How do you deal with failure?

[vd8m9]

Like if you failed an audition you really cared about...

[vd8m9]

I was wondering how you personally dealt with it. For me, I feel depressed for a few days or so, then I start practicing alot until I get exhausted

[TexTuba]

I drink until I can't feel feelings...

[burningchrome]

Cake. Chocolate cake.

[Ace]

I'm not sure what the word "failure" means in the context of your question. It could mean that you feel you really screwed up in the audition because you didn't prepare well enough. (No wonder you feel bad.) Or, perhaps it means you actually did very well but were beat out by a better player. (No reason to feel bad about yourself there. You tried hard.)

Perhaps the board could respond better if you could clarify what kind of "failure" you are talking about.

Ace (who has failed a few auditions since starting in 1947)

[thezman]

This is the best advise you will ever find on this topic (despite what the shelves of self-help books will tell you):

You provide your own closure and you provide your own impetus to get back to work.

If it helps, I have found that when I got passed over for something, whether it be a job, a gig, or a program, it ends up being a blessing in the end.

Maintaining a positive attitude is important, but as much as it's about you, it's actually more about them. If you don't fit into the hiring/selection committee's notion of what they need, you're better off doing your thing rather than trying to change your style to mix in with the organization. It saves everyone headaches in the long run.

[k001k47]

Think about what went wrong and fix it.

[UDELBR]

Think about what went wrong and fix it.

+1. Auditions are valuable learning opportunities, both in the preparation stage as well as the after-the-fact evaluation. This is how you improve and ultimately win auditions.

[mceuph]

This is a question better suited for a teacher or other trusted friend or colleague that knows your specific situation.

I highly reccomend "Golf us Not a Game of Perfect" by Dr. Bob Rotella. Was highly recommended to me by a professional orchestral tuba player. Can be gotten used for very cheap. Also, ignore anyone who tells you that it's somehow wrong for you the feel disappointed about missing out on something you care about, or that it is any kind of indication that you're not cut out for auditions. I expressed these same sentiments to one of my teachers, Alan Baer, after coming up short in an audition. He told me that he had expressed the same disappointment many times to his teacher, Ron Bishop, when he had failed auditions. However, the more times he heard "no", the less it affected him, and the more determined and experienced he became. Some of the most revered names in the tuba/euphonium world have expressed, and occasionally still express disappointment when something doesn't work out. The difference is that instead of hindering them it motivates them.

[bort]

Here's the most important part:
Failing is supposed to suck. The fact that you feel bad and it sucks is a GOOD thing. If failed and it didn't affect you, then you'd have to do some serious reflection to figure out what you are doing with your life.

Second most important part:
The opposite of winning is not failing. The opposite of winning is losing, and losing and failing are different. That is, not winning an audition does not mean you failed it. I'm not saying that in the modern-weenie style of "everybody is a winner," because that's crap too, and losing and failing does exist. Just figure out why you didn't win, and use that to get better and move on. The worst thing you can ever do is to stop, or to give up. Want to see a graceful non-win? Check out some interviews of Peyton Manning after losing the Super Bowl. I'm no fan of the Manning hype, but you have to admit, he's a man who sees things clearly and communicates well, even when you know he's never been more disappointed in his life.

[smitwill1]

What's been implied but not said explicitly: auditions are selective. Most people hear "no". Experience makes hearing that easier because: 1) you've heard it before (duh), 2) you know you'll live, and 3) you've met a lot of other people that have heard "no" and lived. Don't walk away dejected, learn from the experience. If you can, stick around and listen outside the door to the finalists. Find out what the committee was listening for: 1) can you do it, but you're just too inconsistent right now? 2) can you not do it, but could you with more time/practice/instruction? 3) do you have the desire/tenacity to do what's needed to get to that point? Reflect, but don't wallow--identify where you can spend your time and energy productively to be successful in the future or find something else that you are willing to work on with that level of drive.

[windshieldbug]

Find out what the committee was listening for

After having sat on a few committees, this is the biggest and hardest. Normally, in audition committees of a professional orchestra the Music Director has 51% of the vote. So you have to crawl inside their head and figure out what kind of sound/blend they're looking for. Even if the final is a series with the orchestra.

If you can't play the required pieces well, you wouldn't have been invited in the first place.
After that, it's how well you work with the section.
There is always something that you could have done better, or something that you haven't picked up on yet.
This is your opportunity to identify it, and work on it.

The first round of the Philadelphia Orchestra audition, nobody won (including candidates that had played well with the orchestra as subs). You never know what the committee is listening for, or what may impress them.
Playing everything well is only the first hurdle...

If you fear rejection, DON'T go into music at ANY level, no matter how much you like the applause when you do something well! An audition is like a job interview, and being qualified only gets you to the next level.

[DHMTuba]

“It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed."
Theodore Roosevelt

[eupher61]

Fail. In whose ears? Yours? Maybe that's a fair evaluation, if you know you could have done better, but simply did things incorrectly.
The committee/listener's? Not at all fair. If you performed the best you were able, and know for a fact that your performance ability is at or above the level reasonably expected, it was a difference of opinion.

If YOU think you failed, you can do one thing: prepare again, do another audition, and do your best. If you simply did not achieve the goal of the audition, the needs and demands were a little different than you expected. Try to find out what the difference was, and work toward having that as part of your arsenal.

No matter what, you can quit, or you can go on. Taking it as a personal affront will accomplish nothing. Observe, learn, and do. Don't be judgemental about yourself, or others...simply work to achieve the ultimate goal.

"The Cow in the Parking Lot" Edmiston and Scheff The focus is more toward anger, but your OP comes off as angry. That doesn't help anything.

[Mark]

Like if you failed an audition you really cared about...

Failed? Or didn't win the audition? To me, there is a big difference.