Military training standards compared...

[poomshanka]

In an effort to ensure proper training and readiness among the military services, Congress has approved the following changes to basic principles of recruit training:


HAIRCUTS:
Marines - heads will be shaved.
Army - flat-tops for all recruits.
Navy - no haircut standard.
Air Force - complete makeovers as seen on the Jenny Jones show.


TRAINING HOURS:
Marines - rise at 0500, train until 2000.
Army - rise at 0600, train until 1900.
Navy - rise at 0900, train until 1100, lunch til 1300, train till 1600.
Air Force - rise at 1000, breakfast in bed, lunch at 1200, nap at 1400, training ceases at 1500.


MEALS:
Marines - Meals-Ready-to-Eat 3 times a day.
Army - one hot meal, 2 MRE's.
Navy - 3 hot meals.
Air Force - catered meals prepared by the Galloping Gourmet, Julia Childs, and Wolfgang Puck. All you can eat.


LEAVE and LIBERTY:
Marines - none.
Army - 4 hours a week.
Navy - 2 days a week.
Air Force - for every four hours of training, recruits will receive eight hours of leave and liberty.


PROTOCOL:
Marines - will address all officers as "Sir" and refer to the rank of all enlisted members when speaking (i.e. SGT Smith).
Army - will address all officers as "Sir", and will call all enlisted personnel "Sarge."
Navy - will address all officers as Skipper, and all enlisted personnel as Chief.
Air Force - all Air Force personnel shall be on a first name basis with all other personnel.


DECORATIONS/AWARDS:
Marines - medals & badges are awarded for acts of gallantry, bravery or exceptionally meritorious service.
Army - medals and badges are awarded for every bullet fired, hand grenade thrown, fitness test passed, and bed made.
Navy - will have ships' engineers make medals for them as needed.
Air Force - will be issued all medals as they will most likely be awarded them at some point early in their careers.


CAMOUFLAGE UNIFORMS:
Marines - work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations.
Army - will wear it anytime, anywhere.
Navy - will not wear cammies, they do not camouflage you on a ship. Captains will make every effort to TRY to explain this to your sailors.
Air Force - will defeat the purpose of camouflage by putting blue and gray service chevrons and name tapes on them. They will also get newly designed and personally tailored uniforms to replace the airline pilot coats they presently have.


CAREER FIELDS:
Marines - all Marines shall be considered riflemen first and foremost.
Army - doesn't matter, all career fields promote to E-5 in first enlistment.
Navy - nobody knows. Navy still trying figure out what all the SMC, BNC, BSN, and all the other ratings things are.
Air Force - every recruit will be trained in a manner that will allow them to leave the service early

[poomshanka]

So much for the Air Force and maybe Navy business, huh, Dave?

Of course, having spent four years tooting my horn for Uncle Sugar in an Air Force field band, I'm not biased IN ANY WAY whatsoever...



...D

[Rick F]

Dave, you must be recruiting for the Air Force in your spare time.

[poomshanka]

Dave, you must be recruiting for the Air Force in your spare time.

Hmmmmmm.... well, consider that I only did the bare minimum before you jump to any conclusions.



There are a select few who I'd recommend a military gig to, and although I was certainly VERY happy to be out, I'd have to say USAF is the way to go for a field bander.

Of course, that o-peen-yohn is circa 16 years ago, so perhaps other branches of the service have changed since then...

Or maybe not...

Hmmmmm.....

...Roger Ramjet

[poomshanka]

You graduated/retired in only 4 years? You are good!

If you factor in the time when I actually came to my senses and asked "WTF did I just do?", then I actually "graduated" prolly a couple months into the gig. The rest, in military parlance, was just "marking time".

Now post-USAF, I *did* graduate from Kinko's U after six months of intensive study with a certificate in "Time to get the Hell outta here and go make some money." Been pushing pixels ever since.

Now slingin' brass too...

...D

[tubatooter1940]

poomshanka, as an ex-marine, I find your assessment to be quite accurate.

[sandiegotuba]

I as well agree completely with this your post. (Former Marine Here).

[Leland]

I also find it mostly accurate (and simultaneously quite funny), at least except for this:

MEALS:
Marines - Meals-Ready-to-Eat 3 times a day.

Gah... such is life in the "New Corps", huh? We did two meals over three days (actually true).

Tangential joke:

On the eve of November 10th, 1775, the very first ever enlisted Marine walks out of Tun Tavern. His buddy, the second enlistee, comes outside and meets him.

The first Marine grumbles and says, "Let me tell you about the old Corps..."

[Brassdad]

As a current Marine Logistician I take great umbrage that anyone would think we "give away" 3 MREs in a day.
You pay for 'em buddy....(and it is more like 2 over 3 days, especially after the first 4 or 5 days)

Also, my brother-in-law is a retired USAF Master Sergeant. Back in 1987 he and my sister visited my family at Camp Lejeune. As I was giving them the grand tour of the base and training areas, I did encounter a few individuals (in Marine Corps uniforms) who needed "on the spot" guidance, which I gave and sent them on their way. Later my sister told me that Rick had some freinds over and told them....
"Man, in the Marine Corps any officer can tell you what to do and you have to do it. EVEN IF HE'S NOT YOUR BOSS!"