Tuba Jokes

Benjamin · Post by **Benjamin** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 12:10 am

Hello fellow comedians of the band. I used to play football so I never was as you say a band geek. (Not to hurt any body's feelings for now I join the brotherhood of geeks) Anyways every body knows all these great jokes for their interments but I only know one. Any other Tuba jokes would be nice. Thanks.
Benjamin.

Joke:
Q: What is the range of a Tuba?
A: About 10 yards if youâ€™re strong enough.

Joe Baker · Post by **Joe Baker** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 12:14 am

These two tuba players walk past a bar....
...well, it COULD happen!
_____________________
Joe Baker, who probably doesn't QUITE merit the label "comedian"...

Kevin Hendrick · Post by **Kevin Hendrick** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 12:35 am

Benjamin wrote:Q: What is the range of a Tuba?
A: About 10 yards if youâ€™re strong enough.

Q: What is the difference between a 3/4 tuba and a 5/4 tuba?
A: About 5 yards ...

Chuck(G) · Post by **Chuck(G)** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 12:45 am

Q. What's a tuba for?

A. About 1 3/4" by 3 1/2"

Joe Baker · Post by **Joe Baker** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 1:02 am

Chuck(G) wrote:Q. What's a tuba for?

A. About 1 3/4" by 3 1/2"

Chuck, you KNOW you're always supposed to package that joke in with this one:

Q. How do you fix a broken tuba?

A. With a tuba glue!

____________________________
Joe Baker, who feels like he's in Jr. High again -- and lovin' it!

Captain Sousie · Post by **Captain Sousie** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 1:08 am

The zen tuba joke:

A tuba player walks out of a bar.

Sou

TubaRay · Post by **TubaRay** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 11:34 am

TUBACHRIS85 wrote:
The zen tuba joke:

A tuba player walks out of a bar.

Since when do they ever walk out of a bar?

[/quote
Now if it began, "A tuba player staggers out of a bar."

Captain Sousie · Post by **Captain Sousie** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 1:16 pm

In my experience a tubaplayer never leaves a bar upright.

Sou

Benjamin · Post by **Benjamin** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 3:18 pm

Hey, my band director plays Trumbone, can you give me any Trumbone jokes to burn him on? Thanks,
Benjamin.

Kevin Hendrick · Post by **Kevin Hendrick** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 3:21 pm

Captain Sousie wrote:In my experience a tubaplayer never leaves a bar upright.

Sou

Yup -- bell-front, usually (just for the "record") ...

Kevin Hendrick · Post by **Kevin Hendrick** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 3:30 pm

Captain Sousie wrote:The zen tuba joke:

A tuba player walks out of a bar.

Sou

"You know the sound of two lips ... what is the sound of one lip?"

Captain Sousie · Post by **Captain Sousie** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 11:27 pm

Kevin Hendrick wrote:
Captain Sousie wrote:In my experience a tubaplayer never leaves a bar upright.

Sou
Yup -- bell-front, usually (just for the "record") ...

Now I get it

Captain Sousie · Post by **Captain Sousie** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 11:27 pm

Hey Bloke, these are supposed to be jokes...not the truth.

Captain Sousie · Post by **Captain Sousie** » Sun Mar 06, 2005 3:16 pm

Too true, just look at your signature

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Sun Mar 06, 2005 3:38 pm

Moe: "A tuba player and a conductor were on their way to a gig. Suddenly a car jumped on to the sidewalk, plowed down twenty pedestrians, killing them, including the conductor and the tuba player, plowed through a plate glass window, and killed forty more people who were eating lunch at a cafe."

Curly: "That's outrageous, and I don't even think for a minute it could be true! You say the tuba player was on his way to a gig?!"

ken k · Post by **ken k** » Mon Mar 07, 2005 9:45 pm

Benjamin wrote:Hey, my band director plays Trumbone, can you give me any Trumbone jokes to burn him on? Thanks,
Benjamin.

When you are at a playground with a bunch of little kids, how do you know which one is the son of a trombone player?

He is the won't who can't swing and is afraid of the slide......

Kevin Hendrick · Post by **Kevin Hendrick** » Tue Mar 08, 2005 12:24 am

iibagod wrote:Ah, zen tuba:

What is the sound of one lip flapping?

Why, Pedal Bb, of course?

chevy68chv · Post by **chevy68chv** » Thu Mar 10, 2005 12:48 am

harold wrote:What do the tuba solo and premature ejaculation have in common?

A. You know it is going to happen and you are powerless to do anything about it.

ouch

tubatooter1940 · Post by **tubatooter1940** » Mon Mar 14, 2005 12:31 pm

Definition of a gentleman:
A man who knows how to play accordion,but doesn't.

TubeNet

Tuba Jokes

Tuba Jokes

Re: Tuba Jokes

Bar none

Zen again ...

Re: Bar none