Cheese

[rodgeman]

That is soo cool!

[cambrook]

What a great looking machine - I bet it sounds awesome!

[bisontuba]

HI-
As usual, amazing Matt Walters work on a beautiful horn! You should have fun with it.

BTW, I have 'heard through the grapevine' that an Asian Cimbasso clone--maybe in BBb(?)--is in the works, copied from what I am told is a superb Cimbasso--for what Cimbasso's are going for these days, an excellent Asian clone could really do well.....we'll see....

Regards-
mark

[tubaguy9]

I like cheese too. Mostly bleu. But any high quality is best.

[SousaSaver]

Just avoid any product with a Z instead of an S...

[iiipopes]

Stilton. More versatile than roquefort or cheddar.

[tubaguy9]

I'm with bloke. Gouda is gouda cheese. I like bleu, pepperjack, gouda, all that kind of stuff...

[Uncle Buck]

I like most of what has been mentioned here, but I also thoroughly enjoy good cheese of the more common varieties. For example, I enjoy a really good sharp cheddar about as much as a really nice gouda.

Here in Utah we have two pretty good University creameries - one at BYU and one at Utah State. It pains me as a BYU alum to admit that the Utah State one is superior, but it simply is. A trip to Logan, Utah is not complete without a stop at the creamery there.

Good stuff. Not fancy - won't show up at any wine and cheese tasting shows - but still good stuff.

[cambrook]

Customer walks in the Henry Wenslydale's Cheese shop and walks past the bazouki player.
Customer: Good Morning.

Wenslydale: Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium!

Customer: Ah, thank you, my good man.

Wenslydale: What can I do for you, Sir?

Customer: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through "Rogue Herrys" by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly came over all peckish.

Wenslydale: Peckish, sir?

Customer: Esuriant.

Wenslydale: Eh?

Customer: 'Ee, Ah wor 'ungry-loike!

Wenslydale: Ah, hungry!

Customer: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a little fermented curd will do the trick," so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles!

Wenslydale: Come again?

Customer: I want to buy some cheese.

Wenslydale: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player!

Customer: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse!

Wenslydale: Sorry?

Customer: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tuune, 'yer forced too!

Wenslydale: So he can go on playing, can he?

Customer: Most certainly! Now then, some cheese please, my good man.

Wenslydale: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like?

Customer: Well, eh, how about a little red Leicester.

Wenslydale: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir.

Customer: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit?

Wenslydale: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday.

Customer: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please.

Wenslydale: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning.

Customer: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bel Paese?

Wenslydale: Sorry, sir.

Customer: Red Windsor?

Wenslydale: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.

Customer: Ah. Stilton?

Wenslydale: Sorry.

Customer: Ementhal? Gruyere?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance.

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Lipta?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Lancashire?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: White Stilton?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Danish Brew?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Double Goucester?

Wenslydale: (pause) No.

Customer: Cheshire?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Dorset Bluveny?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Brie, Roquefort, Pol le Veq, Port Salut, Savoy Aire, Saint Paulin, Carrier de lest, Bres Bleu, Bruson?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Camenbert, perhaps?

Wenslydale: Ah! We have Camenbert, yessir.

Customer: (surprised) You do! Excellent.

Wenslydale: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny...

Customer: Oh, I like it runny.

Wenslydale: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir.

Customer: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah!

Wenslydale: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.

Customer: I don't care how **** runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.

Wenslydale: Oooooooooohhh........!

Customer: What now?

Wenslydale: The cat's eaten it.

Customer: (pause) Has he.

Wenslydale: She, sir.

(pause)

Customer: Gouda?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Edam?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Case Ness?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Smoked Austrian?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Japanese Sage Darby?

Wenslydale: No, sir.

Customer: You...do *have* some cheese, don't you?

Wenslydale: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got--

Customer: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.

Wenslydale: Fair enough.

Customer: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale.

Wenslydale: Yes?

Customer: Ah, well, I'll have some of that!

Wenslydale: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name.

(pause)

Customer: Greek Feta?

Wenslydale: Uh, not as such.

Customer: Uuh, Gorgonzola?

Wenslydale: no

Customer: Parmesan,

Wenslydale: no

Customer: Mozarella,

Wenslydale: no

Customer: Paper Cramer,

Wenslydale: no

Customer: Danish Bimbo,

Wenslydale: no

Customer: Czech sheep's milk,

Wenslydale: no

Customer: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?

Wenslydale: Not *today*, sir, no.

(pause)

Customer: Aah, how about Cheddar?

Wenslydale: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir.

Customer: Not much ca--It's the single most popular cheese in the world!

Wenslydale: Not 'round here, sir.

Customer: {pause}and what IS the most popular cheese 'round hyah?

Wenslydale: 'Illchester, sir.

Customer: IS it.

Wenslydale: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire.

Customer: Is it.

Wenslydale: It's our number one best seller, sir!

Customer: I see. Uuh...'Illchester, eh?

Wenslydale: Right, sir.

Customer: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any?' he asked, expecting the answer 'no'.

Wenslydale: I'll have a look, sir... nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.

Customer: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?

Wenslydale: Finest in the district!

Customer: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.

Wenslydale: Well, it's so clean, sir!

Customer: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese....

Wenslydale: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir.

Customer: Would it be worth it?

Wenslydale: Could be....

Customer: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOUKI OFF!

Wenslydale: Told you sir....

Customer: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger?

Wenslydale: No.

Customer: Figures. Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me

Wenslydale: Yessir?

Customer: Have you in fact got any cheese here at all.

Wenslydale: Yes,sir.

Customer: Really?

(pause) Wenslydale: No. Not really, sir.

Customer: You haven't.

Wenslydale: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time,sir.

Customer: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.

Wenslydale: Right-0, sir.

The customer takes out a gun and shoots the owner.

Customer: What a *senseless* waste of human life.

[The Jackson]

I WANT TO LIVE IN AUSTRALIA

[Tubajug]

I am a big fan of gouda. We had to do a project on cheese back in 9th grade biology and my partner and I had gouda. He brought the samples for everyone and gave me the leftovers...It was love at first bite....

Something else I've recently discovered is eating sharp cheddar cheese on Rosemary and Olive Oil Triscuits. I'm not exactly sure what it is, but that combination is just delicious to me. Give it a shot.

Anyway, those are my "cheesy" comments.

[DonShirer]

Only thing better than Monty Python's cheesy comestibles is Humboldt Fog goat cheese. (Oh, and Snorlax, did you know that after almost 50 years in limbo, Liederkranz is being made again?)

[Casey Tucker]

American.

'nuff said.

-CT

[tubbba]

Which tuba is the "pasteurized process cheese food" of tubas?

Isn't the answer always "186"?

[tubbba]

Which tuba is the "pasteurized process cheese food" of tubas?

Isn't the answer always "186"?

I'd say, "No," because ppcf is bland and adulterated. I would look more towards an island location of origination.

So, then, would a 186 be more like "cheddar" (i.e., tasty and appropriate in most any situation)?

[Uncle Buck]

If Miraphone = cheddar, then,

What do you think of . . .

Hirsbrunner = (duh) Swiss
Meinl Weston = Parmesan
Yamaha = Monterey Jack
Conn = Colby
Alexander = Feta
Thein = Roquefort
M&M = tofu (oh wait, I mean Swiss or cheddar with a "tofu" label on it)

(And sorry, I still can't come up with one for pasteurized processed cheese-like food, which is of poor quality, readily available everywhere, and has been in high-volume use by the masses for years and years.)

[Brucom]

Which tuba is the "pasteurized process cheese food" of tubas?

A fiberglass Conn sousaphone.

[ken k]

Which tuba is the "pasteurized process cheese food" of tubas?

any cheap chinese tuba??

[ken k]

what is a cow's favorite cheese?

[ken k]

moo-zzarella!