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bloke wrote:What is the best length, shape, and diameter of tuba bell from which to shoot those giant bottle rockets...and how best to remove that black stuff from the inside of the bell when we're done shooting them? What is the best thing to use to prop up the tuba?

I'd say that an unbent leadpipe might be best. It would wobble around too much with a tuba.

What is the best style of baritone for mixing up frozen daiquiris...bell up, or bell front ?

The baritones I have seen have generally been covered with so much skank that I don't know that I would want to drink out of one. Why don't you ask Goodgigs if he could make you one out of plastic. It's much more sanitary.

Is it safe to launch spinners off the the shank of an acrylic mouthpiece?

Sure. Why not? As long as it isn't one of those expensive 'sparkle gold' Kellybergs, ot should be OK

Don't forget to use the sousaphone-style grill to keep unwanted objects from being lodged inside your horn.

Should auld horn maintenance be forgot,
And ne'er a brush to find,
Should auld horn maintenance be forgot,
Be amazed at what y'll find!

Can't rightly say which bell would be the best, but I am certain an O-99 would be the worst possible choice! Unless of course you buff it out and relacquer it when you are done.

Personally I would use the baritone for the bottle (bell) rockets and the tuba for the daiquris....

If you find an old silver baritone with alot of tarnish on it you wont notice the black from the rockets.

If you really want to be part of the action or use it as a mobile laucher you could use a helicon for the bottle rockets.

A friend had a big Cerveny, with pitch so tricky he had a kicker put on the main slide. It ended up being a T-bar near the top bow, made from t-bone outer slides.

With a hole in the top, it would've been perfect for the 1812, to shoot rockets.

Don't shoot bottle rockets, put rockets on bottles!

I"d suggest not asking such questions on a public forum.

Don't use anything as noble as a tuba for launching bottle rockets. There are plenty of alto horns around for such purposes.

i would volunteer trumpets and trombones...granted, i like my trombones..but they would make good rocket launchers...and trumpets aren't really good for much...
horns would be good to destroy (don't get me wrong, i like to see a horn get blown up as much as the next guy)..but horns tend to be bent, pointed backwards, and we're often stuck sitting behind them

windshieldbug wrote:Don't shoot bottle rockets, put rockets on bottles!

That works! In fact, this (apparently) is NASA's latest launcher concept for the new Ares-1/Orion (Shuttle replacement):



Happy New Year!

I wouldn't know - if I don't have a gig, I always go to bed early New Year's eve. I figure if I don't stay up and count down to the new year, it won't come. Hasn't worked yet, though

I'll never forget my wife's tantrum the day after my brother and his three boys launched a few hundred bottle rockets using all her potted plants and ferns on our front porch as launchers. She was home alone the next day and had to pick up all those sticks by her onesies after she found all those blackened plants.
Anybody starts a fire down my tuba or anywhere in it's vicinity would get what my wife did to my poor brother when he got back home.

MythBusters Episode 75: "Myths Redux"

"REVISITED: A trombonist had put a firecracker into his mute, and at the final note of the 1812 Overture, launched the mute, striking the conductor and knocking him back into the audience. In addition, the bell of the trombone was blown wide open and the slide was launched. (From episode 11)

re-busted

The re-test involved placing simulated lips against the trombone’s mouthpiece so as to seal that end. This still failed to cause the slide to fly off the instrument. They only achieved the feat by soldering a plug into the mouthpiece, completely sealing it shut."

windshieldbug wrote:They only achieved the feat by soldering a plug into the mouthpiece, completely sealing it shut."

I wonder when someone is going to offer this as a 'hot mod'?

Tuba Guy wrote:(in retrospect, not a good post, not sure how to delete it)

Unfortunately, I don't think you can.

OldsRecording wrote:
Unfortunately, I don't think you can.

haha, you found the one thing i left at school...well, toothpaste and my tuner...both quite important, i'd say