LoyalTubist in a neighborhood in the Philippines (Top 10)

[LoyalTubist]

One of the things I missed in Vietnam was the Late Show with David Letterman. We get him on a station in Manila on a three week delay (it could be worse, guys!)

Here is my version of one of his top ten lists: What do Filipinos think of Bill living in their neighborhood?

10. He's come to exploit their women.

9. The local 7-Eleven now buys three times as much enriched white bread, knowing that Bill probably doesn't eat that much rice. They don't know Bill only eats whole wheat bread. He also doesn't eat as much bread as they think. (Filipinos are taught that Westerners eat bread the same way Asians eat rice... definitely NOT TRUE!!!)

8. Bill can survive on cheeseburgers and Coca-Cola three times a day.

7. Bill is rich. Somewhere he has tucked away $1,000,000. Everyone's waiting for the day he gets the money so they can be wealthy just like him, because everyone knows he will spend it like mad!

6. Bill's real name is Joe. All Americans are named Joe. Just ask any Filipino.

5. How can Bill smell so nice and clean when everyone knows Americans only bathe once a month? (They learned this by watching Little House on the Prairie.)

4. Not only is Bill rich, but he owns a mansion in Las Vegas. He will get $5,000,000 more after he sells his house.

3. Bill lies about his age. No 51 year old man could attract so many 20 year old Filipinas.

2. All Americans are sissies. Bill proves this by not smoking or spitting on the ground.

1. Bill is on the run from the F.B.I.

[windshieldbug]

I'm actually sure that the truth lies in # 10, however, rest easy Bill, because I speak no Philipino.