My Complaint About Wade

[sc_curtis]

My complaint about Steve Curtis

Okay, let's do it. Let's discuss the programmatic foundations of Steve Curtis's saturnine fibs in detail. The key point of the following exposition is that Steve's subordinates have demonstrated brutally, horribly, and with great terror how they will combine, in a rare mixture, bestial cruelty and an inconceivable gift for lying. His acolytes probably don't realize that because it's not mentioned in the funny papers or in the movies. Nevertheless, Steve's judgmental utterances leave the current power structure untouched while simultaneously killing countless children through starvation and disease. Are these children his enemies? As you ponder the answer to that question, consider that it's easy for armchair philosophers to theorize about him and about hypothetical solutions to our Steve problem. It's an entirely more difficult matter, however, when one considers that his hastily mounted campaigns just don't stand up. Why do I tell you this? Because these days, no one else has the guts to.

Steve is completely gung-ho about racialism because he lacks more pressing soapbox issues. Given that the confusion that he creates is desirable and convenient to our national enemies, it stands to reason that if Steve believes that some people deserve to feel safe while others do not, then it's obvious why he thinks that the rules don't apply to him. I do not have the time, in one sitting, to go into the long answer as to why I am shocked and utterly appalled that he could voice the sorts of gross lies and historical misrepresentations that he so often does. But the short answer is that he wants to tinker about with a lot of halfway prescriptions. Such intolerance is felt by all people, from every background. For a variety of reasons, some strategic, some ideological, some attitudinal, and all of them wrong, contumacious schmoes stir up trouble. I like to think I'm a reasonable person but you just can't reason with quixotic finks. It's been tried. They don't understand, they can't understand, they don't want to understand, and they will die without understanding why all we want is for them not to brandish the word "predisadvantageously" (as it is commonly spelled) to hoodwink people into believing that at birth every living being is assigned a celestial serial number or frequency power spectrum.

It is probably unwise to say this loudly, but this is a very real and serious concern. I, not being one of the many birdbrained self-promoters of this world, challenge him to move from his broad derogatory generalizations to specific instances to prove otherwise. I want you to know that Steve's is the prototypical face of fascism. Knowing, as they say, is half the battle. What remains is to counteract the subtle, but pervasive, social message that says that embracing a system of neocolonialism will make everything right with the world. Help me speak out against behavior and speech that is intended to usher in the beginning of an unctuous new era of sadism. Join your hands with mine in this, the greatest cause of our time.

[windshieldbug]

My complaint about Michael Keller

Allow me to introduce myself. I'm the founder of the Anti-Michael Keller Society. In this letter, I will tell you what made me form such an organization and how I plan to use it to prescribe a course of action. To get immediately to the point, what we have been imparting to Michael Keller -- or what he has been eliciting from us -- is a half-submerged, barely intended logic, contaminated by wishes and tendencies we prefer not to acknowledge. His list of sins is long and each one deserves more space than I have here. Therefore, rather than describe each one individually, I'll summarize by stating that it's easy enough to hate Michael any day of the week on general principles. But now I'll tell you about some very specific things that Michael is up to, things that ought to make a real Michael-hater out of you. First off, even when he isn't lying, Michael's using facts, emphasizing facts, bearing down on facts, sliding off facts, quietly ignoring facts, and, above all, interpreting facts in a way that will enable him to usher in the rule of the Antichrist and the apocalyptic end times.

Imagine getting a dollar every time Michael said he wouldn't vandalize our neighborhoods but did so anyway. You'd be very, very rich. According to him, he can make all of our problems go away merely by sprinkling some sort of magic, pink, pixie dust over everything that he considers self-centered or callous. He might as well be reading tea leaves or tossing chicken bones on the floor for divination about what's true and what isn't. Maybe then Michael would realize that by allowing him to tear down everything that can possibly be regarded as a support of cultural elevation we are selling our souls for dross. Instead, we should be striving to even the score. Thus, in summing up, we can establish the following: 1) The only thing bigger than the chip on Michael Keller's shoulder is the grossness of his sentiments, and 2) he hates, with a pure and perfect hatred, all those who throw down the gauntlet and challenge his encomiasts to work together towards a shared vision.

[brianggilbert]

My complaint about Michael Keller

Allow me to introduce myself. I'm the founder of the Anti-Michael Keller Society. In this letter, I will tell you what made me form such an organization and how I plan to use it to prescribe a course of action. To get immediately to the point, what we have been imparting to Michael Keller -- or what he has been eliciting from us -- is a half-submerged, barely intended logic, contaminated by wishes and tendencies we prefer not to acknowledge. His list of sins is long and each one deserves more space than I have here. Therefore, rather than describe each one individually, I'll summarize by stating that it's easy enough to hate Michael any day of the week on general principles. But now I'll tell you about some very specific things that Michael is up to, things that ought to make a real Michael-hater out of you. First off, even when he isn't lying, Michael's using facts, emphasizing facts, bearing down on facts, sliding off facts, quietly ignoring facts, and, above all, interpreting facts in a way that will enable him to usher in the rule of the Antichrist and the apocalyptic end times.

Imagine getting a dollar every time Michael said he wouldn't vandalize our neighborhoods but did so anyway. You'd be very, very rich. According to him, he can make all of our problems go away merely by sprinkling some sort of magic, pink, pixie dust over everything that he considers self-centered or callous. He might as well be reading tea leaves or tossing chicken bones on the floor for divination about what's true and what isn't. Maybe then Michael would realize that by allowing him to tear down everything that can possibly be regarded as a support of cultural elevation we are selling our souls for dross. Instead, we should be striving to even the score. Thus, in summing up, we can establish the following: 1) The only thing bigger than the chip on Michael Keller's shoulder is the grossness of his sentiments, and 2) he hates, with a pure and perfect hatred, all those who throw down the gauntlet and challenge his encomiasts to work together towards a shared vision.

I saw this Mike Keller guy kick a puppy once... No lie...

[Todd S. Malicoate]

My complaint about Todd S. Malicoate

It's unlikely that this letter will win me many friends or even garner much attention. However, writing it is the only way I know to debunk the nonsense spouted by Todd S. Malicoate's apparatchiks. The first thing I want to bring up is that Todd's teachings emblematize an increasing deturpation of cultural standards and a triumph of the meretricious. Do I blame society for this? No, I blame Todd. His belief systems constitute an instigation to turn a deaf ear to need and suffering. We can therefore extrapolate that if I want to contract leprosy and be forced to live out my benighted days shunned by humanity, ringing a bell, and shying away from sharps and open flames, that should be my prerogative. I unequivocally don't need him forcing me to.

If I understand Todd's monographs correctly, then there is a problem here. A very large, impolitic, wicked problem. I have a problem with Todd's use of the phrase, "We all know that...". With this phrase, he doesn't need to prove his claim that he answers to no one; he merely accepts it as fact. To put it another way, he claims that his analects are Right with a capital R. I warrant that the absurdities within that claim speak for themselves although I should add that if you can make any sense out Todd's subhuman platitudes then you must have gotten higher marks in school than I did.

Todd has a vested interest in maintaining the myths that keep his peuplade loyal to him. His principal myth is that the existence and perpetuation of Lysenkoism is its own moral justification. The truth is that Todd either is or elects to be ignorant of scientific principles and methods. He even intentionally misuses scientific terminology to obstruct various things. Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Of course, if Todd had learned anything from history, he'd know that if he were to use more accessible language then a larger number of people would be able to understand what he's saying. The downside for Todd, of course, is that a larger number of people would also understand that our path is set. By this, I mean that in order to detail the specific steps and objectives needed to thwart Todd's gutless schemes, we must express our concerns about his homicidal morals. I consider that requirement a small price to pay because mankind needs to do more to deal with the relevant facts. Understand, I am not condemning mankind for not doing enough; I am merely stating that given the amount of misinformation that Todd is circulating, I must truly point out that he doesn't want us to know about his plans to create a beachhead for organized imperialism. Otherwise, we might do something about that. The facts are in: What we see today is a greater than normal manifestation of mean-spirited traits in Todd S. Malicoate's fairy tales.

[tbn.al]

You guys really do have far too much time on your hands.

[TubaRay]

You guys really do have far too much time on your hands.

No kidding!(He says shaking his head)

[Rick Denney]

If you guys wanted to really impress people, you'd write your own self-hate.

For example:

Rick Denney is a brainless twit. He has consistently undermined all valuable expressions within his limited grasp, having sucked the life out of every engagement to which he was a party. His concern for his own well-being ahead of all others is as famously excessive as his lack of regard for his own bodily emanations. He consistently causes young ladies to seek refuge with all sense of urgency, and mothers who love their children to exercise all possible means to prevent their coming into contact with Rick Denney. Men have been known to shield their ladies from coming to near this noisome pest. Even though Rick Denney has indoor plumbing, he does not always use it. His offensiveness is oppressive to all people of good will. He incorrectly types the surnames of those who have not earned his scorn, though they mask their true identities using aliases (such as "windshieldbug") in vain attempt to prevent Rick Denney from knowing even their given names. His opinion of his own intellect greatly exceeds any demonstration of such, which is routinely exceeded by that of a common gnat. He opposes all dignity and order, eschewing the wisdom of Boethius while eating hot dogs instead of selling them. He knows how to spell pusillanimous, but demonstrates pusillanimity by remaining out of reach of those who receive his scorn for spelling it incorrectly. And he is a Republican.

We must, by any means necessary, prevent the infection of good society by exposure to Rick Denney. Man the pitchforks! Raise the Shire! The time has come to rid society of this pestilence! Awake from your slumber before it is too late!

Rick "attack!" Denney

[Rick Denney]

Rick,

You know by now we aren't here to impress people. You are more than capable, but we commoners are not. That's why you're the Resident Genius, and I am but a mere ***.

A "mere" ***? I think not. A supreme ***. A superior ***. Yea, even THE ***. Do not sell yourself short.

Rick "who would often rather be an *** than a genius, and who generally fails at being either one" Denney

[Stefan]

Allow me to introduce myself...

Oh wait, I have to practice

[Jeffrey Hicks]

Doesn't anyone get the point? It doesn't matter for squat that it is hard to ignore the impact of Mr. Jeffrey C Hicks's misconduct on our children, our culture, and our national character. What's far more relevant is that Jeffrey's convictions are contrary to international human rights and humanitarian standards. In the rest of this letter, I will use history and science (in the Hegelian sense) to prove that it is widely known and beyond dispute that it would be nugatory to discuss Jeffrey's screeds without first mentioning that radicalism is the principal ingredient in the ideological flypaper Jeffrey uses to attract perverted, libidinous vandals into his terrorist organization. Incidentally, he has, on a number of occasions, expressed a desire to sugarcoat the past and dispense false optimism for the future. On all of these occasions, I submitted to the advice of my friends, who assured me that it may seem difficult at first to compare, contrast, and identify the connections among different types of witless, mentally deficient isolationism. It is. But I receive a great deal of correspondence from people all over the world. And one of the things that impresses me about it is the massive number of people who realize that it is easy to see faults in others. But it takes perseverance to honor our nation's glorious mosaic of cultures and ethnicities.

Few things in life are as enjoyable as watching newly enlightened people lay out some ideas and interpretations that hold the potential for insight. Have you noticed that that hasn't been covered at all by the mainstream media? Maybe they're afraid that Jeffrey will retaliate by turning freaks of nature loose against us good citizens. Everything I've said so far is by way of introduction to the key point I want to make in this letter. My key point is that some people aver that sometimes, what you don't know can hurt you. Others profess that Jeffrey, serving as judge, jury, and executioner, has decreed that anyone who dares to bring meaning, direction, and purpose into our lives can expect to suffer hair loss and tooth decay as a result. In the interest of clearing up the confusion I'll make the following observation: Jeffrey is interpersonally exploitative. That is, he takes advantage of others to achieve his own flippant ends. Why does he do that? There aren't enough hours in the day to fully answer that question but consider this: Jeffrey keeps stating over and over again that the rigors that his victims have been called upon to undergo have been amply justified in the sphere of concrete achievement. This drumbeat refrain is clearly not consistent with the facts on the ground -- facts such as that Jeffrey should not brand me as venom-spouting. Not now, not ever.

I hate to say this, but Jeffrey's thralls argue that he is clean and bright and pure inside. These are the same mindless, unctuous perverts who introduce disease, ignorance, squalor, idleness, and want into affluent neighborhoods. This is no coincidence; Jeffrey's occasional demonstrations of benevolence are not genuine. Nor are his promises. In fact, people tell me that the mess that Jeffrey has left behind is sometimes hard to see but eventually will be impossible to ignore. And the people who tell me this are correct, of course.

Jeffrey fervently believes that a totalitarian dictatorship is the best form of government we could possibly have. This shows that he is not merely mistaken about one little fact among millions of facts but that I want to see all of us working together to tell Jeffrey what we all think of him -- and boy, do I have some choice words I'd like to use. Yes, this is an idealistic approach to actualizing our restorative goals. Nevertheless, you should realize that some day, Jeffrey's empty-headed votaries may ask you why you think it's a good idea to break the spell of great expectations that now binds the worst sorts of fastidious monomaniacs there are to Jeffrey. If you're too stunned to answer immediately they'll answer for you, probably stating that ebola, AIDS, mad-cow disease, and the hantavirus were intentionally bioengineered by militant leeches for the purpose of population reduction. You should therefore be prepared to tell these beer-guzzling killjoys that unlike Jeffrey, when I make a mistake I'm willing to admit it. Consequently, if -- and I'm bending over backwards to maintain the illusion of "innocent until proven guilty" -- he were not actually responsible for trying to make our lives an endless treadmill of government interferences while providing few real benefits to our health and happiness, then I'd stop saying that it's tyrannical for Jeffrey to provide the pretext for police-state measures. Or perhaps I should say, it's callous.

Don't give Jeffrey's memoranda a credibility they don't deserve. This is neither a document written in anger nor something I am being paid to write. However true that is, Jeffrey uses highfalutin terms like "counterexcommunication" and "epididymodeferentectomy" to conceal his plans to boss others around. In this scheme of his, a mass of grandiloquent words falls upon the facts like soft snow, blurring the outlines and covering up all the details. We become unable to see that I am aware that many people may object to the severity of my language. But is there no cause for severity? Naturally, I think that there is because if Jeffrey gets his way, we will soon be engulfed in a Dark Age of metagrobolism and indescribable horror. That's why I'm telling you that his announcements are geared toward the continuation of social stratification under the rubric of "tradition". Funny, that was the same term that Jeffrey's satraps once used to hammer away at the characters of all those who will not help him tip the scales in his favor.

Note that Jeffrey claims to have data supporting his assertion that profits come before people. Naturally, he insists that he can't actually show us that data -- for some unspecified reason, of course. My guess is that he's hiding something. Maybe he's hiding the fact that he is utterly mistaken if he believes that his ploys will spread enlightenment to the masses, nurture democracy, reestablish the bonds of community, bring us closer to God, and generally work to the betterment of Man and society. As anyone living above the Earth's surface knows by now, by refusing to act, by refusing to look into the future and consider what will happen if we let him win support by encapsulating frustrations and directing them toward unpopular scapegoats, we are giving him the power to scrawl pro-jujuism graffiti over everything. Lying and cheating is second nature to Jeffrey, but, as you know, just because Jeffrey and his surrogates don't like being labelled as "ungrateful ne'er-do-wells" or "slatternly thought police" doesn't mean the shoe doesn't fit. One of his favorite tricks is to create a problem and then to offer the solution. Naturally, it's always his solutions that grant him the freedom to accelerate the natural tendency of civilization to devolve from order to chaos, liberty to tyranny, and virtue to vice, never the original problem.

Jeffrey does not tolerate any view that differs from his own. Rather, he discredits and discards those people who contradict him along with the ideas that they represent. That fact is simply inescapable to any thinking man or woman. "Thinking" is the key word in the previous sentence. I can't predict the future, but I do know this: It's easy to tell if Jeffrey's lying. If his lips are moving, he's lying. We must overcome the fears that beset us every day of our lives. We must overcome the fear that Jeffrey will ruin people's lives. And to overcome these fears, we must build a new understanding that can transport us to tomorrow.

The fact that Jeffrey's magic-bullet explanations are part of a larger attack on the very notion of meritocracy and quality is distressing, to say the least. By Jeffrey's standards, if you have morals, believe that character counts, and actually raise your own children -- let alone teach them to be morally fit -- you're definitely an unstable scoundrel. My standards -- and I suspect yours as well -- are quite different from his. For instance, I obviously assert that I stand by what I've written before, that Jeffrey's "I'm right and you're wrong" attitude is censorious because it leaves no room for compromise.

One could truthfully say that Jeffrey would have us believe that fatuitous anarchists should be given absolute authority to insult my intelligence. But saying that would miss the real point, which is that I don't need to tell you that he is talking out of his posterior. That should be self-evident. What is less evident is that if you think that the average working-class person can't see through his chicanery then you're suffering from very serious nearsightedness. You're focusing too much on what Jeffrey wants you to see and failing to observe many other things of much greater importance such as that he wants to make empty promises. Who does he think he is? I mean, there is a format he should follow for his next literary endeavor. It involves a topic sentence and supporting facts.

Don't misunderstand me; I'm not saying that this is the best of all possible worlds and that Jeffrey is the best of all possible people. In fact, he constantly insists that his wisecracks won't be used for political retribution. But he contradicts himself when he says that he has a duty to conceal the facts and lie to the rest of us, under oath if necessary, perjuring himself to help disseminate the True Faith of phallocentrism. Is this anything other than superficial Trotskyism? The answer is obvious if you happen to notice that while he and other laughable beguilers sometimes differ on the details and scale of their upcoming campaigns of terror they never fail to agree on the basic principle and substance. Hence, it is imperative that you understand that this is not Nazi Germany or Soviet Russia, where the state would be eager to propound ideas that are widely perceived as representing outright interdenominationalism. Not yet, at least. But people often get the impression that distasteful jackanapes and Jeffrey's allies are separate entities. Not so. When one catches cold, the other sneezes. As proof, note that I've known some duffers who were impressively mischievous. However, Jeffrey is loquacious and that trumps mischievous every time. A final word: Mr. Jeffrey C Hicks eschews his commitments to responsibility and truth in favor of a breathless and drooling enthusiasm for larrikinism.