Coming home for the final time
Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 6:08 am
Tough story to tell, but gotta put it down.
Today I bring my wife of 25 years 337 days home from ICU at Wright-Patterson AFB. She's been battling breast cancer for the last 5 years.
She's no stranger to the big C. She whupped ovarian cancer in 1993. No Chemo, No Radiation...just surgery. What's more she had our second child after.
She found her lump in January 2004 and in Feb it was diagnosed positively as cancer. This time she had to undergo a lumpectomy, radiation, and chemo. Took the better part of a year to get everything done, but she showed clear....2 for 2! But 6 months later at her first routine follow-up they found it had matastacized on her sacrum (the bones at the base of the spine that connects the hips making up the pelvis. It had mingled in amung the nerves leading to her legs and was in-operable. This time just a BIG dose of radiation and right into chemo....
Now I was scared more than ever before. I had never given it a thought she couldn't beat the other two, but this had me worried. I still thought she could pull it off.
After a couple of weeks, they did a full body scan and found it had also attatched to her liver. Now I was crushed. Because of the type of cancer, and all she had been through so far, this was in-operable as well. They changed her chemo. Over the last 2+ years she has been on 5 different chemo drugs I can remember. Some held the tumors steady, a couple even shrank the major ones. But noting could stop the damn thing.
The woman is a rock and through it all she kept up with the kids in Band (son), Girlscouts (daughter), family trips, church volunteer work, and all the day to day things. But the last 4 months have been telling. She's been on a slow roller coaster of bad and good periods. But the last 3 weeks have been all down hill. She went in for a routine check up on the 2nd and they put her directly in ICU. Her chemo doc gave her "maybe a few weeks". The ICU doc had it a 2 days. Her summation was along the lines of "screw these guys", and assures us she will get better.
Over the week she has started to leave us. ( but still denies she is )
Last night she reached the point where they could take her off of all the IVs they had in her (8 at one count). This morning she comes home. We have hospice coming over for the first 24 hours and maybe the first 72.
This woman is amazing - why didn't I appreciate this fact years earlier - the out pouring from friends who are now located throughout this nation and in several places world wide is phenominal.
We are here because we knew it was going to be tough at times and 80% of the family is within a 2 hour drive. Now this factor that decided between a job in Amarillo and Cincinatti is critical - for me.
Had the serious talk the other night with the kids.
My son (nearly 17) was not suprised and is being strong (whether for me, his mom, or himself I don't know). But I am making sure to keep him involved in everything with his music and anything else. He wanted me to know he's not trying to hide his emotions, but just isn't sure what to do/feel.
My daughter (nearly 11) took it much harder. But we spend an hour crying/hugging/talking. I let her know what I was feeling. We talked about how it was okay to be scared, to be mad, to be sad, afraid, confused. But I also let her know it was okay to be happy and not be guilty over that.
Anyway - today she is coming home in preparation for her final home.
She's still saying she'll whup this. And like the character in Monte Python and the Holy Grail, letting everyone know that "She's not dead yet!"
God I lover her!
Today I bring my wife of 25 years 337 days home from ICU at Wright-Patterson AFB. She's been battling breast cancer for the last 5 years.
She's no stranger to the big C. She whupped ovarian cancer in 1993. No Chemo, No Radiation...just surgery. What's more she had our second child after.
She found her lump in January 2004 and in Feb it was diagnosed positively as cancer. This time she had to undergo a lumpectomy, radiation, and chemo. Took the better part of a year to get everything done, but she showed clear....2 for 2! But 6 months later at her first routine follow-up they found it had matastacized on her sacrum (the bones at the base of the spine that connects the hips making up the pelvis. It had mingled in amung the nerves leading to her legs and was in-operable. This time just a BIG dose of radiation and right into chemo....
Now I was scared more than ever before. I had never given it a thought she couldn't beat the other two, but this had me worried. I still thought she could pull it off.
After a couple of weeks, they did a full body scan and found it had also attatched to her liver. Now I was crushed. Because of the type of cancer, and all she had been through so far, this was in-operable as well. They changed her chemo. Over the last 2+ years she has been on 5 different chemo drugs I can remember. Some held the tumors steady, a couple even shrank the major ones. But noting could stop the damn thing.
The woman is a rock and through it all she kept up with the kids in Band (son), Girlscouts (daughter), family trips, church volunteer work, and all the day to day things. But the last 4 months have been telling. She's been on a slow roller coaster of bad and good periods. But the last 3 weeks have been all down hill. She went in for a routine check up on the 2nd and they put her directly in ICU. Her chemo doc gave her "maybe a few weeks". The ICU doc had it a 2 days. Her summation was along the lines of "screw these guys", and assures us she will get better.
Over the week she has started to leave us. ( but still denies she is )
Last night she reached the point where they could take her off of all the IVs they had in her (8 at one count). This morning she comes home. We have hospice coming over for the first 24 hours and maybe the first 72.
This woman is amazing - why didn't I appreciate this fact years earlier - the out pouring from friends who are now located throughout this nation and in several places world wide is phenominal.
We are here because we knew it was going to be tough at times and 80% of the family is within a 2 hour drive. Now this factor that decided between a job in Amarillo and Cincinatti is critical - for me.
Had the serious talk the other night with the kids.
My son (nearly 17) was not suprised and is being strong (whether for me, his mom, or himself I don't know). But I am making sure to keep him involved in everything with his music and anything else. He wanted me to know he's not trying to hide his emotions, but just isn't sure what to do/feel.
My daughter (nearly 11) took it much harder. But we spend an hour crying/hugging/talking. I let her know what I was feeling. We talked about how it was okay to be scared, to be mad, to be sad, afraid, confused. But I also let her know it was okay to be happy and not be guilty over that.
Anyway - today she is coming home in preparation for her final home.
She's still saying she'll whup this. And like the character in Monte Python and the Holy Grail, letting everyone know that "She's not dead yet!"
God I lover her!
I'll pray for you and your family as well. Yes, everybody else has said the same thing, but one cannot have too many people praying for them.