My life, married to a tuba player....

[jellybucket]

First there’s the tubas. Lots of tubas. They lay around the house like sleeping shimmering weimaraners. They don’t move! Vacuuming just doesn’t happen in my house. No, the tubas just lay there – that is until they get picked up and played. But what sounds come from within the deep recesses of silver plated brass? Delightful melodies or even long boring etudes? No. Just long tones. Over and over, notes that shake the floor boards and rattle the books off the shelves.

Then there’s the valve oil and slide lube. This stuff leaves grease spots on everything. The couches, the carpets, the dog’s furry coat, our bed sheets. There are stacks of music all over the house and mouthpieces in the bathroom and in the kitchen cupboards. And I can’t throw away old t-shirts or underwear because they need to be saved to make the perfect cleaning rags.

Then there are the phonecalls. Always on the cell – murmuring in the next room about valve alignments or the perfect mute. Just far enough away so that I can’t hear all the words – but close enough that I can’t get it out of my head.

But most of all – there is all of YOU! The countless hours spent scrolling through threads on the world famous BBS Tubenet checking for new gossip or equipment rants. The chest thumping and the insults, the never ending posts about bore sizes, felts and shank sizes. It’s gotten so bad over the years that I started reading it myself just so that I could feel like I am part of his life.

I have to confess – I love the tuba, more than any other instrument (well – except trombone, of course...). Tuba holds up a rhythm section, marries the brass to the string bass, puts meat on an orchestra like only a tuba can and brings great orchestration to the ultimate climax. No, I can’t live without the tuba – I feel so empty without it.

So yes, it’s come to this. I have opened my own anonymous Tubenet account – just so that I could talk to my husband.

So honey, could you please pick up some milk on the way home?

[Dan Schultz]

Had me worried for a moment. My wife, the saxophone player, and I don't drink milk!

[The Big Ben]

I have to confess – I love the tuba, more than any other instrument (well – except trombone, of course...). Tuba holds up a rhythm section, marries the brass to the string bass, puts meat on an orchestra like only a tuba can and brings great orchestration to the ultimate climax. No, I can’t live without the tuba – I feel so empty without it.

So yes, it’s come to this. I have opened my own anonymous Tubenet account – just so that I could talk to my husband.

So honey, could you please pick up some milk on the way home?

First things first.

Do you have any sisters?

[eupher61]

is your mother single??

[iiipopes]

But for the fact I actually put away my 186 in its gig bag into the music room when I got home from the brass quintet gig last weekend, I almost resemble that remark. But I also have some guitars, basses, amplifiers and speaker cabinets in the mix, so I knew it wasn't my wife, for those surely would have been described in the mix.

[jeopardymaster]

I built my 6-slot tuba "cozy" at my wife's urging so my horns wouldn't just lie around and take up a bunch of floor space, risking stubbed toes, dents and recriminations. Now it's MY space, and we're both very happy I did it.

If only she would keep the path to it clear of HER stuff.

[jellybucket]

I built my 6-slot tuba "cozy" at my wife's urging so my horns wouldn't just lie around and take up a bunch of floor space, risking stubbed toes, dents and recriminations. Now it's MY space, and we're both very happy I did it.

If only she would keep the path to it clear of HER stuff.

WOW!! a cozy! Can you post a picture?

[BVD Press]

WOW!! a cozy! Can you post a picture?

2 posts in 2 days. Be careful or you might catch your husband's amount of posts!

[OldsRecording]

OK - using the tuba players sign in but it is another wife - in our little drum & bugle corps world I was known as contraprincess. I hear your call to wonderment of it all. I do not subscribe to reading tubenet however my husband (the BIG horn player) shared your thoughts. You are not alone. It is an odd little world. Remember it could be worse, he could be child like as a drummer who would rather deliver pizza so that he can have more time to drum - or a french horn player with thin tight lips who feels he is superior to all. You have the oboe player who has pursed and pushed air through those tightly wrapped reeds and his brain function is pursed and tight. Although they are obsessed in their passion for this large, loud love they are usually fun loving and kind individuals. Will look forward to reading more of your thoughts on this subject.

[The Jackson]

Is there a "To The Wives" section of the Tuba Source Book, or something?

[The Big Ben]

WOW!! a cozy! Can you post a picture?

2 posts in 2 days. Be careful or you might catch your husband's amount of posts!

And you never answered my question:

Do you have any single sisters? Age 40-50, pleasant disposition, gainfully employed, no visible tattoos?

[OldsRecording]

2 posts in 2 days. Be careful or you might catch your husband's amount of posts!

And you never answered my question:

Do you have any single sisters? Age 40-50, pleasant disposition, gainfully employed, no visible tattoos?[/quote]

Hmmm... I think Sean might have to add an 'In Search Of' section- 'Single White Tubist seeks receiver for his Conn-Helleberg...' - or (God help us) the Tubenet Forum- 'Dear TNFJ, I am a tubist with a community orchesra in the Midwest, and I never thought this would happen to me...'

[jellybucket]

I am not going to engage in a dating service - so lets just put a stop to that now...

In fairness to the better sex - lets not forget there are some tuba players amongst you who don't have male egos driving their tubenet posts!

The most I will say about my identity is that my last name does not begin with a B. I'm not revealing my identity (or my husband's) because I speak for myself and I don't want him to get blamed for my musings. Besides - I like being mysterious!

To Contraprincess - I invite you and all the other spouses out there who have lost countless hours with their loved ones to this place to join me and share your own stories about how a tuba player has affected your life.

Maybe the moderators will decide this thread doesn't belong - and that's okay with me too. Let's see what happens.

[jellybucket]

You know, I'm pretty sure that this isn't my wife....similar as my wife only plays the radio

Why is it that you all think I am a non-musician? Okay - here is another nugget of information, I play the violin (not professionally). I met my husband in orchestra in college.

[Steve Marcus]

My wife has always been extremely supportive of my tuba playing--and my tubas.

More often than I'd like to admit, she has stalked me while I'm staring at the computer screen and harrumphed, "TubeNet, huh? Shouldn't you be practicing?"

[imperialbari]

.....I always buy the wrong kind and she ends up having to go back and exchange it.

Good old trick that works every time!

K

[Nick Pierce]

There's only one way that they'll learn.

Spying on their husbands via tubenet?

[The Big Ben]

Why is it that you all think I am a non-musician? Okay - here is another nugget of information, I play the violin (not professionally). I met my husband in orchestra in college.

One question, then:

Do you have "World Class Sound"?

Jeff "Just asking..." Benedict

[jeopardymaster]

[quote=]
WOW!! a cozy! Can you post a picture?[/quote]

Jellybucket, click on the advanced search icon above - with the little looking glass. Search for "tuba shelves" and select the button to search within "topic titles." You'll find a pretty good stream of posts on the subject including my solution - with photos.

It'll give you and your hub something else to do on a snowy weekend this winter.

[jellybucket]

Why is it that you all think I am a non-musician? Okay - here is another nugget of information, I play the violin (not professionally). I met my husband in orchestra in college.

One question, then:

Do you have "World Class Sound"?

Jeff "Just asking..." Benedict

My teacher used to say so...