Directors say the darndest things to the tuba section

[Teubonium]

Director to tuba player warming up before rehearsal:

"Do you prefer that sound to the sound of a tuba?!"

[doublebuzzing]

I heard a story once about the Minnesota Orchestra rehearsing Alpine Symphony. On one of those low loud ones I gather the bass trombone and tuba came in a little too ripe for the conductor Edo DeWaart. He stopped the orchestra and looked back at them, covered his nose, and said, "I could smell that one all the way up here." Needless to say, the recording they made of this piece had them playing much softer--I guess they got the message.

[Mark]

I'm playing Mahler 6. In the final movement, not the opening solo, but an exposed tuba part later on, the conductor is sometimes rehearsing a section in 2 and sometimes in 4. The problem is that when he does it in 4, the beat is not even close to twice as fast. So, against my better judgement, I asked him if he was going to conduct in 2 or 4 at the concert. He says "Don't watch me, just follow the pulse".

BTW, here is the opening: http://www.dogandtuba.com/Mahler6.mp3. @*(%@(*! French horn.

[SplatterTone]

Try
http://dogandtuba.com/mahler6.mp3

[sousaphone68]

while preparing for the national band championships test piece Paris sketches was asked to sound less like a tuba while playing the tuba solo.
Not sure how to sound less like a tuba so tried playing quieter

[windshieldbug]

while preparing for the national band championships test piece Paris sketches was asked to sound less like a tuba while playing the tuba solo.
Not sure how to sound less like a tuba so tried playing quieter

Try sounding like a violaphone; flat, late, and barely audible

[graybach]

We had a grad ASSistant in college who chided the tubas for being too loud on a particular section in the piece we were playing. He laid into us and said we should be able to control our behemoth of an instrument and shouldn't play that loud on ANY passage. The problem is that he had already told us not to play there and to just let the bassoons carry that passage, so none of the tubas were even playing. My smart-*** comment of, "It's hard for a negative-one people to play" was not appreciated...

Gray Bach

[ral1988]

So many classics while at college. But I'll share three that come to mind.

"Tubas -- sound like a string bass!" followed by a face that someone who was extremely congested would make. Usually followed by, "so it can sound just like christmas!".

We were rehearsing with a faculty member for some cheezy xylophone ("Golden Age" I think) with the former head band director. I guess the balance was off (too much bass?) and the perc. faculty member asks the director "Who's playing those oompahs in this section". The former director looks at his score (doesn't really look at it) and replies "The Tubas!". Perc. Faculty, "Lighten up tubas!". My friend and I looked at our parts and came to the conclusion that since we were resting during that part, it wasn't us. Anyway, we decided to find the most pea shooter mouthpieces that our school had, and played on those for that piece. Thus, we lighten up.

"Tubas you're rushing!" Director
"Is this really 140?" Me
"Yeah it is - I think so" Director
I pulled out my metronome and set it to the given tempo.
"oh" Director

The low woodwinds would drag right after he starts, and after a few times of that my other section member and I were getting pretty upset by it.

[peter birch]

"thanks guys, that was great"….well one can dream

[bort]

One time in college, I sat down my sousaphone "improperly" (still not sure what I did wrong)... the director walks past and says "Never... ever ever ever ever [slaps my face ] leave a tuba out of its case like that." And then walks away. Soon as he was out of sight my friends and I laughed and laughed and recreated it amongst ourselves.

Oh, college...

[Tundratubast]

I had just sold my Besson 983 EEb and wasn't going to be able to participate with our community band until I could put my hands on another horn. Well, the director indicated I could borrow one of the schools tubas. It was a fine( OVER STATED) old Zeiss BBb. Beat ta Hell, but still retained that nice dark beer sound of the German Tubas.

During a break, he told the Euph's & I, "Yep, that horn is a lot like Dave, Not much to look at, but still plays pretty well" The Euph guy who had studied under the director during college. Said, "You know Dave, If we look hard enough, their might have been a compliment in there"

Oh well, it was a nice sounding old Zeiss. A nice choclatey/coffee thick bock beer type of sound.