Famous Quotes About Tubas

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MartyNeilan
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Post by MartyNeilan »

My trombone teacher, Doug Warner, once took an orchestration class where they learned the name of instruments in every language. Tuba stayed the same. He commented that, "No matter what language, tuba is still a four letter word!"
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Roger Lewis
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Post by Roger Lewis »

Two tuba players walked past this bar.....WELL IT COULD HAPPEN!
"The music business is a cruel and shallow trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side." Hunter S Thompson
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Post by kegmcnabb »

bloke wrote:
oldest punchline in the world wrote:Hey Harry! I just found the guy who sh!t in your tuba!!!
:D :D :D

Hoo-boy,

I hadn't heard that one for a while.
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GC
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Post by GC »

The act of playing the tuba is called tubation.

Many people gathered together and playing their tubas is called mass tubation.
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windshieldbug
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Post by windshieldbug »

GC wrote:Many people
on TubeNet talking about
GC wrote:their tubas is called mass tubation.
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
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windshieldbug
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Post by windshieldbug »

How many tubist does it take to open a beer?

None. They're not good with sharp objects, so it should already be open when you hand it to them.


:lol:
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
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Post by TubaRay »

windshieldbug wrote:How many tubist does it take to open a beer?

None. They're not good with sharp objects, so it should already be open when you hand it to them.
Just a minute. I can play sharp any time you want. Of course, it is always best to save the energy of having to open the beer.
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iiipopes
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Post by iiipopes »

TubaRay wrote: Just a minute. I can play sharp any time you want. Of course, it is always best to save the energy of having to open the beer.
So can I, especially when I have to play with strings!
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LoyalTubist
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Post by LoyalTubist »

TUBA PLAYING IS A LOW BLOW.

TUBA PLAYERS HAVE BASS INSTINCTS.
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Post by tubatooter1940 »

A tuba in the hand is better than one in the bush. (or is that supposed to be about a bird?) :?
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Post by windshieldbug »

Retrograde country song:

You get your trailer back, your dog back, you girlfriend back, your tuba back...
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
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Post by tubatooter1940 »

Corn country tuba! Yeehaw! :lol:
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corbasse
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Post by corbasse »

MartyNeilan wrote:My trombone teacher, Doug Warner, once took an orchestration class where they learned the name of instruments in every language.
They must be still in that classroom! (There are 6,912 known living languages... ;) :P )
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Post by Karl H. »

"Tuba players have the biggest instruments."

...from a bumper sticker affixed to my '64 Chevy.

Karl "should have heard the comments my wife got from the low-rider crowd" Hovey :shock:
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Post by Chuck(G) »

"I remember you from high school--you barfed in my tuba!

-Chloe Talbot to Homer Simpson, episode 339 "She Used to Be My Girl"

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Post by jbeish »

"I remember you from high school--you barfed in my tuba!
I believe it was the school's tuba...

Great line!
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Post by LoyalTubist »

You play the tuba at both ends.

...my ex-wife, on commenting about my lactose intolerance...
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Post by ZACH336 »

IowegianStar wrote:
The tuba player is normally a stocky, bearded guy whose hobby is plumbing. The only member of the orchestra who bowls over 250 and gets his deer every year and changes his own oil. In his locker downstairs, he keeps a pair of lederhosen for free-lance jobs. Anyway, there's only one tuba in the bunch and he's it.
- Garrison Keillor from "A Young Lutheran's Guide to the Orchestra"

http://www.harrogate.co.uk/harrogate-band/humour40.htm
Made me lol, so good it deserves to be mentioned again. :lol:
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iiipopes
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Post by iiipopes »

This isn't really a quote, but it leads to one. In high school, prepping for a marching contest my freshman year, we had before school field practices. It was so cold one morning the four of us souzy players all had our valves freeze. Wait - there's a catch - mine froze open. The next guy's froze with 1 down. The next guy...you get the picture. So we all just shrugged our shoulders at each other, paid careful attention and played the notes we could, which, as it turned out, was just about everything.

At the end of practice, back inside for debriefing and much needed hot chocolate provided by the band booster mothers, I told the director what happened and, per his "standing orders," that we just kept going as best we could. "So that's what happened. I could hear it all, just at such a low volume I couldn't figure out what was happening...."
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bort
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Post by bort »

From my college band director: "Oh tubas, that's awful."
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