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There's something I need to get off my chest to you all. I am a closet trombonist. I majored in trombone during my (not too sucessful) stint in college, and haven't touched it much since. My wife is the chairperson for our local summer concert series, and one of her duties is to book bands. One of the groups that sent us an info packet was a group called The Jazzbones, which consists, ironically enough, of five trombones and rhythm. The guy who runs the band invited me to sit in on a sightreading session of stuff for ten trombones and rhythm, so last week I dug my 1921 Conn out of the closet, dusted off the old Bordogni book, and made a pretty good attempt at getting my chops back. Last night was the session, and I must say, I had an amazing time. I did feel a bit inferior (especially on some of the charts that were in tenor clef), but I held my own, and I had forgotten how much I missed ensemble playing.

Hello, my name is Jim and I play trombone.

Sounds like it was a lot of fun. No need to hide in the closet.

If you had said saxophone I may have organized the villagers to get out their pitchforks and torches.

Jeffrey Hicks wrote:If you had said saxophone I may have organized the villagers to get out their pitchforks and torches.

Now, now -- no need to resort to violins!

Who can play trombone in a closet!? I mean, you have to have more room just for the slide!!

windshieldbug wrote:Who can play trombone in a closet!? I mean, you have to have more room just for the slide!!

So THAT'S why it wouldn't work...

windshieldbug wrote:Who can play trombone in a closet!? I mean, you have to have more room just for the slide!!

It's a valve trombone.

Or a long, long narrow closet!

bloke wrote:

Greg wrote:What's the definition of a gentleman?
Someone who knows how to play the ******** but chooses not to.

along with avoiding coarse language and also avoiding ending sentences with prepositions...

"A preposition is invariably (and inescapably) the worst of all possible words to end a sentence with."

-- (widely, if not accurately, attributed to Anomalous )

Kevin Hendrick wrote:

bloke wrote:

Greg wrote:What's the definition of a gentleman?
Someone who knows how to play the ******** but chooses not to.

along with avoiding coarse language and also avoiding ending sentences with prepositions...

"A preposition is invariably (and inescapably) the worst of all possible words to end a sentence with."

-- (widely, if not accurately, attributed to Anomalous )

Often (mis?)credited to Winston Churchill on the same subject:

"That is a rule up with which I will not put."

Jeffrey Hicks wrote:

"Me... and my, trombone... "

Whew, I thought you might say viola!

Hey, there are some standards here...

(besides, the villagers have to be burning SOMETHING... )

1989...



Hey! Back when I played trombone regularly, I would never admit to my friends that I was REALLY a tubist. Trombone just seemed to get more attention from the ladies. And how cool is it to have your name engraved on your horn? As a brand name!

PS: Yes, that is a Batman pin on my lapel. My mother was an executive at Warner Bros. at the time, and the movie was about to break big. I was such a show-off!

schlepporello wrote:

Dylan King wrote:PS: Yes, that is a Batman pin on my lapel.

OK, I just gotta ask.
Do you still have the pin?
This could be VERY desireable in certain circles.

Nope. I lost it.

If one could somehow fasten this thing onto their overcoat...

Dylan King wrote: If one could somehow fasten this thing onto their overcoat...

I'll bet you'd need a 'tuba' glue!

Greg wrote: At least it has a bracket for a parade lyre. That's convenient.

Well, thank God for THAT! Otherwise it would be REALLY awkward to march with...

OldsRecording wrote:

Greg wrote: At least it has a bracket for a parade lyre. That's convenient.

Well, thank God for THAT! Otherwise it would be REALLY awkward to march with...

Oh, you don't march with it... you mount the parade ON it!

This is quickly becoming a parade-charade.