Three Valves rather should be flattened by this design being dedicated to him. He will need that for certain fingerings.

But then, if this model sloths well, customers will be clawing for it.
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Re: HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby humBell » Thu Nov 09, 2017 3:06 pm

I like what ya did with the first branch.
Ol' et sock & tuba
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Re: HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby bloke » Thu Nov 09, 2017 3:32 pm

humBell wrote:I like what ya did with the first branch.


I was just hanging around...and it came to me.
It dogged me for a while, but it was obviously that those earlier ones were barking up the wrong tree.
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Re: HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby Casca Grossa » Thu Nov 09, 2017 4:21 pm

bloke wrote:
Lectron wrote:An extremely credible source told me this will be the greatest tuba ever built. :tuba:


"designed by French technicians"


The Arrogance, the daintiness, the French Tuba Sound.

The Sloth French Connection 3 valve BBb Tuba opens up all the registers in a nasally French Sound. 3/4 Size with .787 Bore Yellow Brass and Nickel Silver Tubing lead the way to the petite 14 3/4" Bell.

New Redeisgned Friction Free Valve Block-All Nickel Silver Plated for Durability

Bronze Rose Finish for Warm Sound

Open Wrap design keeps air flowing smoothly all the way down to the subsonic registers. The Sloth French Connection 3 valve BBb Tuba comes complete with a genuine Blokepiece Mouthpiece and a Hard Case with wheels.

Sloth French Connection 3 valve BBb Tuba, Reclaiming the French Tuba Heritage.
Mack-a-clone 186 "Chairman Mao"
Blokepiece Imperial #2 Fair Dinkum Profundo Rim
Why have 3 valves when you can have 6 and a main tuning slide kicker???
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Re: HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby Three Valves » Thu Nov 09, 2017 4:52 pm

Inspired, I will compose a special commemorative number titled;

"Mazurka in Eb"

The uptempo waltz will be sensitive to those with limited range.

Say, from F1 thru F3.

That's F3 on a good day.

On a day when Db3 isn't the best I can do consistently and with good tone... :oops:
Who needs four valves??

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Re: HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby bloke » Thu Nov 09, 2017 5:20 pm

...but don't you mean "cupronickel" and 這個產品會讓你超級快樂。 ?
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Re: HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby bloke » Thu Nov 09, 2017 10:38 pm

There's a baritone horn on the horizon as well, just fwiw...

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Re: HEY THREE VALVES !!!

Postby imperialbari » Thu Nov 09, 2017 11:07 pm

As played by Max Roach, when he ran out of something to beat?
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