Do you find this Ironic??

TubaRay · Post by **TubaRay** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 5:19 pm

What an awesome post, Ricko. I nominate it for the TubeNet post of the year. How many minus points would I get for that? Would there be additional minus points if I printed a hard copy of the post?

ThomasDodd · Post by **ThomasDodd** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 5:46 pm

TubaRay wrote:What an awesome post, Ricko. I nominate it for the TubeNet post of the year. How many minus points would I get for that? Would there be additional minus points if I printed a hard copy of the post?

I'm taking my wife a copy

-2000 points

TubaRay · Post by **TubaRay** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 6:01 pm

I laughed out loud when I read Thomas' response. I guess I picked up some more negative points. Nothing new there.

MartyNeilan · Post by **MartyNeilan** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 8:02 pm

A couple of years ago, an elderly gentleman who had been married forever told me to remember to say this, no matter the occassion:
"I'm sorry, I was wrong, please forgive me."

jlbreyer · Post by **jlbreyer** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 8:15 pm

Another rule I heard (and use) is:

If you have an argument and YOU win it, you must apologize immediately.

MaryAnn · Post by **MaryAnn** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 10:51 am

Weeelllllll,

I think the point list is hilarious, and there is much truth to it.

Only thing I disagree with, is that it's not about "winning." The major difference between (most) men and (most) women is that men tend to see and act in a heirarchy, while women tend to try to achieve consensus, and are much less heirarchy-oriented. A gaggle of women will not generally pick a leader and follow; they try to all agree on a solution to a problem and then all act on it. In general, and I'm talking of course about myself because I can't get inside another woman's head, if I start a discussion about something I'm unhappy about, what I want is for us to reach a win-win consensus on it, where we're both happy with the result, instead of bending a consternated male to my bidding.

Like, if he does not like to bathe and I find that disgusting, it would be to our mutual benefit if he starts to bathe regularly because I will no longer be disgusted and he will get the kind of attention he wants that he is lacking due to being unclean. See how that is win-win?

MA

TubaRay · Post by **TubaRay** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 10:58 am

"Win-Win" A great concept. Often, but not always possible.

ThomasDodd · Post by **ThomasDodd** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 12:40 pm

MaryAnn wrote: Like, if he does not like to bathe and I find that disgusting, it would be to our mutual benefit if he starts to bathe regularly because I will no longer be disgusted and he will get the kind of attention he wants that he is lacking due to being unclean. See how that is win-win?

See, just like a woman. You call it a comprimise, when you got what you wanted. And resorted to extortion to get it.

We're used to that though

MaryAnn · Post by **MaryAnn** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 2:47 pm

ThomasDodd wrote: See, just like a woman. You call it a comprimise, when you got what you wanted. And resorted to extortion to get it.

We're used to that though

I do believe you missed the joke. Perhaps I was too subtle.

MA

Rick Denney · Post by **Rick Denney** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:31 pm

MaryAnn wrote:Like, if he does not like to bathe and I find that disgusting, it would be to our mutual benefit if he starts to bathe regularly because I will no longer be disgusted and he will get the kind of attention he wants that he is lacking due to being unclean. See how that is win-win?

What if it's the woman who doesn't bathe? How will you achieve consensus on that one?

I find that men, by and large, seek to achieve consensus as well. But they use different arguments--arguments based what is objectively correct, rather than what is based on how they feel about it. Of course, I may be thinking of engineers rather than men. The most uncooperative people I've ever met have been engineers who are asked to something they think is sub-optimal and women who are asked to submerge their feelings for the good of the product.

Rick "whose wife bathes, just for the record" Denney

MartyNeilan · Post by **MartyNeilan** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 9:59 pm

Doc wrote:You are thinking of men in general. Logic plays a big role in what we do and how we think.

Reminds me of something the other night - it was in the 20's outside but the mid 70's in the apt. My wife, in t-shirt and shorts, said she was still cold. I, in my long pants and sweater, said I was hot. My wife looks at me like I am stupid and says, "Well put on a t-shirt and turn up the heat!"

Marty "who remembers $800 heat bills in Rochester"

Matt G · Post by **Matt G** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 9:08 am

MartyNeilan wrote:
Doc wrote:You are thinking of men in general. Logic plays a big role in what we do and how we think.
Reminds me of something the other night - it was in the 20's outside but the mid 70's in the apt. My wife, in t-shirt and shorts, said she was still cold. I, in my long pants and sweater, said I was hot. My wife looks at me like I am stupid and says, "Well put on a t-shirt and turn up the heat!"

Marty "who remembers $800 heat bills in Rochester"

She's lucky!

When it is constantly in the 20's up here (quite often) I occasionally move the heat down to 65. My wife is lucky this year, we got a new boiler that works a whole lot better and now i keep it at 68. "Dressing in Layers" has become scripture in my house!

MaryAnn · Post by **MaryAnn** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 2:01 pm

Rick Denney wrote: What if it's the woman who doesn't bathe? How will you achieve consensus on that one?

I find that men, by and large, seek to achieve consensus as well. But they use different arguments--arguments based what is objectively correct, rather than what is based on how they feel about it. Of course, I may be thinking of engineers rather than men. The most uncooperative people I've ever met have been engineers who are asked to something they think is sub-optimal and women who are asked to submerge their feelings for the good of the product.

Rick "whose wife bathes, just for the record" Denney

Well, that apparently is where I am in the middle, being a female engineer. I gots both ways of doing stuff, you know? And pretty clearly understand and sympathize with both sides.

If it is the wife who does not bathe....I would suggest exactly the same solution, assuming she desires the type of attention she is not getting due to being unclean. However, it is more likely that she is being unclean on purpose to avoid that kind of attention, averages being the way they are. In that case.....I don't have a suggestion I can think of right now. I doubt thowing her in the pool with some soap would have the desired end result.

And Rick, can you imagine how uncooperative I would be if I were asked to both submerge my feelings AND do something that is sub-optimal?

Mary Ann, whose partner also does bathe, but who found the example amusing, due to a story told her by a co-worker at work, whose spouse found something he did disgusting, and he was suffering the consequences. It's the end result that matters!! You just do what works. I advised him to stop doing what he was doing, illogical as her stance was from his point of view, and he was happy with the result.

MaryAnn · Post by **MaryAnn** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 2:06 pm

Ah well, on the heat.....I keep my house at 64, a compromise from the 62 I kept it at for decades. I really hate spending money to just burn gas up. Bfriend complains about it but refuses to take off his sandals and wear shoes and socks. And he keeps his little mitts off the thermostat too, because I'm paying for the heat.

MA, who owns lots of big fuzzy sweaters.

TubaRay · Post by **TubaRay** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 4:41 pm

Watch out, Doc! Now, let's see...sweaters, bikinis...I believe you have accurately assessed the situation here in most of Texas.

TubaRay · Post by **TubaRay** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 7:24 pm

Hey! RA. Shhhhh! Tell everyone how terrible things are here. Don't let the secret out. A lot of folks think we're all just a bunch of cowboy(not the Dallas type). If they want to believe this, just let them.

TubaRay · Post by **TubaRay** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 8:39 am

Each to his own, Scott.

As far as I know, Ken, we were the only TubeNetters at the TubaMeister Christmas on Sat.

ThomasDodd · Post by **ThomasDodd** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 9:53 am

MaryAnn wrote:And Rick, can you imagine how uncooperative I would be if I were asked to both submerge my feelings AND do something that is sub-optimal?

That is a horifying thought...

ThomasDodd · Post by **ThomasDodd** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 9:57 am

Doc wrote: in fact, IT WAS!)

I'm wainting for Texas to exercize it's right to leave the US. Once it looks like it'll happen, I'll move. Just not back to Houston

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