Holiday Eating Tips

[OldsRecording]

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum
balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn
into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before
becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember
this motto to live by:

NOTE--- "Life Should NOT Be A Journey To The Grave" with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, red wine in
the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

[TubaRay]

NOTE--- "Life Should NOT Be A Journey To The Grave" with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, red wine in
the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

There's something to be said about this bit of advice.

[tbn.al]

Rather than try to pick and choose, I just eat everything in sight. My body, which is much smarter than I, then throws up anything that's not good.

[rocksanddirt]

I agree with everything except the comment on fruitcake.

Fruitcake is where you go when you need to absorb a bit of the eggnog, in order to continue to stand at the buffet.

and more butter. If things don't seem to be swimming in butter, ask.

[Dean E]

Don't forget to take a discreet supply of quart and gallon size freezer bags with you for carrying back leftovers. The freezer bags are fairly strong, and are not as obvious as tupperware and the like.

[iiipopes]

(OK - I just gotta)

Around the holidays, I adopt a see-food diet. I see food, I eat it.

[Rick Denney]

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

You use milk?

Rick "who uses butter" Denney

[OldsRecording]

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

You use milk?

Rick "who uses butter" Denney

Well, I suppose whole milk will do in a pinch, but REAL mashed potatoes are made with cream. HEAVY cream. And butter. And sour cream. And more butter. Maybe a bit more heavy cream. And more butter. And a serving is topped off with a nice, big dollop of sour cream, and gravy, and (you guessed it!) more butter.

[rocksanddirt]

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

You use milk?

Rick "who uses butter" Denney

the mrs uses whole milk and butter....then butter and gravy on them....hmmmmmmm

[tbn.al]

I don't know how we got on potatoes, but here is the very best potato(e) recipie in the entire known universe. My wife only goes to the trouble for holidays but I'm already licking my chops for Christmas dinner. Try it. You won't need anything else.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/emer ... index.html" target="_blank

[ken k]

as for number 9, there is only one fruitcake in the world. it just keeps getting passed from party to party......
k

[OldsRecording]

My wife puts cream cheese in her's. They are to die for. I am also partial to eating corn and mashed potatos in the same bite...gravy doesn't hurt either.

Cool. That's nearly shepherd's pie. Add some ground beef, into the oven so the potatoes get nice and crunchy on top...

[tubatooter1940]

Gonna take that leftover ham and dice it up with eggs, cheese, shrooms and whatever else I can find in the refrigerator, bake it in the oven for an hour and make the mother of all omlets.

[tuba72]

I thought fruitcake was only suitable for use as a door stop!(sorry, just could not resist)

[tubatooter1940]

I thought fruitcake was only suitable for use as a door stop!

Don't forget they make dandy Christmas tree stands.

[Dan Schultz]

I thought fruitcake was only suitable for use as a door stop!

Don't forget they make dandy Christmas tree stands.

A tangent, but I DO miss the 'fruitcake lady' who used to appear on The Tonight Show. She died but I'm sure the fruitcakes live on!

[tbn.al]

I thought fruitcake was only suitable for use as a door stop!

Don't forget they make dandy Christmas tree stands.

A tangent, but I DO miss the 'fruitcake lady' who used to appear on The Tonight Show. She died but I'm sure the fruitcakes live on!

You haven't eaten a real fruitcake until you eaten the best! Most of you have only eaten that stuff from Colin Street with the consistancy of a bowling ball.

http://www.georgiafruitcakecompany.com/Articles/6.html" target="_blank" target="_blank" target="_blank

Here is the proper method to make a Corsicana fruit cake edible, straight from the horses mouth on Colin Street.

How do you "Doctor" the DeLuxe Fruitcake?

We recommend a good Cognac, Brandy, Red Wine or Port be used. Simply soak a clean white cheese cloth in the spirit of your choice then remove the cello wrap from your DeLuxe and place the cloth completely around the cake. Make sure to fill the center hole with part of the well soaked cloth.

Place the "Doctored" DeLuxe back in the tin and refrigerate. After about 5 days remove and re-soak the cheese cloth with special interest on the part in center of cake.

Repeat every 5 days keep tasting until it's just right.

Happy Sampling!

After the a month you'll just throw the cake away and eat the cheese cloth.