New musical terms

[scottw]

> New Musical Terms
>
> Obligato - being forced to practice
>
> Metronome - short, city musician who can fit into a Honda Civic
>
> Lento - the days leading up to Easto
>
> Largo - beer brewed in Germany for the Florida Keys
>
> Piu Animato - clean out the cat's litter box
>
> Con Spirito - drunk again
>
> Colla Voce - this shirt is so tight I can't sing
>
> Improvisation - what you do when the music falls down
>
> Prelude - warm-up before the clever stuff
>
> Flats - English apartments
>
> Chords - things organists play with one finger
>
> Discords - thing that organists play with two fingers
>
> Suspended Chords - useful for lynching the vocalist
>
> Time Signatures - things for drummers to ignore
>
> Melody - an ancient, now almost extinct, art in songwriting
>
> Klavierstuck - A term used by German furniture movers
> attempting to get a piano through a narrow doorway.
>
> Music Stand - An intricate device used to hold music. Comes in two sizes
> - too high or too low - always broken.
>
> Tonic - A medicinal drink consumed in great quantity before a
> performance, and in greater quantity afterwards.
>
> Dominant - What parents must be if they expect their
> children to practice.
>
> Concert Hall - A place where large audiences gather, for
> the sole purpose of removing paper wrappings from candy and gum.
>
> Sotto Voce - singing while drunk
>
> Agogic - playing high enough on an oboe to make the eyes bulge.
>
> Cadenza - slapping noise on office furniture
>
> Fandango - grabbing the pull chain on the ceiling fan
>
> Prima Volta - jump start with a battery
>
> Refrain - proper technique for playing bagpipes
>
> Smorzando - with melted chocolate and marshmallow

[DonShirer]

Have you submitted these to the Harvard Dictionary of Music?

A few more:

Presto - Tapping the foot in time to the music.

Barcarole - Song by those with too much Con Spirito

Basset Horn - Instrument used to summon the hounds

Polytonal - Notes from a musical parrot

Shofar - Sho good.

[tubatom91]

Del capo al Fine: Nice hat!

[MartyNeilan]

"Solo" or "One Only" = all play, preferably as out of tune as possible.
"Divisi" = everyone play the bottom part (tuba) or the top part (trumpet).
"pp" = see p.
"p" = play almost as loud as f.
"ff" = play the same volume as f, but with a much worse tone and more out of tune.
"Ritardando" or "Rallentando" or "Accellerando"= keep the beat as steady as possible and never slow down or speed up, it is the tuba player's job to maintain tempo.
"adagio" or "andante" or "allegro" or "presto" = play the same tempo you usually play. When in doubt, see above.
"legato" = tongue hard, with lots of space between notes.
"stacatto" = strive for a fierce attack with no discernable pitch afterwards.
"cue" or "cues" = always play the part, especially if there are several of the notated instruments already playing it. Prove you can play it louder than them.
"String bass pizz. "= see stacatto and cue.
"rehearsal" = not necessary for tuba players.
"dress rehearsal" = optional for tuba players.
"call time" = 45 minutes before the tuba player needs to show up.
"©" = make as many copies as possible and distribute them to everyone you know. You will be doing them a big favor since they won't have to buy the music. Bonus points if you scan it and post it on your website.

[Brucom]

Don't forget PDQ Bach's Music Minus Two Castrata in D Minor.

[David Richoux]

A reverse definition for Tacet: It does NOT mean "Take It!" (I actually heard a band leader say that...)