Do you find this Ironic??

MartyNeilan · Post by **MartyNeilan** » Wed Dec 15, 2004 10:11 pm

Does any else find this ironic?
Posts entitled "question on the serpent" and "Question about women" back to back?

TubaRay · Post by **TubaRay** » Wed Dec 15, 2004 10:47 pm

I vote for #4.

ken k · Post by **ken k** » Wed Dec 15, 2004 11:02 pm

can we ever truly say we know women???????

MaryAnn · Post by **MaryAnn** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 10:03 am

Well, ask away, dudes.
MA, who was a woman last time she checked.

MaryAnn · Post by **MaryAnn** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 10:22 am

Well actually I WOULD tell you the inner sanctum secrets. I may not know them though....I've worked in "traditional male occupations" pretty much all my life, from RV mechanic, motorcycle mechanic, lens-grinder, engineer....tuba player. I can't find much to talk about either in the women/babies/cosmetices/she-said-that area of conversation. But I seem to bridge the gap reasonably well between men and women, understanding both from a somewhat middle position. I agree that a large percentage of men simply don't have a CLUE. Many fall into the habit of just giving her her own way out of not knowing what else to do and trying to keep the peace.
MA

Ricko · Post by **Ricko** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 4:07 pm

A very trusted, Godly and honest woman shared this with me yesterday... it may be useful in this discussion:

Men wonder why they can never win; now we know. For thousands of years,men have tried to understand the Rules when dealing with women.
Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just How it works.

Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies:

*Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are deducted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES:

You make the bed.....+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows....0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
You leave the toilet seat up.....-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty......0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex....-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.....-2

You go out to buy her a treat......+5
In the snow ....+8
But return with beer.....-5
And no treat....-25

You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5
You pummel it with a six iron....+10
It's her cat.....-40

AT THE PARTY:

You stay by her side the entire party.....+1
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy.....-2
Named Tiffany....-4
Tiffany is a dancer.....-10
With breast implants.....-18

HER BIRTHDAY:

You remember her birthday.....0
You buy a card and flowers.....0
You take her out to dinner.....0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.....+1
Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3
It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team.....-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS:

Go with a pal.....0
The pal is happily married.....+1
The pal is single.....-7
He drives a Ferrari.....-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER:

You take her to a movie.....+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
You take her to a movie you like....-2
It's called Death Cop III.....-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.....-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE:

You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it.....+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts.....-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one. too.".....-800

THE BIG QUESTION: She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"

You hesitate in responding.....-10
You reply, "Where?".....-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your ***".....- 100
Any other response.....-20

COMMUNICATION: When she wants to talk about a problem:

You listen, displaying a concerned expression.....0
You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar a experience......+50
You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying well, what do you think I should do?".....- 100
You have fallen asleep....-200

IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH:

You talk.....-100
You don't talk.....-150
You spend time with her......-200
You don't spend time with her.....-500
You seem to be enjoying yourself.....-1000

Game Over - YOU LOSE

TubaRay · Post by **TubaRay** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 5:19 pm

What an awesome post, Ricko. I nominate it for the TubeNet post of the year. How many minus points would I get for that? Would there be additional minus points if I printed a hard copy of the post?

ThomasDodd · Post by **ThomasDodd** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 5:46 pm

TubaRay wrote:What an awesome post, Ricko. I nominate it for the TubeNet post of the year. How many minus points would I get for that? Would there be additional minus points if I printed a hard copy of the post?

I'm taking my wife a copy

-2000 points

TubaRay · Post by **TubaRay** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 6:01 pm

I laughed out loud when I read Thomas' response. I guess I picked up some more negative points. Nothing new there.

MartyNeilan · Post by **MartyNeilan** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 8:02 pm

A couple of years ago, an elderly gentleman who had been married forever told me to remember to say this, no matter the occassion:
"I'm sorry, I was wrong, please forgive me."

jlbreyer · Post by **jlbreyer** » Thu Dec 16, 2004 8:15 pm

Another rule I heard (and use) is:

If you have an argument and YOU win it, you must apologize immediately.

MaryAnn · Post by **MaryAnn** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 10:51 am

Weeelllllll,

I think the point list is hilarious, and there is much truth to it.

Only thing I disagree with, is that it's not about "winning." The major difference between (most) men and (most) women is that men tend to see and act in a heirarchy, while women tend to try to achieve consensus, and are much less heirarchy-oriented. A gaggle of women will not generally pick a leader and follow; they try to all agree on a solution to a problem and then all act on it. In general, and I'm talking of course about myself because I can't get inside another woman's head, if I start a discussion about something I'm unhappy about, what I want is for us to reach a win-win consensus on it, where we're both happy with the result, instead of bending a consternated male to my bidding.

Like, if he does not like to bathe and I find that disgusting, it would be to our mutual benefit if he starts to bathe regularly because I will no longer be disgusted and he will get the kind of attention he wants that he is lacking due to being unclean. See how that is win-win?

MA

TubaRay · Post by **TubaRay** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 10:58 am

"Win-Win" A great concept. Often, but not always possible.

ThomasDodd · Post by **ThomasDodd** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 12:40 pm

MaryAnn wrote: Like, if he does not like to bathe and I find that disgusting, it would be to our mutual benefit if he starts to bathe regularly because I will no longer be disgusted and he will get the kind of attention he wants that he is lacking due to being unclean. See how that is win-win?

See, just like a woman. You call it a comprimise, when you got what you wanted. And resorted to extortion to get it.

We're used to that though

MaryAnn · Post by **MaryAnn** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 2:47 pm

ThomasDodd wrote: See, just like a woman. You call it a comprimise, when you got what you wanted. And resorted to extortion to get it.

We're used to that though

I do believe you missed the joke. Perhaps I was too subtle.

MA

Rick Denney · Post by **Rick Denney** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 4:31 pm

MaryAnn wrote:Like, if he does not like to bathe and I find that disgusting, it would be to our mutual benefit if he starts to bathe regularly because I will no longer be disgusted and he will get the kind of attention he wants that he is lacking due to being unclean. See how that is win-win?

What if it's the woman who doesn't bathe? How will you achieve consensus on that one?

I find that men, by and large, seek to achieve consensus as well. But they use different arguments--arguments based what is objectively correct, rather than what is based on how they feel about it. Of course, I may be thinking of engineers rather than men. The most uncooperative people I've ever met have been engineers who are asked to something they think is sub-optimal and women who are asked to submerge their feelings for the good of the product.

Rick "whose wife bathes, just for the record" Denney

MartyNeilan · Post by **MartyNeilan** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 9:59 pm

Doc wrote:You are thinking of men in general. Logic plays a big role in what we do and how we think.

Reminds me of something the other night - it was in the 20's outside but the mid 70's in the apt. My wife, in t-shirt and shorts, said she was still cold. I, in my long pants and sweater, said I was hot. My wife looks at me like I am stupid and says, "Well put on a t-shirt and turn up the heat!"

Marty "who remembers $800 heat bills in Rochester"

Matt G · Post by **Matt G** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 9:08 am

MartyNeilan wrote:
Doc wrote:You are thinking of men in general. Logic plays a big role in what we do and how we think.
Reminds me of something the other night - it was in the 20's outside but the mid 70's in the apt. My wife, in t-shirt and shorts, said she was still cold. I, in my long pants and sweater, said I was hot. My wife looks at me like I am stupid and says, "Well put on a t-shirt and turn up the heat!"

Marty "who remembers $800 heat bills in Rochester"

She's lucky!

When it is constantly in the 20's up here (quite often) I occasionally move the heat down to 65. My wife is lucky this year, we got a new boiler that works a whole lot better and now i keep it at 68. "Dressing in Layers" has become scripture in my house!

MaryAnn · Post by **MaryAnn** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 2:01 pm

Rick Denney wrote: What if it's the woman who doesn't bathe? How will you achieve consensus on that one?

I find that men, by and large, seek to achieve consensus as well. But they use different arguments--arguments based what is objectively correct, rather than what is based on how they feel about it. Of course, I may be thinking of engineers rather than men. The most uncooperative people I've ever met have been engineers who are asked to something they think is sub-optimal and women who are asked to submerge their feelings for the good of the product.

Rick "whose wife bathes, just for the record" Denney

Well, that apparently is where I am in the middle, being a female engineer. I gots both ways of doing stuff, you know? And pretty clearly understand and sympathize with both sides.

If it is the wife who does not bathe....I would suggest exactly the same solution, assuming she desires the type of attention she is not getting due to being unclean. However, it is more likely that she is being unclean on purpose to avoid that kind of attention, averages being the way they are. In that case.....I don't have a suggestion I can think of right now. I doubt thowing her in the pool with some soap would have the desired end result.

And Rick, can you imagine how uncooperative I would be if I were asked to both submerge my feelings AND do something that is sub-optimal?

Mary Ann, whose partner also does bathe, but who found the example amusing, due to a story told her by a co-worker at work, whose spouse found something he did disgusting, and he was suffering the consequences. It's the end result that matters!! You just do what works. I advised him to stop doing what he was doing, illogical as her stance was from his point of view, and he was happy with the result.

MaryAnn · Post by **MaryAnn** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 2:06 pm

Ah well, on the heat.....I keep my house at 64, a compromise from the 62 I kept it at for decades. I really hate spending money to just burn gas up. Bfriend complains about it but refuses to take off his sandals and wear shoes and socks. And he keeps his little mitts off the thermostat too, because I'm paying for the heat.

MA, who owns lots of big fuzzy sweaters.

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