TubeNet

Working for an insurance/financial corporation in the Philippines really raises everyone's awareness of cultural differences. Rather than put this up on a separate website, I'm going to do this quiz the old fashioned way... You have to write out the answers. Good luck!

Remember, these questions have to do with how the Filipinos view the world...

1. How many syllables does chocolate have? What word is used for its abbreviation?

2. Who is Joe?

3. What is the Filipino English term for rest room?

4. What is ube?

5. If an international favorite food is described as "Filipino style," what does that mean? I'll help you here... Is it spicy, sweet, greasy, or sour?

6. Why is there no toilet paper in the room mention in question #3?

7. What is LBM?

8. What is diarrhea? Why do doctors get distressed if you tell them you have it?

9. What is an American (to anyone age 50 or older)?

10. What do you call a man who is unemployed at the age of 45 or older?

2. Who is Joe?

American man or, perhaps an American serviceman?

5. If an international favorite food is described as "Filipino style," what does that mean? I'll help you here... Is it spicy, sweet, greasy, or sour?

I'm guessing but the Filipino food cooked by Filipinos I've had has been pretty sweet so I will say sweet.

7. What is LBM?

Little Brown Man?

bloke wrote:11/ How does one spell "Philipppines" ?

Blame that on Internet cafe keyboards with stuck Ps.

1. Chocolate is pronounced, "choke-coal-eight." It is abbreviated as "choco" (choke-o). Cocoa means unsweetened chocolate, so when a Filipino went to California and saw "Cocoa" (meaning hot chocolate) on a coffee shop menu, the poor man thought we drink some pretty nasty stuff (but they put chocolate drink powder in plain water without milk... EWWW!)

2. Any white man. It comes from G.I. Joe. Most Filipinos haven't seen a G.I. stationed in their hometown since long before Clark Air Force Base and Subic Bay closed down two decades ago.

3. Comfort Room. It's abbreviated C.R. When the same man mentioned in #1 visited a school and asked, "Where is the C.R.?" he was shown to the computer room. He was amazed that Americans have a Macintosh eMac for each stall.

4. Ube is yam. It's purple. It's used for making ice cream and pastries.

5. Sickeningly sweet. I bought some popcorn at the mall a couple of weeks ago and ordered it with only "butter and salt." It was so sweet I could feel it. Wait until you taste the spaghetti and macaroni.

6. No toilet paper is used by most Filipinos. Water and the hands are the general order. In many foreign countries where Filipinos work as expatriates, there are rules for the use of toilet paper and many are fired as a result on not using the important paper.

7. LBM is "loose bowel movement." We call it diarrhea in the United States. The first time I heard a woman tell me her daughter had LBM, I was really impressed. I went through the LBM (long Bachelor of Music) program at my university many years ago!

8. Dysentery. The word itself says enough. A woman went to a convention in Singapore and bragged about her strong Filipina constituency. She said all the Singaporeans ate some bad food and had diarrhea. She then said she ate it, too, but only had LBM (see previous answer).

9. Any white person. Overseas Filipinos don't understand why many of the Americans living in Europe don't speak English but speak perfect German, French, Dutch, etc. They have a great deal of problems understanding Barack Obama. (Who says prejudice doesn't exist in Asia?)

10. Retired. The Philippines still lists age and sex preferences on its job ads. It's rare to see any job offered to anyone over 45. So, even without money, for the most part, the man will probably never have substantial work again. It's considered rude to have a boss younger than an employee. Retirement at 65 is mandatory.


Here is a typical want ad:

PHOTOCHROME PHILS.
A growing and dynamic company engaged in the manufacture of indoor / outdoor signages and silkscreen process for plaques and trophies, and other giveaways.

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE

* Female, not more than 30 years old
* College graduate
* Energetic & aggressive w/ pleasing personality
* Has a track record in the field of sales and customer relations work
preferably in the manufacturing set-up
* Able to meet monthly sales targets; with good moral character
* Computer literate; good communication skills

__________________________________________________________

NB: McDonald's tries to get rid of its workers by age 28.

Pray tell, Bill, how many bottles of San Miguel can you down before losing consciousness?

The macho Filipinos tell you San Miguel is for sissies. Real men drink Red Horse. They call it "premium strong beer." Americans call it "malt liquor." It tastes like beer with witch hazel mixed into it.

No. Being around four children in my rooming house, I've learned LBM all too well. The kids don't flush the toilet regularly. When I go take an elephant bath, I spend almost 15 minutes descenting the place after flushing the toilet (manually). I'm in the Philippines right now. Not when the troops were there 20+ years ago.

LBFM is a term you'd expect to find on a pron site, not the TubeNet.

One term that DOES come up quite often in the news is MILF. And this has nothing to do with anything you saw in the movie, American Pie. It's the Moro Islamic Liberation Front, a militant group that is responsible for many of the bombings you've probably heard about in the news in many parts of Mindanao.

Yes, Wade... bombs are warm to the touch after they explode...

My future step-daughter was in the Gaisano Mall in Iligan the day after Christmas last year when we got word on the TV that a bomb had exploded there (Iligan is the large city next to Lugait). Her mother and I frantically tried to get her on her cell phone and she said she was there when it happened and it was scary...