southtubist wrote:I was probably raised very differently from most of the people on this forum. I was raised to never acknowledge fear or weakness, and as a result I've never really had stage fright. I've always viewed stage fright as cowardice. I mean, what is there to really fear? The audience isn't going to physically rip you to pieces and eat your liver! I might feel slightly apprehensive (like in this one concert where I had to play a ppp G above middle C), but not nervous. If anything I tend to forget about those feelings when I'm playing, especially when playing hard music. Honestly the audience probably won't notice your mistake (particularly if you're a tuba player), and if someone does notice, should you even care?
As far as physiological responses, I believe that physical fitness will help make a player more resilient. I personally enjoy endurance exercises and am currently getting into triathlons. Rock climbing is also really fun. . . I started hunting at a young age, so I learned to not shake when an adrenaline rush hits. Shaking would cause me to miss my shot. My chops only shake when I'm extremely fatigued, just like all my other muscles.
Most of the "mechanical" aspects of playing should be automatic (from practice) so that the player only has to think about their sound and the music. Of course, things don't always work that well in practice. . .
With all due respect...
The conductor will notice, and for professionals, it could be career-ending, or at least lead to additional stress being applied, which will just make things worse. I'm not a pro, but I still care about what the conductor thinks. I also care about what my colleagues on stage think, and about what
I think. I care about the musical product, and I don't want to be the person that undermines the best performance that the ensemble can deliver. I'm an amateur and no paycheck rides on it. In fact, when I have played professionally, I never had this problem, because I was younger and usually playing music composed with my abilities in consideration. As an amateur, though, I'm now stretched to my limit with music that challenges me to improve.
I have played when I was physically fit, and I have played when I was less so. I have found no correlation between my physical fitness an my playing, and no correlation between fitness and the effects of adrenalin on my essential tremor. I was extremely fit, by the way, when those symptoms first appeared--I had completed an Ironman triathlon within the previous year. Over the 15 years since then, the symptoms have gotten worse, but I've also gotten older. Despite the essential tremor, however, my playing has improved both technically and musically. Not spending 15 hours a week training is perhaps part of the reason. Life is hard to balance and good health is important. But deep athletic fitness does not make musicians better, except it may help them with hauling the tuba around or avoiding a backache from carrying or holding it.
Also, it's quite easy to suggest that people who suffer from these issues just don't practice enough. Well, hell, none of us practice enough, do we? I'm a hobbyist on the tuba, but I still take it seriously. That seriousness does not, however, mean I can set aside the many other responsibilities of life to pursue it. (That's the main reason I don't post much on Tubenet any more--I work much harder now than ever, and have many more responsibilities in other aspects of life than I used to.) So, I do my best, just as we all do. But my essential tremor problem does not get better with practice. More practice would make be a better musician, perhaps; a better technician, certainly. But it is extremely frustrating to have all that practice invalidated by a physiological condition that does not afflict me during practice. If that has never happened to you, then blessings upon your house. Perhaps you should consider what you might do if it did. Once all those techniques that have worked for you in the past no longer worked, would you 1.) consider a beta blocker, or 2.) stop playing tuba? I do not believe this is a false choice.
To Mr. John: I detect quite a bit of defensiveness in your responses. I don't mean to disparage the tools in your toolbox (recognizing that as a clinical psychologist, those are the only tools you have). But I have tried many of them. Essential tremor is a physiological problem that is exacerbated by adrenalin. I might learn to control adrenalin release, up to a point, by the methods you espouse, but at what cost? Is that cost greater or lesser than the negligible risk (your word) of taking 10mg of Propanolol once in a while?? How many therapy sessions would I need, that my insurance company would have to pay for, with someone such as yourself, to get the same result? Is that a better deal for me (and my time is precious) or my insurance company than that tiny dose of Propanalol?
But if you think my language dismisses the methods you are suggesting, perhaps your words are equally dismissive. Please consider that. I suspect that before I'm ready to give up playing the tuba, I will be doing it all, because the alternative is to be forced to stop playing.
Rick "not taking the easy way out" Denney