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Postby Chuck(G) » Sat Feb 11, 2006 9:49 pm

"I remember you from high school--you barfed in my tuba!

-Chloe Talbot to Homer Simpson, episode 339 "She Used to Be My Girl"

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Postby jbeish » Sun Feb 12, 2006 1:59 am

"I remember you from high school--you barfed in my tuba!


I believe it was the school's tuba...

Great line!
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Postby LoyalTubist » Mon Feb 13, 2006 1:16 am

You play the tuba at both ends.

...my ex-wife, on commenting about my lactose intolerance...
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Still looking to start the tuba ensemble. Contact me after June. Sorry, but we have had one tragedy after another.
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Postby ZACH336 » Wed Feb 15, 2006 6:50 pm

IowegianStar wrote:
The tuba player is normally a stocky, bearded guy whose hobby is plumbing. The only member of the orchestra who bowls over 250 and gets his deer every year and changes his own oil. In his locker downstairs, he keeps a pair of lederhosen for free-lance jobs. Anyway, there's only one tuba in the bunch and he's it.


- Garrison Keillor from "A Young Lutheran's Guide to the Orchestra"

http://www.harrogate.co.uk/harrogate-band/humour40.htm


Made me lol, so good it deserves to be mentioned again. :lol:
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Postby Bob1062 » Wed Feb 15, 2006 11:23 pm

-A friend of mine, Rich, studied with Roger Bobo. One time he was at Bobo's place playing his alphorn :D . When he left, he passed Bobo's neighbor who said, "Oh, so that was you."

-During one of my recent trips to WWBW (problems with my expensive new trombone :( ), I was spending some quality time in the tuba room. Hey I live like an hour away, if I have to drive there I want to have some fun!
[See kids, you can sometimes have fun without alcohol!}
I was honking away on one tuba or another (I have played all of them there at the same time like 4 times :D ). I think I was trying to play false tones on a Miraphone 191 when Roger Lewis bounces in. "Oh, it's you." :D :D :D
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Postby iiipopes » Wed Feb 15, 2006 11:45 pm

This isn't really a quote, but it leads to one. In high school, prepping for a marching contest my freshman year, we had before school field practices. It was so cold one morning the four of us souzy players all had our valves freeze. Wait - there's a catch - mine froze open. The next guy's froze with 1 down. The next guy...you get the picture. So we all just shrugged our shoulders at each other, paid careful attention and played the notes we could, which, as it turned out, was just about everything.

At the end of practice, back inside for debriefing and much needed hot chocolate provided by the band booster mothers, I told the director what happened and, per his "standing orders," that we just kept going as best we could. "So that's what happened. I could hear it all, just at such a low volume I couldn't figure out what was happening...."
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Postby Bob1062 » Mon Mar 05, 2007 4:18 pm

We played Bernstein's Overture to Candide.


Just for kicks, I (bass trombone) played the first note F as a pedal once in rehearsal. Tuba player told me to keep it in (he played the higher octave). He also told me to play the low Eb's (right after the off-beat spot, sorta near-ish the end) as pedals while he played the higher octave. Sounded cool! But the quote is-


"Nail the piss outta them."


:D





Bob"nothing makes a bass trombonist happier than blasting out pedal Eb's"1062
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Postby Deleted dp » Mon Mar 05, 2007 9:01 pm

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Last edited by Deleted dp on Mon Mar 21, 2016 9:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby bort » Mon Mar 05, 2007 11:27 pm

From my college band director: "Oh tubas, that's awful."
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Postby greatk82 » Mon Mar 05, 2007 11:31 pm

[quote="Chuck(G)"]"I remember you from high school--you barfed in my tuba!

-Chloe Talbot to Homer Simpson, episode 339 "She Used to Be My Girl"

"Actually, it was the SCHOOOOOOL'S Tuba!"
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Postby fgtuba » Tue Mar 06, 2007 3:26 am

fgtuba wrote:Fred, play softer . Remember, it's only marked ONE mezzo]-piano there
corrected quote fg 030507
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Postby Wyvern » Tue Mar 06, 2007 3:53 am

"The basses are too loud" - a favourite of my band director!
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Postby Dylan King » Tue Mar 06, 2007 4:13 am

"Tuba? Isn't that just a big, farting monster of pain?"
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Postby Anterux » Tue Mar 06, 2007 6:44 am

Trombones are cylindrical tubes, tubas are comical tubes,...


:lol: :lol: :lol:
Last edited by Anterux on Tue Mar 06, 2007 2:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby finnbogi » Tue Mar 06, 2007 8:54 am

Neptune wrote:"The basses are too loud" - a favourite of my band director!

And my choir director...
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Postby drewfredrickson » Tue Mar 06, 2007 11:59 am

"Tubas!! BIG Tubas, NOT little dummy tubas!!"-James F. Keene, director of bands at the University of Illinois after the trumpet players stood for a section bow intended for the tubas.
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Postby tubapress » Tue Mar 06, 2007 12:26 pm

If you can hear yourself off the back wall, you're too loud!" -- unnamed but recently retired wind ensemble conductor

BONUS -- Great trombone quote
Referring to the final thematic statement by the trombones in the finale of Mahler 5th: "Trombones...when Mahler writes "uber alles" he is referring to the orchestra, not the entire state of New York!" --unnamed orchestra conductor
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Postby Wyvern » Tue Mar 06, 2007 12:42 pm

If there was a star of the evening it was the tuba player, Lee Tsarmaklis, whose solos at the beginning of the finale were a real wonder. Perfect slurs, articulation and phrasing.

Music Web International review of concert of Mahler 6 with London Philharmonic Orchestra conducted by Mark Elder. Not so often does a tuba player get picked out for such praise!!!

http://www.musicweb-international.com/SandH/2005/Jan-Jun05/lpo0903.htm
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Postby windshieldbug » Tue Mar 06, 2007 1:47 pm

Q. Why is the tuba considered the hardest instrument to play?

A. Because you have to give them credit; it's a lot harder to read music when you're consistently drunk.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
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Postby iiipopes » Tue Mar 06, 2007 1:51 pm

Hey! I've been known to resemble that remark! 8)
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