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"You haf again given the "hand" to the trombone section, Mr. Bond... vill you never learn!?"

I'm sure that Acme makes something that could be adapted. Check with W. E. Coyote (might not be a member of the board).

I suggest hydraulic solutions to problems of conductor-disposal.
Advantages:
- no flying/falling conductors, so no risks of damage to audience, orchestra members and room decoration.
- disposing process is slower, providing more entertainment value.
- after conductor has been taken care of, device can be taken back to car plant and put back to its original use.

Disadvantage: clean-up after use takes more trouble. But I´d prefer stained suit over broken Roof any day.