richland tuba 01 wrote:
From what I can see, you missed an "out" near the front and 2 more "activates".
But that's just me being a smart *** spelling nazi.
Also the punctuation is bad, they didn't even put a period after Mrs. And the grammar has several errors: "this sort of behavior is inexcusable in any grade, especially the 8th grade" It should also say "If you have" before the last sentence. Otherwise it makes no sense.
*sigh*
It wasn't me that highlighted the errors. (since you missed it the first time I said it)
greatk82 wrote:There's problems in the public school system more insidious than not paying teachers enough? I am shpcked. shpcked I tell you.
I'm not too shpcked. Middle management is usually a special education section of your place of work. Sometimes that idiocy creeps all the way up to the top.
As some of the slightly older than me, tons more grumpy, posters have noted, "The idiots have the sticks!" (or something to that extent). Seems like this applies to a lot of things in life. Or I'm a huge pessimist.
Wow. Bloke's link is further proof that the animals run the zoo.
"Pardon, am I supposed to express moral outrage that this educator wrote a letter in anger and forgot to proof it? While it should not have happened to him, it could have happened to anyone."
--------
"You know what? This letter isn't that bad. The guy had seven misspelled words. Seven. Big deal. His diction was fine, his grammar was fine. He gets his point across in a cogent and brief letter. So, what's the problem?
Sure, the letter could have been proofread, but he was likely in a hurry. And that's not a small point!
If he indeed wrote this letter in a hurry, the letter is better than fine. It's pretty good! How many people could write something this well in a single draft?
Not many."
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"the father of an eighth-grader and the president of the local Community Education Council, called for Levy's firing."
"We are for zero tolerance when kids make a mistake. What is good for the goose is good for the gander."
Yes, get pissed at the teacher, instead of the shitty behavior of the kids. Zero tolerance? When kids get expelled for simple spelling mistakes, THEN I'll stop yelling bullshit."
"i'm the deen of helth but i spel like the dook of url"
"This hole thing is totoly unexpectible."
"I'm reminded of a boss I had who would send out memos exactly like this on a daily basis. He sent them to subordinates, he sent them to vendors, he sent them to corporate. He used Word and for some reason (he was computer illiterate as well) had managed to shut off the edit and spell-check functions. Finally his secretary had enough and snuck onto his computer and turned on Word's spell check and edit options. He became incensed and distracted at all the red and green lines that began to appear on his memos, but made the unfortunate discovery that if he typed in all capital letters it didn't edit. So from then on, in all his memos he was yelling at us."
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
The Health Dean's letter reminds me of a couple of work-related situations...
First was a memo that came out announcing that from "thensforth" there would be no reports approved that contained either "spelling or grammertical" errors. This was in the day of typed official memos and hand-generated reports.
Second was a work plan put in place for one of my co-workers due to some problems he was having with his reports, especially his grammar. In the work plan were three errors in grammar/syntax and two in punctuation. I was detailed to "fix" the problem child. First assignment: find the errors in the work plan. He found them all.
in reply to the "what makes a tuba player"........
this is a good start..........
Retirement Planning
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock five years ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00. With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left.
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling you would have had $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. It's called the 401-Keg Plan.
A new arrival in hell was brought before the devil. The devil told his demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20 pound sledge hammer in 95 degree heat with 95% humidity. At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only to find him smiling and singing as he pounded rocks. The man explained that the heat and hard labor were very similar to those on his beloved farm back in Georgia.
The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120 degrees, with 100% humidity. At the end of the next day, the devil again checked on the new man, and found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The man explained that it felt like the old days, when he had to clean out his silo in the middle of August on his beloved farm back in Georgia.
At that, the devil told his demon to lower the temperature for this man to -20 degrees with a 40 mph wind. At the end of the next day, the devil was confident that he would find the man miserable. But, the man was instead singing louder than ever, twirling the sledge hammer like a baton. When the devil asked him why he was so happy, the man answered, "Cold day in hell, the Falcons must be in the Super Bowl!"
________________________________________________________
You only have one chance to make a first impression. Don't blow it.
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you were drying.
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, "Ouch...."
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija Board Principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub you want the bearing race out of.
WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16" or 1/2" socket you've been trying to find for the last 15 minutes.
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new disk brake pads, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2 X 4: Used for levering an automobile upward off a hydraulic jack handle.
PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbor to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.
TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.
SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.
E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps off in bolt holes you couldn't use anyway.
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the tensile strength on everything you forgot to disconnect.
CRAFTSMAN 1/2" x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large pry bar that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.
AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.
TROUBLE LIGHT: The home mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm Howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes electricity produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last over-tightened 58 years ago by someone at ERCO, and neatly rounds off their heads, and then blows the breaker.
PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses too short.
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts close to the object we are trying to hit.
NAIL: A flat topped round piece of steel used as an aiming point while hammering one's thumb, or one of those expensive parts mentioned above.
MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts.
DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "DAMMIT!" at the top of your lungs. It is also the next tool that you will need.
EXPLETIVE: A balm, usually applied verbally in hindsight, which somehow eases those pains and indignities following our every deficiency in foresight.
"Don't take life so serious, son. It ain't nohow permanent." -- Pogo (via Walt Kelly)
