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Tuba Jokes
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 12:10 am
by Benjamin
Hello fellow comedians of the band. I used to play football so I never was as you say a band geek. (Not to hurt any body's feelings for now I join the brotherhood of geeks) Anyways every body knows all these great jokes for their interments but I only know one. Any other Tuba jokes would be nice. Thanks.
Benjamin.
Joke:
Q: What is the range of a Tuba?
A: About 10 yards if you’re strong enough.
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 12:14 am
by Joe Baker
These two tuba players walk past a bar....
...well, it COULD happen!
_____________________
Joe Baker, who probably doesn't QUITE merit the label "comedian"...
Re: Tuba Jokes
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 12:35 am
by Kevin Hendrick
Benjamin wrote:Q: What is the range of a Tuba?
A: About 10 yards if you’re strong enough.
Q: What is the difference between a 3/4 tuba and a 5/4 tuba?
A: About 5 yards ...
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 12:45 am
by Chuck(G)
Q. What's a tuba for?
A. About 1 3/4" by 3 1/2"
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 1:02 am
by Joe Baker
Chuck(G) wrote:Q. What's a tuba for?
A. About 1 3/4" by 3 1/2"
Chuck, you KNOW you're always supposed to package that joke in with this one:
Q. How do you fix a broken tuba?
A. With a tuba glue!
____________________________
Joe Baker, who feels like he's in Jr. High again -- and lovin' it!
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 1:08 am
by Captain Sousie
The zen tuba joke:
A tuba player walks out of a bar.
Sou
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 11:34 am
by TubaRay
TUBACHRIS85 wrote:The zen tuba joke:
A tuba player walks out of a bar.
Since when do they ever walk out of a bar?
[/quote
Now if it began, "A tuba player staggers out of a bar."
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 1:16 pm
by Captain Sousie
In my experience a tubaplayer never leaves a bar upright.
Sou
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 3:18 pm
by Benjamin
Hey, my band director plays Trumbone, can you give me any Trumbone jokes to burn him on? Thanks,
Benjamin.
Bar none
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 3:21 pm
by Kevin Hendrick
Captain Sousie wrote:In my experience a tubaplayer never leaves a bar upright.
Sou
Yup -- bell-front, usually (just for the "record") ...
Zen again ...
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 3:30 pm
by Kevin Hendrick
Captain Sousie wrote:The zen tuba joke:
A tuba player walks out of a bar.
Sou
"You know the sound of two lips ... what is the sound of one lip?"
Re: Bar none
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 11:27 pm
by Captain Sousie
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 11:27 pm
by Captain Sousie
Hey Bloke, these are supposed to be jokes...not the truth.
Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2005 3:16 pm
by Captain Sousie
Too true, just look at your signature
Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2005 3:38 pm
by windshieldbug
Moe: "A tuba player and a conductor were on their way to a gig. Suddenly a car jumped on to the sidewalk, plowed down twenty pedestrians, killing them, including the conductor and the tuba player, plowed through a plate glass window, and killed forty more people who were eating lunch at a cafe."
Curly: "That's outrageous, and I don't even think for a minute it could be true! You say the tuba player was on his way to a gig?!"
Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2005 9:45 pm
by ken k
Benjamin wrote:Hey, my band director plays Trumbone, can you give me any Trumbone jokes to burn him on? Thanks,
Benjamin.
When you are at a playground with a bunch of little kids, how do you know which one is the son of a trombone player?
He is the won't who can't swing and is afraid of the slide......
Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2005 12:24 am
by Kevin Hendrick
iibagod wrote:Ah, zen tuba:
What is the sound of one lip flapping?
Why, Pedal Bb, of course?
Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 12:48 am
by chevy68chv
harold wrote:What do the tuba solo and premature ejaculation have in common?
A. You know it is going to happen and you are powerless to do anything about it.
ouch
Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 12:31 pm
by tubatooter1940
Definition of a gentleman:
A man who knows how to play accordion,but doesn't.
