Fortune Cookie Music Lessons [Read the Rules, Please]

[The Jackson]

Make the sound smooth and organic.

[pgym]

Music is a jealous Lady. She only rewards devotion.

[DavidK]

Do good!
Don't suck!

[bort]

It's not the horn. It's you.

[ZNC Dandy]

"Never practice, always perform."
"You never know who might be listening to you."
"Dynamics are R-E-L-A-T-I-V-E!"

and one thing i've learned from working in radio, that I think is applicable..
"Speak, or in this case play, to one person."

[LOTP]

A wrong note played timidly is a mistake. A wrong note played with conviction is an INTERPRETATION !

[The Jackson]

It's not the horn. It's you.

I'd like to expand this with...

"It's not the mouthpiece. It's you."
"It's not the room. It's you."
"It's not the chair. It's you."
"It's not the person you're sitting next to. It's you."
"It's not the conductor. It's you."

And so on and on and on and on...

[tubafatness]

Why aren't you breathing? You're a goddamn tuba player!


From my bass bone teacher in high school.

[Dylan King]

Rip a lip!

[Dylan King]

Write the main thing, then the other thing, then stop.
-The Amazing Race composer, Lee Sanders

[Dylan King]

Your other left!

[Dylan King]

Revelation 18:21 “Thus with violence the great city Babylon shall be thrown down, and shall not be found anymore. 22 The sound of harpists, musicians, flutists, and trumpeters shall not be heard in you anymore."

[timdicarlo]

"If the instrument is easy to pick up and play, you'll pick up and play it."

Found that out this summer when my tuba was suddenly out of the case and in my room all the time, instead of in a locker in the music building three blocks away. I think I progressed almost as much in those three months on my own as I did the previous nine months of college-level instruction, simply by virtue of the fact that I was picking it up and playing every time I was sitting around at home.

[SplatterTone]

There is no such thing as too many mouthpieces.

(not sure about the "in bed" part on this one)

[king2ba]

Do whatever is easiest to sound good. -Floyd Cooley (said during a lesson where I was trying to play loud...really working to be loud...rather than letting the air and instrument do the work)

[king2ba]

If you want to do something, you'll find a way.....if you don't want to do it, you'll find an excuse. (I say this to my middle school kids all the time!)

[Bass Flatulance]

Maybe the tuba is not your calling.

[djwesp]

"If you can't even slur this, how the hell are you going to articulate it?"

-a to be unnamed famous quartet tuba player

[bearphonium]

Slow is smooth; smooth will become fast. In bed or out.

[peter birch]

there is always one more thing to practice...

it could be a typo....

..help! I'm a prisoner in a fortune cookie factory...(sorry, i couldn't help that one)