A thread for bad ideas...

[windshieldbug]

what kind of tattoo would your tuba get?

A tattoo of a skull and crossed oboes...

[Three Valves]

Miraphone Hagen.

It would not be a Miraphone Hagen.

It would just say Miraphone Hagen!!

[humBell]

Lendin' out the tuba you are currently playing.

Though there is something elegant about the thought.

[humBell]

Oh, i never did answer the tattoo on a tuba question myself, did i?

I would probably dodge the question by playing the bugle call tattoo on my tuba...

Or by pointing out that the above post is #500. I like it.

Lately i been confounding colors and tattoo, when i try to remember 'em, so perhaps i should review my bugle calls.

[waterotter12]

A sousaphone made of ice, specifically for band camp

[humBell]

I' confused.... do you or don't you want your valves frozen?

[waterotter12]

Both we want the valves to be just frozen enough to have the allusion of working but only be annoyingly sticky. Sort of like the school tuba I had to play.

[windshieldbug]

a newly-submitted bad idea:
a person to stand in front of musicians and wave their arms at them while they're playing

It seems that almost all large groups of musicians have a person wildly gesticulating in front of them trying to get their attention!

[waterotter12]

Really I never noticed

[humBell]

Looking forward to the day they implement superconductor technology...

Don't know what that could mean for music.

But i digress...

If i claim to have learned to count on the 5000 fingers of Dr. T, may i post in the 10 and under thread?

"Ten little dancing maidens dancing oh so fine,
Ten happy little fingers and they're mine all mine.
They're mine, they're mine, now isn't that just fine,
Not three, not five, not seven, and not nine;
But ten all dancing straight in line,
And all of them are mine, mine, mine,
Yes, they are mine, all mine!"

[humBell]

Didn't know those beds were called Murphy beds...

Wikipedia article on them is entertaining. "It's not my bedroom... it's a parlour!"

I wonder what other parlour tricks could make for bad ideas?

[IsaacTuba]

A contrabass superbone.

What an unstoppable beast this would be.

[humBell]

Superbones have both valves and slides, right?

I think my vote is for a 3 or 4 slide trombone, now that i think of it.

That can get you an aerobic workout just managing them all?

Or maybe just implement a chutes and ladders board with slides and valves...

You land on a slide... you go down a minor third.

[humBell]

Playing a sousaphone in a limbo contest?

[Three Valves]

Playing a sousaphone in a limbo contest?

I’m in!!

[humBell]

fake valves

.Ah, that would infuriate me...

I hate it when i go to put something in a uniform jacket pocket, only to realize after the 4th or 5th failed attempt that it is merely a decorative flap with a button coming out of it...

I can just imagine pushing down a fake valve hearing the same note come out, and keep blowing and contorting my lips trying to lip it where i want it...

[humBell]

Birthdays for threads?

[humBell]

Metric feet.

Then 2'4"= 24"

Which it does, in base 12, which i have heard described as the wiggle-waggle system, but as i heard tell, that system was only for educational purposes, and even then was not widely subscribed to...

[humBell]

A# tuba?

Would anyone play one of them?

[windshieldbug]

an auxiliary "wrong-note" valve...

Its finger button extends out from the instrument about 15 inches to the player's right.

Whenever a wrong pitch is played, the tubaist may inform the music director,

"The bass trombonist - once again - bumped my wrong-note valve."