stage deportment

[imperialbari]

Flute players own every right to be seated so their ergonomics are right and so that they at the same time have a good vision of the conductor. All instrumentalists own that right. It is the obligation of the ensemble management, amateur or professional alike, to make sure that there is no squeezing.

A cymbal player once asked me to lean to the left while playing my French horn. I flatly refused, as I would have been unable to walk from the rehearsal, if I had locked my spine into an unbalanced position.

The best stage management I ever saw were the guys shifting the chairs between band entries in the European Championships for brass bands in Royal Albert Hall back in 1978. They had demanded every band to come up with a seating plan weeks before the event. And they did a brilliant job knowing exactly how much space each type of instrument needed.

Klaus

[Donn]

Most of the water that collects in the horn is condensation.

Condensed what?

Condensed water, don't you think? Though I suppose there could be impurities - any other liquids with similar condensation point, so if the player has been drinking there would probably be traces of ethanol for example.

But I just wanted to point out ... that towel? If there are bodily fluids draining from your tuba onto the towel in any quantity, they're sure to soak through the towel and contaminate the floor beneath. The towel just makes it a less conspicuous mess. There's a lot to be said for that, to be sure, but if you really want to contain those fluids and keep them from touching the floor, you need an impermeable layer under the towel.

Some years back we played in some little community affair with a series of different acts, and the belly dancers that followed us were most unhappy about the drainage pools. Apparently their flowing scarves etc. were trailing on the floor and getting wet. Can't remember for sure, but I believe I did take a moment to explain that it's just condensation, not sure it made anyone happier. I think at this point, that with as many members of that band that are over 80 years of age, we can just be thankful that the only puddles we leave behind are just condensation.

[sloan]

Some time ago, I discovered the perfect towel substitute. It rolls/folds/crumples to fit in any available space, absorbs moisture, is impermeable (i.e., it soaks up water deposited on top, but none leaks through the bottom), AND it's the perfect size and just soft enough to put a tuba on its bell.

It's a chess board made out of "mouse pad" material. They used to be sold by the USCF (United States Chess Federation). 24" square, with a convenient chess board printed on top. I've given one to just about every member of the sections I play with regularly, and many of my section mates use them regularly.

Plus, I can play chess on mine, because my tuba is a King...

They *are* a bit garish for some venues - but, hey, we're in the back row.

[Mark]

Some time ago, I discovered the perfect towel substitute. It rolls/folds/crumples to fit in any available space, absorbs moisture, is impermeable (i.e., it soaks up water deposited on top, but none leaks through the bottom), AND it's the perfect size and just soft enough to put a tuba on its bell.

ShamWow?

[sloan]

Some time ago, I discovered the perfect towel substitute. It rolls/folds/crumples to fit in any available space, absorbs moisture, is impermeable (i.e., it soaks up water deposited on top, but none leaks through the bottom), AND it's the perfect size and just soft enough to put a tuba on its bell.

ShamWow?

But wait - there's more. Order today and you get one for your CC, one for your F, and two just the right size for euphs.

[Kevin Hendrick]

Some time ago, I discovered the perfect towel substitute. It rolls/folds/crumples to fit in any available space, absorbs moisture, is impermeable (i.e., it soaks up water deposited on top, but none leaks through the bottom), AND it's the perfect size and just soft enough to put a tuba on its bell.

It's a chess board made out of "mouse pad" material. They used to be sold by the USCF (United States Chess Federation). 24" square, with a convenient chess board printed on top. I've given one to just about every member of the sections I play with regularly, and many of my section mates use them regularly.

Plus, I can play chess on mine, because my tuba is a King...

They *are* a bit garish for some venues - but, hey, we're in the back row.

Sounds like just the thing for pit orchestra -- perfect for "Opening Knight" ...

[ken k]

Hey man you know the old saying....

"Spit Happens..."
k

[Dan Schultz]

There's a guy in our brass band who make floppy-lip 'horse noises' between passages.

[Bob Kolada]

Danit Kevin!!

There's a guy in our brass band who make floppy-lip 'horse noises' between passages.

[averagejoe]

Most of the water that collects in the horn is condensation.

Condensed what?

I do use a towel when playing on a nice finished wood stage, like at my church. But I really don't like hauling around a moist, dirty towel.

Especially when what makes it moist is saliva.

Rick "thinking that vapor came from somewhere" Denney

The air in our lungs is very moist, and there is moisture in the air. When warm humid air is run through cold tubing, the moisture condenses and pools in the tubes.

[gwwilk]

Most of the water that collects in the horn is condensation.

Condensed what?

I do use a towel when playing on a nice finished wood stage, like at my church. But I really don't like hauling around a moist, dirty towel.

Especially when what makes it moist is saliva.

Rick "thinking that vapor came from somewhere" Denney

The air in our lungs is very moist, and there is moisture in the air. When warm humid air is run through cold tubing, the moisture condenses and pools in the tubes.

I'm amazed here...I think averagejoe is correct and Rick Denney is full of spit! Never seen it before and won't see it again.

Rick, blow on your bathroom mirror. If what collects there is saliva, we're going to have to examine your plumbing.

[Elbee]

And who started this business of having the entire ensemble stand at the end to (hopefully) receive applause?
I have a tuba on my lap and legs that may or may not work after prolonged sitting, so I end up staring at the Sax players' butts the whole time...

[jmerring]

I truly did the ultimate faux pas during a Christmas Eve performance. Being deaf, I did not realize that my stage 'whisper' was so loud. The other tubist and I were (I thought) quietly discussing the extreme low BBb and I made a very, VERY inappropriate comment about it. Almost every band member turned to shush me. I have not and will not ever live it down, nor do it again. I've got a big mouth at the wrong times - very often.

[Arbeegee]

"The air in our lungs is very moist, and there is moisture in the air. When warm humid air is run through cold tubing, the moisture condenses and pools in the tubes."

Likewise when you buzz a mouthpiece or clean out the condensed green chocolate cake vapor from inside? Hey I'm new around here. What do I know?

R "Whatever he says, me too" BG

[MaryAnn]

For the lap holders: occasionally something comes along that really does work better. In this case it is shelf liner; it is sort of perforated looking stuff and it is mildly sticky. It comes in black, and your tuba will not scoot. You sort of make yourself a "skirt" out of it, with the ends draped over your thighs, and you will be good to go.

Pet peeve: rehearsal guest conductors who spend immense amounts of time going over THEIR delicate interpretation, making clear insinuations about their opinion of the regular conductor. Rehearsing over and over this and that entrance, the way THEY would conduct it, no matter that we will never see them again. Some people are just jackasses. While in the case I'm whining about, the guest conductor's interpretation was more musical than the regular conductor's interpretation, but why spend time on it? Why not rehearase stuff that needed actual rehearsing, and that could actually contribute to the upcoming performance? Getting used to how THEY conduct the entrance after the railroad tracks does not help us play it with the regular person.

Sheesh. Give someone a baton and immediately the horns are in the back.

MA

[Kevin Hendrick]

Sheesh. Give someone a baton and immediately the horns are in the back.

A "no-bull" sentiment, to be sure!

[tbn.al]

Just finished a performance of Tchaik 1 with a photographer snapping pics behind us with a LOUD shutter. He didn't have sense enough to wait until the soft places were past. We will have shutters clicking all over the recording. The audience had to have heard it. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

[averagejoe]

"The air in our lungs is very moist, and there is moisture in the air. When warm humid air is run through cold tubing, the moisture condenses and pools in the tubes."

Likewise when you buzz a mouthpiece or clean out the condensed green chocolate cake vapor from inside? Hey I'm new around here. What do I know?

R "Whatever he says, me too" BG

There is definitely some spit in the horn after playing, I just don't think that it is the majority.

More in line with the original post, I am always annoyed when those who set up the stage place chairs directly behind chairs in other rows. This happened to me in a concert yesterday. I set my chair in an optimal place for our sound check and mini rehearsal before the concert. Another ensemble had their pre-concert rehearsal thing right after us. They moved all of the chairs and when I came out for the concert I had very little space to even set my horn sideways on my lap, and the seat in front of me was directly between mine and the director. The seat happened to be occupied by a tall person. I moved as much as I could but my neighbors could only move so much. I had to work very hard to see the conductor throughout the concert.

[Rick Denney]

Rick,
The trick to being a fat man wearing white tie/tails is to wear the size that REALLY fits (and not the size that one WISHES were the right size).

Dan Aykroyd wasn't fat. And it didn't seem to me that Belushi's clothes were tight. That wasn't what made them the Blues Brothers.

Rick "not needing to go into it further" Denney

[Rick Denney]

I'm amazed here...I think averagejoe is correct and Rick Denney is full of spit! Never seen it before and won't see it again.

The stuff that makes the air in your lungs moist isn't a heck of a lot different from the stuff your saliva glands secrete into your mouth or the stuff that your mucous membranes secrete into your nasal passages. In fact, it may be worse in the gross-out department. When I breathe on my mirror, it's not steam from a hot shower I see.

Point is, people don't believe us when we say it's "condensation" and not "saliva".

Rick "the moisture has to come from somewhere" Denney