Tuba Urban Legends

manatee · Post by **manatee** » Sun Mar 27, 2005 11:46 pm

Other than that last rude flame, this is the most enjoyable thread I have read here in a while. Seriously. . . be Nice! You can get your point accross without being a Smart ___. People will listen rather than get turned off.
I will throw this Tuba Legend out, as I have no idea to it's authenticity: Arnold Jacobs was playing something, somewhere, and he paused to remove his dentures, saying that they were not working that day, and continued on.

brianf · Post by **brianf** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 12:15 am

A York Master is a York!
from a famous tubist - "I never met a tuba player I didn't like."
A St Petersburg wil;l last for years

Finally, a new one yesterday in Athens "Play this horn" - a so-called York copy with paper and tape over the label. During this Vince pulls out his cell phone pretending to make a call then snaps a picture of me. Will he put the pix on the Tuba Exchange website under the heading "Look who's playing a St Petersburg?" BEWARE!!!

PS - Mr Jacobs had two lungs and no dentures. Much better than having dentures and no lungs - here's a new one, Arnold Jacobs had no lungs!

tubaman5150 · Post by **tubaman5150** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 12:22 am

manatee wrote:Other than that last rude flame, this is the most enjoyable thread I have read here in a while. Seriously. . . be Nice! You can get your point accross without being a Smart ___. People will listen rather than get turned off.

Good advice. There is no reason for unprovoked flames. I suppose the real danger in flames is that it can real tempting to respond in kind or to make sarcastic comments about those involved. I'll try and keep that mind next time.
You're right. This is a great thread! Its a shame to ruin it by slamming what someone has contributed to it.

tubaman5150 · Post by **tubaman5150** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 1:27 am

Doc wrote:It would be a shame for some *ss to unecessarily flame some other *ss who was unecessarily flaming some other *ss.

Relevance to urban legend?

Tuba players are nice guys. They are laid back and wouldn't flame anyone about anything.

Doc (who can be a big *ss sometimes)

This started with someone flaming me and I flamed him back. It was childish and I shouldn't have did it. That's why that post now "sleeps with the fishes".
Lets let this one die. Cool?

tubaman5150 · Post by **tubaman5150** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 1:48 am

brianf wrote:PS - Mr Jacobs had two lungs and no dentures. Much better than having dentures and no lungs - here's a new one, Arnold Jacobs had no lungs!

You might be shocked some of the folks I've heard that "one lung" rumor from. Especially from those that have claimed to have known him personally.

tubaman5150 · Post by **tubaman5150** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 1:57 am

Doc wrote:Hey brother, lighten up. I'm just poking fun, not flaming you.

SO BACK OFF!

Sorry, just having a little late-night fun.

BTW, is "5150" a reference to Van Halen, per chance?

Doc

We're cool, Doc. Since I've stuck my own foot in my mouth, I would rather not have to chew on it for too long.

Anyway, you are exactly right about the Van Halen reference. In fact, you're the first one to get that.
I'm impressed. Perchance where you born before 1980?

bort · Post by **bort** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 8:15 am

Tuba players are the only ones in an orchestra that can change the oil in their car...well...maybe that's true.

KarlMarx · Post by **KarlMarx** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 8:58 am

bloke wrote:#2 "Anvil-weighted mouthpieces work better than normal mouthpieces."

How dare you challenge my Evangelium, you doggish heretic?

Carolus Marximus Profundamentale

KarlMarx · Post by **KarlMarx** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:03 am

Shockwave wrote:Tuba players drink a lot

If so, would that constitute a real problem?

Most of them appear to be severely braindamaged anyway.

Carolus Marximus Exceptionalis ad hesum Materiae

KarlMarx · Post by **KarlMarx** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:15 am

bloke wrote:Tuba players fart chronically, can't sightread unless there is a quarter rest in between each note (no more than three flats in the key signature, and no higher than the second line in the staff), smile all the time because that's about all they know how to do, and drive vehicles that no one else was dumb enough to buy...

JosÃ©, you ain't that far off on this one!

Only you missed out on the plentiful sad "no higher than the second line in the staff"-types, which don't really feel comfortable below the F at bottom of the staff.

Carolus Octaviae Plentiphones

KarlMarx · Post by **KarlMarx** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:20 am

Jared wrote:pulling a valve slide without pressing the valve down ruins it.

The slide?

Carolus Marximus Mystificantus

KarlMarx · Post by **KarlMarx** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:35 am

brianf wrote:A York Master is a York!

They ain't, which however doesn't prevent the upper end versions from being good.

brianf wrote:Finally, a new one yesterday in Athens "Play this horn" - a so-called York copy with paper and tape over the label. During this Vince pulls out his cell phone pretending to make a call then snaps a picture of me. Will he put the pix on the Tuba Exchange website under the heading "Look who's playing a St Petersburg?" BEWARE!!!

Not all exchanges will stock your portfolio (portefeuille in all real languages)!

Brian, you are the real Marximus!

Carolus, staying with the short version as a bow towards the Master of the York trademark.

TexTuba · Post by **TexTuba** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:45 am

I have to say that all tuba players are NOT happy go lucky. Most that I've met are, but boy I've met some that make trumpet players seem modest.

Ralph

MaryAnn · Post by **MaryAnn** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 10:01 am

mandrake wrote:
tubaman5150 wrote:Tuba's [sic.] have to play ahead of the beat because the size of the tuba makes the sound late.
I don't know which tubas you've been playing. I certainly have to rush occasionally in order to play in time. Perhaps there is another reason?

I've found two concepts out there in players, and one concept puts them behind the beat, and the other puts them right on it.

The "late" concept is the player starts to physically play the note "on" the beat. The sound comes out the bell too late.

The "on time" concept is the player does whatever is necessary physically to hear his sound come out the bell "on" the beat. The sound is not behind the beat.

MA, who has had to teach horn players this, and who wishes these simple things were taught more often in the schools

Edit: This sounds kind of like I'm slamming you which is not the intent at all...just making a general answer to your honest query.

Uncle Buck · Post by **Uncle Buck** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 10:08 am

More valves = better tuba. (I've known people to take a great-sounding 4-valve CC and make it into a stuffy-sounding 5-valve. The tuning trigger idea Jim Self and Lee Stofer used on that York restoration seems a better solution to me.)

tubeast · Post by **tubeast** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 10:13 am

Yes, Mary Ann, great comment. Imagine what a cymbal player does to play on the beat. Imagine him playing a little "tsling-tslang-tsling" as opposed to that huge crash when he has to fear to ruin the things. I guess it is the same, just not quite as obvious, on any instrument. The preparation may take longer than the note itself.

tubaman5150 · Post by **tubaman5150** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 11:41 am

MaryAnn wrote:
mandrake wrote:
tubaman5150 wrote:Tuba's [sic.] have to play ahead of the beat because the size of the tuba makes the sound late.
I don't know which tubas you've been playing. I certainly have to rush occasionally in order to play in time. Perhaps there is another reason?
I've found two concepts out there in players, and one concept puts them behind the beat, and the other puts them right on it.

The "late" concept is the player starts to physically play the note "on" the beat. The sound comes out the bell too late.

The "on time" concept is the player does whatever is necessary physically to hear his sound come out the bell "on" the beat. The sound is not behind the beat.

MA, who has had to teach horn players this, and who wishes these simple things were taught more often in the schools

Edit: This sounds kind of like I'm slamming you which is not the intent at all...just making a general answer to your honest query.

This is what I was referring to earlier. Whenever I hear of a tuba player that sounds behind (other than just bad time), its usually due improper articulation.
I think the tongue has to move a millisecond before the attack is made to be on time. I don't teach students to think about this because they exagerate it too much. Instead, I teach them to make sure their embouchure is set, they tongue quickly and solidly, and the use good air pressure. The brain will automatically adjust the timing.
I've heard many band directors say, "Tubas are behind. They need to play ahead to sound in time". What they really need say is, "Tubas are behind. They need to use better articulation and subdivide the beat".

Wilco · Post by **Wilco** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 12:19 pm

basstrombone takes more air than tuba

Rick Denney · Post by **Rick Denney** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 12:28 pm

Tuba prices are based only on what it costs to make them.

Rick "who is afraid of 16th notes" Denney

MaryAnn · Post by **MaryAnn** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 2:33 pm

tubeast wrote:Yes, Mary Ann, great comment. Imagine what a cymbal player does to play on the beat. Imagine him playing a little "tsling-tslang-tsling" as opposed to that huge crash when he has to fear to ruin the things. I guess it is the same, just not quite as obvious, on any instrument. The preparation may take longer than the note itself.

Well... we actually HAD a drummer in the brass band who did exactly that: he started his stroke on the beat. It was maddening. I can't imagine that he did not hear what he was doing, but he didn't. If I had been the conductor I would have had his rear back on trombone where he came from, instantly. I did talk to him once at the very begninning (very nice guy, just clueless) and suggested that maybe he was starting his stroke on the beat, and gave him the concept that he needed to actually hear the drum on the beat, instead. He did try but had been doing it the other way for too long. Fortunately...he ran out of time to play in the band. Whew.

MA

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Tuba Urban Legends

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