When I win the lottery...

[Nick Pierce]

Hey, it worked for Bert Gummer!

If memory serves, it didn't actually work for him, since the worms just went straight through the walls.

[NC_amateur_euph]

W.I.W.T.L. -

The Mrs. already has this figured out. To wit:

- Buy a cul-de-sac on the water and build 3 nice homes - one for her, one for Carolyn, one for Sandy (they are the true Golden Girls).
- Find a really nice nursing home for me - must have access to high-speed data so I can continue to work and send the paychecks home.
- Hire Brunhilde as my private-duty nurse. No sweet young thang - a Nurse Wratched clone.

We kid about this - but I think, deep down, she's serious! I love her anyway.

[tubatooter1940]

If I won the lottery, there is only one thing I would need:

"The Bulldozer Song"

1. If I had a bulldozer, there'd be lots of parking places.
Look at that brand new Corvette - sittin' there taking up two spaces.

[chorus] If I had a diesel rig, with a big ole blade - treads just like a tank. I would have it made. Courtesy would reign, arguments would cease, 'cause everyone would know, I'd squash 'em like a cheese. [pause for hissy fit]

2. If I had a bulldozer, my application would go through. And my boss would run to get my coat, if I decided to leave by, two.
If I had a bulldozer, the I.R.S would never chide. And an audit would go much more quickly, with a 'dozer idling outside.

[chorus 2] If I had a diesel rig, with a big ole blade, treads just like a tank, I would have it made. Courtesy would reign, arguments abate, 'cause everyone would know, I'd squash 'em like a grape.

-tuba solo-

3. If I had a bulldozer, all the doors would open up. And people would treat me with a lot more respect, or I'd knock 'em down and squish 'em up.
[chorus 3] If I had a diesel rig, with a big ole blade, the world would be a better place.

[ken k]

Of course I would do all the boring pay off my debt stuff (although that would end the great tax deductions I have!)

set up college funds for the kids

retire from school teaching

buy my wife the thunderbird she has been covetting

buy BMWs for me, both a car and a motorcyle

add to my horn collection

finance a concert band to play a few concerts a year (I would conduct of course). Then I can play the music I want to play!

ken "of course in order to win the lottery I would have to buy a ticket!" k

[ken k]

OOO Bombay Sapphire, now you are talking....
just had a tini Friday night when I got home from the football game. Knowing there is Bombay waiting for me gets me through those 17 hour days!

speaking of gin I just saw a James Bond trivia thing somewhere (maybe it was here?) saying that 007 prefers Gordon's Gin. Never had it. I guess I will have to try a bottle.

k

[MaryAnn]

IIWTL...I would Quit.My.Job.Now.

The rest would fall into place.

MA