TubeNet

Gittin' tired of climbin' the telephone pole to use the phone just to find out the party line is busy.

lack of eloquence in using the English language

Roy will learn you some eloquence.
http://roydmercer.com

Here's a silly question...
Have you gone to "Wally-World" (walmart) and looked into Tracfone?
I'm using that here in the Cincinnati area, works just fine.
Looks like as long as you are not headed south-east you should be okay even into the eastern half of New Mexico.

Two words: satellite phone

Of course, if you are doing this to save money...