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Subject: Stimulus Check


Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an
Economic Stimulus payment.

This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it
using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government
will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase
a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of
China ?
A. Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US
economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

-If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China

-If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to
the Arabs.

-If you purchase a computer, it will go to
India .

-If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to
Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ..

-If you buy a car, it will go to Japan
.
-If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to
Taiwan .

-If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it
will go to management bonuses and they will hide it
offshore.


Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) spending it at yard sales, or

2) going to ball
games, or

3) spending it on prostitutes, or

4) beer or

5) tattoos.


(These are the only American businesses still operating
in the US )


I'm going to go to a ball
game with a tattooed prostitute that I met at a
yard sale and drink beer with her! Yay!

ken k wrote: Instead, keep the money in America by:

4) beer or

Only if you drink Bud.

tbn.al wrote:

ken k wrote: Instead, keep the money in America by:

4) beer or

Only if you drink Bud.

I'll send my money, then, to the Germans and Belgians.

TexTuba wrote:
I'll send my money, then, to the Germans and Belgians.

Please do 'cause a tiny bit of that Belgium money ends up indirectly in my pocketbook.

tbn.al wrote:

ken k wrote: Instead, keep the money in America by:

4) beer or

Only if you drink Bud.

Support your local brewery!!

tbn.al wrote:

ken k wrote: Instead, keep the money in America by:

4) beer or

Only if you drink Bud.

Nope. A-B has been purchased by InBev of Belgium.

I'm saving mine to pay taxes! Tax hikes are sure to come!!

Teubonium wrote:I'm saving mine to pay taxes! Tax hikes are sure to come!!

True! Ironic, isn't it?

iiipopes wrote:

tbn.al wrote:

ken k wrote: Instead, keep the money in America by:

4) beer or

Only if you drink Bud.

Nope. A-B has been purchased by InBev of Belgium.

What was I thinking. I knew that! Oh well, have to resort to Sweetwater. It is a fine brew!

If I live to see that check I plan to buy Yuengling beer, strings for three guitars and a tune-up for my old motorcycle.
I'll have to scuffle up some money at tax time.

A BlokePiece in every tuba, BlokeWashers on every piston.

(And plenty of BlokeJuice for all!)

I guess this policy might help straighten out the general way things go these times:
- whenever You seek proposals from several companies, drop both the two cheapest and most expensive offers.
Most likely, NONE of these can be taken seriously.
- Foreign vs. local beers, aka goods in general: it is MUCH MORE beneficial to Your overall wellbeing (including knowledge of the world) if You choose to drink beer where it´s brewed. Visit the very brewery, if at all possible. There is no brewery where You live ? FOUND ONE !!
- THE general rule: CHEAP is too expensive !! I´ll rather spend 1000 € on shoes that´ll last 20+ years rather than buy Taiwanese SLO at 20 € being disposed of after half a year.
- and finally: If You can´t afford it, there will be other ways to get by. Ever tried reading a book, reviewing Your CD-collection or PLAY WITH YOUR KIDS rather than watching TV ? People DID come up with things to do in their spare time before mass media had been invented.
After all: You won´t need a TV-Dinner, if You can spend EXACTLY THE SAME TIME to prepare and devour "REAL FOOD".

The United States was the world's biggest lender, only a few short decades ago, but has now turned into the biggest debtor. We will soon have to answer for all of our debt.

Proverbs 22:7
The rich rules over the poor, And the borrower is servant to the lender.

When they come for their possessions, it won't be pretty.

Isaiah 1:7
Your country is desolate, Your cities are burned with fire; Strangers devour your land in your presence; And it is desolate, as overthrown by strangers.

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