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What's another word for synonym? Is it possible to have a civil war? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Why aren't hemorrhoids called asteroids? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is this a hostage situation? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? What do batteries run on? When it rains, why don't sheep shrink? If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to talk? What do you do if you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants? Is it possible to be totally partial? Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes? What is the speed of dark?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why do you drive in a parkway, and park in a driveway??

#dadjokes

Do you walk to work or carry your lunch?

bloke wrote:If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

I laughed way to hard at that one.

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why do some drive-thru ATM's have a Braille keypad?

I accidentally poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Bill Troiano wrote:I accidentally poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Bill:oops
Dog:wait until I come back as a ghost hooman.(human)

If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be “degraded”?

The really old hotel room gag - updated for inflation:

3 travelers went to a hotel and wanted to get lodging for the night. The manager said that only one room was available which they could share for $300. After they went to the room the manger decided that he should probably have charged them less so he sent the bellhop to their room with $50 in tens. The bellhop couldn't make change to split the $50 evenly among the 3 travelers so they each took a ten letting the bellhop keep $20. Thus each traveler paid $90 for the room for a total of $270 and jointly paid the bellhop $20. Since $270 + $20 = $290 where is the missing $10?

pwhitaker wrote:Why do some drive-thru ATM's have a Braille keypad?

Banks use those same machines as walk-up ATMs and it helps the sight impaired work the machine.

windshieldbug wrote:If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be “degraded”?

I would say upgrade because young kids are annoying.

The"speaking from experience"Tuba

the elephant wrote:

pwhitaker wrote:The really old hotel room gag - updated for inflation:

3 travelers went to a hotel and wanted to get lodging for the night. The manager said that only one room was available which they could share for $300. After they went to the room the manger decided that he should probably have charged them less so he sent the bellhop to their room with $50 in tens. The bellhop couldn't make change to split the $50 evenly among the 3 travelers so they each took a ten letting the bellhop keep $20. Thus each traveler paid $90 for the room for a total of $270 and jointly paid the bellhop $20. Since $270 + $20 = $290 where is the missing $10?

The $270 already contains the guy's tip. You can only add up cash in. You cannot add cash out.

Bill = $250
Guests = $30 refund
Bellman = $20 tip
Total = $300

Cash in actually only equals $250 and not $300. Actual cash returned equals $30. Amount missing from original total is $20, which was the employees "tip". Any other way of looking at it is an old short changer's scam and a logical fallacy that most would not catch until too late. If you tell it fast enough most people would just accept that the $10 is missing. This idea can easily be reversed and used to rob even a well-educated cashier.

Your signature does not match your logical approach to a question.

Schlepporello wrote:What is the question that can never be answered, and it's staring you right in the face?

Would finding the question count as a answer to a question that is staring at you?

Schlepporello wrote:What is the question that can never be answered, and it's staring you right in the face?

Doctor who?

windshieldbug wrote:

Schlepporello wrote:What is the question that can never be answered, and it's staring you right in the face?

Doctor who?

I thought who's on first

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconuts, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

the elephant wrote:

windshieldbug wrote:If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconuts, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

It was never in the script.

What fun are you?

windshieldbug wrote:

the elephant wrote:

windshieldbug wrote:If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconuts, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

It was never in the script.

What fun are you?

I'll bet the Professor could have built a nuclear reactor out of bamboo and seaweed, if he had put his mind to it